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Is Virginity Important To Guys?


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There are two type of blokes, ones who are brought up with Indian/Punjabi mentality i.e. What their parents taught them and those who are not.

The guys who tend to hold on to these indian values of girls being a virgin are living in a dream world, they go around trying to find these girls but they are very very rare. No-one is that innocent.

Now the guys who dont hold onto their indian/punjabi values and dont mind a girl who probably has the same amount of "experience" as them are the ones who tend to get married quicker and tend not to live in a dream world.

Being a virgin is nothing to do with being a good Sikh. However, you cant be a good Sikh without having some element of self respect for your own body and some element of control of your vices.

your probably not a virgin and sound bitter! tell me are you married??? let me tell you there are men and women out there who do wait and dont sleep around......its just that those people who wait and unlike "skanks" dont broadcast their insecurities on websites like this.......trust me people who have the same experience dont get married quicker some have to wait a long time because people just dont want to marry skanks........ALSO........we were brought up with sikh mentality not indian/punjabi mentality.........your just bitter that the comments above have hit a nerve and making you think about losing ur own virginity! ur probably not married and are worrying u wont find someone because of your past.......

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i am not a guy so i can't say exactly whether they would or would not. but from what i read based on evolutionary theory, men tend to prefer virgins and are not exactly open to the idea of having thei

Not to pinpoint to anyone in particular, but it is really easy to post personal opinions/views on an online forum. However, when life slaps one with such a situation, what you do then is the real you.

No one is a virgin. Life F***S us all.

and the stupidest question of the night goes too...

:lol:

The guys who tend to hold on to these indian values of girls being a virgin are living in a dream world, they go around trying to find these girls but they are very very rare. No-one is that innocent.
You mean no one is innocent enough to not sleep around before marriage? Seems like you need to change your sangat because people you know seem to sleep around a lot.

Now the guys who dont hold onto their indian/punjabi values and dont mind a girl who probably has the same amount of "experience" as them are the ones who tend to get married quicker and tend not to live in a dream world.
What about the guys that don't sleep around? There are still plenty of those out there. Oh wait, I forgot you can't see beyond that little bubble you have created for yourself :rolleyes:

Being a virgin is nothing to do with being a good Sikh. However, you cant be a good Sikh without having some element of self respect for your own body and some element of control of your vices.
You just contradicted yourself. How can you just sleep around if you have self control?

Personally, I don't think virginity would matter to me, I am a virgin btw. But, I also wouldn't want a wife that has slept around with many guys and is known as a *insert a demeaning word here*. We all do things in our younger years that we are ashamed of. Heck, I still do them :rolleyes: Now, thats just what I think would happen, when the time comes things may turn out completely opposite.

Another question that is probably more important: How many of us are truly virgins from the bottom of our hearts? I sure am not. Yes being physically chaste is important but if mentally you are not, then who are we kidding, it's all just pakhand. (I fall into this category).

PS. I don't know why girls are getting worked up over the thread thinking its focusing on virginity of girls only when its talking about both sides or maybe I just assumed it was :umm:

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I guess i'm getting a little worked up because of the hypocrisy in general not specifically in this thread. I'm a virgin just thought i should add that. What shocks me and aggravates me is that its considered okai around most of the world that a guy in his twenties will not be a virgin and its accepted.he's not called names or reprimanded. Where as if a girl loses her virginity then she's called a "skank" automatically, even though she only slept with one guy who promised her they were going to get married (heard tht excuse many times)

I understand that in sikhi pre-marital sex is considered bad and that this comes down to more of a cultural discussion. But i really wanna know why in the punjabi culture is it okai and expected for a guy to not be a virgin, but if a girl isnt then shes a skank?

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But i really wanna know why in the punjabi culture is it okai and expected for a guy to not be a virgin, but if a girl isnt then shes a skank?
The Punjabi culture I know doesn't expect that at all. The Punjabi culture I know of expects everyone to be respectful of each other, and treat other's like they are part of their own family.

This sort of thing is not limited to just Punjabi culture but to most, if not all, cultures of the world. Clearly it's a bunch of baloney. My best guess is that it has to do with our Patriarchal society and I believe if we were living in a Matriarchal society then it would be men who would be subjected to a higher, unequal expectations.

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But i really wanna know why in the punjabi culture is it okai and expected for a guy to not be a virgin, but if a girl isnt then shes a skank?
The Punjabi culture I know doesn't expect that at all. The Punjabi culture I know of expects everyone to be respectful of each other, and treat other's like they are part of their own family.

This sort of thing is not limited to just Punjabi culture but to most, if not all, cultures of the world. Clearly it's a bunch of baloney.

It does, expect it. I've noticed it many times here in NY that the girl gettyn engaged/married expects her fiancee not to be a virgin and where as he expects her to be one or for her to have only slept with him. Im not saying that girl's that aren't virgins are treated bad or not accepted into the family. Im just trying to figure out why guys are given so much leeway when girls arent? we're supposed to be equal.

