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I don’t know how to explain myself but I will have a go…of late I have been feeling sad, I don’t know why, I think I am just feeling sorry for myself, but I am so lucky, I got good friends, family, shelter, clothing, water, food, everythingggggg but I so want to go, to God, to see Guru ji. The other night I woke in the middle of the night crying because I wanted to see Guru ji and be with Him and no one else and I feel alone from the world even though everyone is around me; also I have had to make some hard decisions lately with regards to my future – i did ardaas to Guru ji and asked Him and They gave me aggiya to go ahead and do these things; but it’s like I feel like I am being vain.

I am such a moorakh and I can’t get over the fact I have been blessed with Sikhi which is totally beautiful, what did I do to be so fortunate?!

It’s like I don’t want/need anything but Guru ji – I don’t want to do anything – work/study/meet friends etc just want to go Gurdwara do seva, listen to bani and my family think I am stupid and call me things like “mother teresa”

Like I see people around me so attached and so like clingy and it makes me go mental and sort of panicky inside because I think they are wasting their life away…

Sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on, just gurmantsar jaap inside me and it’s great…..

But I am so sooooo desperate, I have an intense longing and it makes me like frantic, I just want to be at peace and spend my days relaxed rather than agitated; what can I do?

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no you please tell me what can i do to have that feeling???.....you are lucky bhenji/bhaji...its not suicidal...its an intense deep yearning for Guru...thats what u have...i have only read about it...you are experiancing it.....don't be depressed...just be in chardikalaaa.....continue to do your paath, simran and sewaaa and guruji will open up all his doors for u...Gurbani tells us that ...good luck jio

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no i don't think i will because i know my life is precious in the sense that "bhei prapat manukh deuharia gobind milan ki eh teri baria avar kaaj tere kitteh naa kaam..."

but it's the way i FEEL if you get me? it's like everything is surreal?

is v hard to explain....

but it's cool

i know ima be ok :)

i think it's just been a case of feeling sorry for myself

i'm just a moorakh who has a longgggggggggg way to go

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VJKK! VJKF!!

deep vairaag for VAHEGURU :doh: what more would you want, his thirst is everything. you lucky :) We always do ardaas to feel this thirst. Its just the best feeling to have such sadness...Wish i can have this forever. You are those Gursikhs who inspire the moorakhs like me. please keep sharing these awesome feelings.

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dhukh dhaaroo sukh rog bhaeiaa jaa sukh thaam n hoee ||

Suffering is the medicine, and pleasure the disease, because where there is pleasure, there is no desire for God.

"Pooran Hoe Hamari Aasaa Torr Bhajan ki Rahay Payasa"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

<_<

Veerji/Bhenji, VAHEGURU bless you.

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Guest Harpreet Kaur Dayaal
no i don't think i will because i know my life is precious in the sense that "bhei prapat manukh deuharia gobind milan ki eh teri baria avar kaaj tere kitteh naa kaam..."

but it's the way i FEEL if you get me? it's like everything is surreal?

is v hard to explain....

but it's cool

i know ima be ok :)

i think it's just been a case of feeling sorry for myself

i'm just a moorakh who has a longgggggggggg way to go

112542[/snapback]

Paji, Penji I no xactly how u feel, because I'm personaly more enough suffering the same. I luv my Guru Ji and I luv my Sikhi. I made the decision of taking Amrit and foolishly enough I told my mum about it (thinking she would give me a little support) but no i'm getting grief instead, my family arent Amrit Dhari so they go KFC wuite a few tymz and get meat, purposely they force it down me, when they know I'm practising on keeping my Rehit Maryada. I've been in Rehit Maryada except this meat business. I dont like meat at all but then my mum starts to swear at me and calls me stupid names like "vudee bhagathni/Giyanan na hoveh tha". I dont know how to deal with this, I always cry myself to sleep just thinking I want Guru Ji there with me and no one else.

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If somepeople are forcing you to do something then, you are not breaking any rules. Because what matters in the end is your conscience. And your CONSCIENCE IS STILL CLEAN.

112591[/snapback]

yeh maybe the conscience is clean but then again I dont know y i have the guilt in thinking I wont be able to keep my Rehit Maryada just because I'm being forced to eat meat. My mum alwayz complains how I'm trying to put on a diet and stuff (just because i dont eat meat) and how I'm looking so weak. But for goodness sake there is other food available that can provide more energy.

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thank you for your kind words everyone, i am feeling much better...

went to see Guru ji today and as i walked in He said "jis ke sir upar tu swami so dukh kesa paveh"

made me feel so much more relaxed and calm

and to the bhenji above...keep the spirit sis; don't give in, explain to your mom, talk to her...hope with Gur kirpaa it works out for you...

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    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
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