Dear sanagt ji, I hope someone here could kindly help me…
I have been trying to learn kirtan for a while now and I have found that I am just terrible at it, I can play the vajja but my voice is atrocious.
When I was younger I never really felt confident to sit on stage and do any kirtan but now when I did find the courage I felt like I was one of those terrible acts on X Factor, where the sangat in this case are giving me the stare and waiting for me to get off…
The saddening part of this is that when I am actually doing kirtan I really enjoy it and I don’t actually notice (unless I record myself) that I actually sound funnily hilarious….
I kind of feel that I have now a bad experience attached to me and the excitement has took a step back instead I find myself avoiding the situation…and have broken up with my vajja
I have now decided that I will not do kirtan in front of the sangat until I have not sorted myself out… I know this may sound a bit childish but I know that if I go on again without improving I will just end not ever wanting to do kirtan again which I would rather not risk…
I have come to terms to accept I am probably tone deaf and ridiculous at singing but I still want to improve hence I am here seeking help…
All your help will be appreciated by me and the sangat who has suffered my singing…