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I guess i'm getting a little worked up because of the hypocrisy in general not specifically in this thread. I'm a virgin just thought i should add that. What shocks me and aggravates me is that its considered okai around most of the world that a guy in his twenties will not be a virgin and its accepted.he's not called names or reprimanded. Where as if a girl loses her virginity then she's called a "skank" automatically, even though she only slept with one guy who promised her they were going to get married (heard tht excuse many times)

I understand that in sikhi pre-marital sex is considered bad and that this comes down to more of a cultural discussion. But i really wanna know why in the punjabi culture is it okai and expected for a guy to not be a virgin, but if a girl isnt then shes a skank?

Who said, its ok for a boy vs. girl. Nobody said that, did anybody??

Its not ok for both, according to culture and definitely not according to sikhism. So biba ji, if you are so for untouched, please do keep it that way. Not only babaji would be proud of you, but you would be proud of yourself. once you get little more older and sit and share a talk with your husband and tell him that you didnt sleep around. Not only he would be proud of you, but you would be able to instill those values to your kids as well. So just think from that point of view. Could these girls or boys ever have a eye-to-eye talk with their kids and say bete, its not good to do but mommy (or daddy) did it. You think those kids will listen to these parents. Definitely not. So I hope you got all your answers, unless you are trying to justify to do it. PLEASE DON't, I beg you.

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to the person who started this stupid topic... we are not gorayy who do this kinda of stuff. we are sikhs. go post this crap to some other forum

You'll be surprised about how many supposedly "Sikh" guys and girls sleep around before marriage. Obviously theyre not proper Sikhs otherwise they wouldnt be doing such things, they punjabis who happen to be born into a Sikh family but dont follow maryada or practise.

At the end of the day a guy or girl who has been sleeping around before marriage should not expect to marry a virgin partner, thats just hypocrisy. The truth will alway come out one day.

However the other issue is, a decent guy or girl, who hasnt been sleeping around doesnt deserve a partner who has been sleeping around...but you see this happening too much...

Someone told me recently they would never get married to a non-virgin girl because a female will always etain some DNA of the 1st person she slept with, hence when you have kids it will always have some part or that initial person...I dont know how true this is medically...if it is true though...definitely worrying !

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Guest Kaljug

Someone told me recently they would never get married to a non-virgin girl because a female will always etain some DNA of the 1st person she slept with, hence when you have kids it will always have some part or that initial person...I dont know how true this is medically...if it is true though...definitely worrying !

Completely untrue and medically impossible.

K.

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Can we please be more mature.

Sikhs are just as likely to give into greed, lust, ego and anger as anyone else. The idea that 'sikhs' are immune to these vices is plain silly - its a constant battle to control the mind.

Virginity isn't as important as the type of person you are now, today, in the present day. Lots of people who were consumed with greed, lust, ego were changed by sikhi .

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Why is the majority of posters on this site so obsessed with kaam threads????????? Can we use bibek and know its wrong to have relations before married??????

Can we post threads that arent rhetorical ???????????????????????????????

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Two words for the ones that had alot of experience. No hard feelings, but your a F*kin Skank

soorry but what is 'skank'? pm me the meaning if it is inappropriate.

You got one of the world's best search engine at your finger tips and your asking me what a skank is. Type into google, the meaning of skank and you'll find out.

Also was not just saying it to the girls, but to the manwhores that think it's alrite for guys to mess around and not for punjabi women. Take your Jatt mentality else where it does not belong anywhere in SIkhi. Both genders should control themselves and have some self-respect.

THink about it once you get married and you are just walking around in town with your husband and you run into some guy you messed around with. Now take the same scenario and add your kids walking with you. Have some shame of commiting these acts. Your husband might not find out or your wife might not find out, but that does not matter because God is always watching.

These Punjabis like to say mostly women use this, that I have free will I can do whatever I want. No such thing as free will because free means nothing is in control. It's God's will that works and you will have to answer to him for your mistakes. Either take your karma path or the path that Guru Sahib blessed us with; Gurmat.

The way a man or women dress says alot about them. I have seen many Singh and Singhni dressing inappropiately. Stop this nonsense and stop disrespect our father. Wearing low neck shirts, tight shirts, tight pants or jeans tight suits, no matter how you put it your doing it for lust. Then you have guys wearing wife beaters and tight t-shirts to show off there muscle. Again its to attract the oppisite sex, which is for the lust. Stop dressing in these manners, especially women because they can be an easier targets. Seeing my sisters in this manner breaks my heart. A true Sikh will never marry a women for her looks. First thing he'll want to know is how much of a devoted Sikh is she. That's the only thing that matters to true Sikhs.

Not trying to bragg but I had many punjabi and white women that are moderate wanting to get married. Buddy's saying do it man shes hot. And it was always a no because looks is never on the list for a SIngh.

I know i went off topic, but I felt the above needed to be said.

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Make the change that you want to see.

If Sikh women themselves do not help their sisters in faith away from anti-sikh and other negative influeneces then you will never see a strong community and respect for their bodies.

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