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Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh My Sikh brothers and sisters, I had a very troubling experience recently, and cannot make sense of what is going on. I post this for some spiritual guidance, and hope somebody has relevant passages from Guru Granth Sahib Ji that can point me in the right direction. One late evening a year ago, I was in a very bad situation driving my car, I do not want to go in detail. At the point at which I should have died, I had a vague vision of seeing bright light, and I believe I saw a baba with a white beard, I want to say he was standing behind a tall podium or something like that. Its so vague now, I dont recall how long this vision was, any detail, or if anything was said. Then right after that, I had another dream or vision so vivid, it felt real- My heart jolted and I was back in my car, but I could see the passenger next to me dead, and in a very gruesome situation. My heart jolted, and then I remember seeing emergency lights behind me, and came back to reality. I was so scared to look to my right, but when I did, my passenger was now alive and unscathed. I was not particularly religious before this event. But after the event although I am still a mona sikh, I wear my Kara more often and recite Japji sahib every day. I should have died that night, and every day I ask myself "am I really alive?". And even a few times I can almost even convince myself that I am really dead and this reality is just an illusion (very strong deja vu at times). A strange thing happened recently on the one year anniversary of my "death". I had markings break out on my body- and inflate parts of my skin (kind of like how a mosquito bite does). I also had red scratches all over my body- like the kind you get when you itch skin too much with long nails. This has never happened to me before, and I find the coincidence to be unbelievable. Maybe I am going mad....maybe guru ji was trying to send me a message to save my life and put me in the right direction. I dont know- but I would really appreciate the sangats advice on what is happening and if there are any passages relevant to my situation. Thank you for your time. Waheguru Ji ka khalsa, Waheguru Ji ki fateh
I once had a dream, short one, remember only bits.... I was in this huge hall, there was gold everywhere, the walls, the floors, the the huge cavernous ceilings. The hall was packed with Singhs and Singhnees all running around having fun. There were multicolored gatka Chakrees being spun, people playing gatka, and I say playing not learning shastar vidya because it was like a festival. There was only anand, not meditative but just pure happiness, joyous, bubbling. Everything was so colourful so amazingly vibrant, khalsa orange and blue all mixing with the gold background. I sat down in front of a vaja, with some people as well i think, and just started playing. I've never learned kirtan before so when the music sprang to life and my fingers played with intuitive ease I was even more happy. I think their was simran going on, I can't remember because its been so long since I've thought about this dream. I remember how much I wished as I slept again the next few nights that I could visit that place again. My bhag have been bad/good depending on your view since then. I haven't been as spiritual, infact I almost made a 180 turn. things look so bleak sometimes. I say bad because of the decreased spirituality, I say good because I've been saved from disgrace by those around me, so far, hopefully I haven't used up all of the kamayee from previous janams. Its all waheguru ji's bana I guess. But I really hate this maya jal, but then to hate something is to not except that it is a part of god, and therefore your rejecting that god is everything. And doing that will get you nowhere. It feels pointless sometimes........this atma and the jot hidden inside it............this drop of water can't mix into the ocean without being spared and given good fortune by the ocean itself. The point of this game is lost to me. It's like having a massive basketball court with no hoops and very few people have a ball. And its only when the court decides certain people have a chance they are allowed to shoot, and even then it may not go in. I just felt like sharing what I was feeling.