How Do You Decide Who To Marry And When And If You

[Guest getting married...?]

Hi peeps,

I'm in a tough situation. For nearly a year now I have decided that I don't think marriage is really for me...I think I'd be much happier on my own, and besides, I'll be making enough money after college to live well without anyone elses's financial support. I've grown up in a house environment where not a week goes by when I dont' argue and fight with someone over the stupidest things ever, and it's not even my fault I think, its the other family members who love to argue and get me <Edited> off...(what a way to seek pleasure!)...so I dont' see how I will get along with a complete stranger and his family if I can't get along well with my own family.

so anyway, now to the real stuff:

My parents have several different offers/proposals for me. The latest proposal that they have recieved they are still finding out from my bicholee if they are jatt or not. I dont' know why it matters what their caste is if I don't believe in caste!

Anyway, the problem is that my parents will not accept my answer. I dont' wanna get married cuz I feel it interferes my sikhi goals/etc. and I just cant' get along well with people. 50% of marriages end in divorce in teh united states...I dont' want to be a divorced women...

so if it comes down to picking a guy in the end...How do I decide which guy is right for me if I dont' even know them! Its such an important decision to make, I just don't know how to come to a decision. Can any of the married people, or engaged soon to be married people share some of your experiences of you how you chose your mate? plzzz? I really need help on this :wub: (thanks in advance!)

[Amrit]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH !!

HMMM......I DNT NO ITS JUS LIKE THIS FEELING U GET AND THEN U NO....IM SORRY I KNOW THAT DNT SOUND LIKE MUCH BUT THATS RELY ALL I CAN SAY.....U CAN PM ME OR SUMMAT IF U WNT CHAT MORE....

GURU RAKHA

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH !!

[Guest Guest]

95% of all parents (and no im not overexaggerating) .. when it comes to their daughters just look at themselves and how it will benefit THEM and the FAMILY as a whole !!!

bhainji if you are at that stage where you have to get married.. our gurus supported marriage life.. it helps wit sikhi .. other singhs/singhnis can expand on this i dont have that much knowledge..

but i can suggest that your parents can NOT force you into something you dont want to do .. expecialy when it comes to marriage life where it will be you and your future hubby and not them.. its not harsh .. its just they are reli narrowminded on some things and expecially when its to do wit their own daughters..

.. you will know if he is rite IF .. you share the same goals and characters as him.. if you both agree on things (not everything .. no one is perfect .. but at least 90% of things.. ) .. and most importantly if both of you will further your own sikhis and not down it ..

i hope that helped..

[Guest its gupt pshhhh]

if ur not readyy for marriage then say no, take ur time no rush ....

get inta sikhi init, do paath, naam simran, seva.. and ull get maried to a good person in good time :TH:

its gupt pshhhh :e:

[Balwinder Kaur]

well i figure you'll know if he's the right person if y'all have chemistry. it's IMPORTANT that y'all share common goals because a marriage sucks when the guy has different goals from the girl and vice versa cuz that causes them to drift apart. emmm other things you might wanna consider are his and your financial situation (and no i'm not trying to be materialistic here...most marriage arguments are over $$$$), how well y'all get along i.e. can you talk to him easily with no concerns whatsoever etc?. i dunno much but i hope my 2 cents worth of input has proven helpful. marriage is a very big step to take, so please do not rush into it...take your time to decide and think carefully about who you choose 'cuz marriage is ideally for life. :wub: good luck dear bhainjee and with guru sahib's mehar and kirpa, everything will go well. all in HIS razaa.