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I am 29 and my family is finding an amritdhari girl for me.As all my family members and relatives are non Amritdharis so we hardly know anyone in gursikhi line. we tried giving ads in newspapers almost 10-15 times. We got almost 60+ responses each time I put matrimonial ad, out of which 98 percent phone calls are those who are not amritdharis. Since I always expected an amritdhari and nitnemi girl as my life partner so I only consider those who are blessed with amrit and the remaining 2-3 percent matches are those who don’t have good education or lacking in height. As a result, after 5 months of continue search- I didn’t find any good rishta. Now my parents are suggesting me to marry a girl who is willing to take amrit, or marry a girl who is vegetarian and slowly she will take amrit and become gursikh (it doesn’t seems fair to me- I don’t want to force anyone to take amrit and I don’t want Amrit as an agreement for my marriage, I don’t want to marry a nonAmritdhari and than influence her to come to gursikhi, its not right, right?). On the contrary, some amritdhari matches weren’t interested in me because they want my all family to be Amritdhari ( None of my family members are gursikh except mom) Apart from newspaper, I tried shaadi.com, akj.org, bharatmatrimonial.com, jeevansathi.com, and some other matrimonial websites as well. I went to Canada about 7 yrs ago and settled there, Since I spent my childhood and adulthood in Punjab, therefore my mentality,nature, reasoning, thinking and behaviour is developed in a complete different way than CanadianBorns girls. So I don’t want to marry Canadian/US/UK borns girls either. I am a little disappointed with not finding any suitable match for me and equally worried for our next generations. Its 2018-it will be hard to find gursikh rishte in next 15-20 years.
Dear Fellow Members, I want to discuss the growing matter of casteism in Sikhism, As far as I am aware when our Guru ji created/started panth khalsa. He abolished all the evil roots of casteism in Sikh culture and he created a guideline that a sikh should be identified and known as a sikh . And there should be no place of caste system in SIkh culture. But look at us today, we are so lost in casteism itself that we are known as Jat sikhs or Khatri sikhs or ramgharia and so on (No offense to anyone) Even though we have dedicated gurudwaras to the different community here. I dont mean to harm anyone emotions here. Please pardon me if I have. But what do you all think as a sikh. Is it correct to give uprise to casteism itself in our culture which guru ji abolished. Please give me your views. And Another thing is that this issue is being promoted in regards to the marriages as well. I am a Sikh for all I know, But where ever I or my parents speak about the matrimony. The first question which is being asked is what caste do you belong to. I mean how does it matters ? If I am a jat or khatri or ramgharia, we all are sikhs and thats what should be imp. But for about 80% it matters a lot. I dont know what difference does it makes but Jatts only wanna marry in their same caste and so as ramgharias. How does it matters that if a person is a wierdo and do all sort of crazy stuff like drugs and do all kind of thngs but while marrying their daughter to him wont be an issue, only bcoz he is of their same caste. And on the other hand there is a guy like me who is educated, decent, religious person but nope, they wont marry their daughter with him only bcoz I do not belong to their caste. I have had enough of this caste system. And then there is another issue which is only because I wear a turban and don't trim my beard, most of the girls wont go for a guy like me bcoz of this reason. Its such a shamefull thing to say that people who are taking care of our Gurudwara have started registering for matrimonial alliance and they have put an option where a girl has to opt that does she needs a turbaned sikh or a clean shaven. If the gurudwara will support these actions then who is gonna stand with the gursikhs ? I mean this is the limits where these people can go. What kind of Sikh is a Clean shaven, A clean shaven person is not a sikh. He has lost the main identity of being a sikh. I have seen a lot of people who are going thru these difficulties and because of these things boys are cutting down there kesh and going out of sikhi. Please let me know your views on this. And again please if I have hurted any ones emotions, knowingly or unknowingly. Please accept my apologies.
Living in the Midlands, UK, aged 40+ and single so the pool of available single sikh people is so small that it feels impossible. I do not go out much and I'm either at work or at home so this a typical life of a 40+ adult. Relatives do not introduce suitable matches, no one wants to get involved these days. Gurdwara's have their own little lists where they charge £50 to £75 to register anyone searching for a partner and anyone that does not pay, WILL NOT receive any help, so I am sad to say but they are making money out of peoples unfortunate circumstances. I paid many Gurdwara's so once a year I will get a list of people where only one or two will be in my age group, no photo so I would have to ask the Gurdwara for the number. Honest answer is I have not found the other person to be attractive so I can't ruin my life and the other persons life. Attraction is a uncontrolled natural feeling, you either feel it or you don't. Years have gone by in following this process. The system simply doesn't work. Should I look outside of the Sikh community even though I was born into a Sikh family or should I remain single for the rest of my life? Responsible adults please answer as this is not just my story but its a story of many today. I'm a logical person and feel if this situation remains then the day will come when there will be hardly any Sikhs to visit the Gurdwara's. So feeding the already full person is not going help the community. Provide help where it is needed.