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How Did U Find Him?


Heera Singh
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Vaheguru...

well I guess since I started this topic I should tell my story as well...

lets see... k....

well ... i was by no means born into a Sikh family... my dad was (and still is) an alcoholic... he cut mine and my brothers hair when we were really young (we started off keeping our kesh)... all 3 of us were basically 'forced' to live the punjabi lifestyle i.e. partying every week, eating meat, bhangra etc... etc... newayz, we were all headed down the wrong way really fast, since we grew up in the ghettos of toronto.. growing up we were all into the 'thug life'.. our family started coming to sangat when i was in grade 5, which is when i actually started keepin my hair.. at that point i was forced to keep my hair... but a year or so into it my dad cut it again... and then my momz froced me to keep it again... the next few years while in juniour high i started fallowing the gangsta lifestyle like everybody else around me... i started chillin wit older peepz who were also on the wrong track, most of them my brothers friends.....newhoo.. in high school... continued the wrong lifestyle... even though i still went to sangat... i dunno, at that point i REALLY loved goin to sangat... loved doin kirtan, playin tabla n stuff.. but didn't have the discipline or nething.. i continued keeping my kesh... my older brother turned his life around a couple of years earlier... he took amrit and all that good stuff... but me and my oldest brother were still on the OTHER side... in high school i got involved with gangs, girls n crime n all that stuff... all my friends were either drug dealers or in jail or something.. at this point my mom was really into sangat too... after a while... my dad wouldn't let her go to sangat... he was 'anti-sikhi'/'anti-sangat' kinda thing... main reason he didn't want her goin to sangat was 'cause it made her HAPPY... and bein an INDIAN MALE... he COULDN'T let that happen... rite?... ... newhoo... my momz basically stopped goin because of him, but us 3 brothers continued to go... as i got into grade 11 i kinda started changin my wayz... at that point sangat really started rubbin off on me.. as well we had a LOT of family troubles at home between my parents... my dad, from grade 8-12, left home on n off... through the years the problems just got worse... would abuse my mom n stuff... i had taken amrit jus a while before that, just basically outta nowhere... however, through my stupidity i didn't keep it and respect it...

newayz, i started gettin serious wit my life... changed schools... got 'decent' friends ... they weren't into the whole thug life... they were actually a positive influence for me... at this point i started focussin on my sikhi and studies more n more... from then on up until now, I became closer and closer to some singhs in Sangat... even though i still kept wit a lot of my 'old ways' they were still a HUGE inspiration for me.. basically taught me almost everything i know about sikhi (i'm not sure if they want their names mentioned, so i'll keep them gupt)... about 3 years ago we moved from the GHETTO to the suburbs of Toronto (Brampton).. at this point my parents were separated, but it was a good thing, 'cause it allowed all of us to focus on our sikhi and allowed my mom to go to sangat... we were all basically happier ... Living in Brampton, where bout 80% of the population is punjabi (hehehe) we basically started a new life for ourselves... this was a HUGE thing for everybody in our family... living here there's ALWAYZ some kirtan program or sangat goin on somewhere... i slowly got into goin to gurdwara for simran and started goin to other programz in the area... also, i got to attend the Sikh camps we had here... about a year after moving i started to meet MANY chardi kalaa gursikhs living here (which i would have never met livin back there)... they helped influence me to follow my sikhi (at this point i had already broken my amrit, but was keen on goin for pesh, admitting my faults and retaking it ... i was older now and was gettin serious bout my sikhi)... i told myself i didn't wanna make the same mistake... with the help of my brothers around me, i started keepin up wit my amrit vela, attended regular kirtan programz durin the week, and got focused on my studies (which were REALLY behind before i moved here)... i cannot express HOW much the singhs around me really inspired me... gursikhs like those, man, wow... i can't express in words how grateful i am to Guru Jee for directing them towards me...

... as time went on, all i could think of was going back to Guru jee... EVERY day I would think bout taking amrit... i started reading more Bani and it was all gettin clearer to me... everything kept pointing towards Guru jee, and me taking amrit... i alwayz thought to myself... if i die tomorrow then my whole life is wasted... i tried to become more disciplined and faitful towards my Guru... in that time a few amrit sanchars had already gone by.. one thing that was really hindering me was the fact that i had a girlfriend... she was actually very positive towards me takin amrit and actually helped me in some sense... however the attachment for both of us was really hindering this step... i had way too much kaam ... after a while i told her that i would be taking amrit soon, i didn't know when but i WILL be taking it, whenever Guru jee calls me to his door... and basically we stopped everything... it was hard lettin go, but i thank her beacuse she kinda pushed me too.. she was very positive about it so that helped me out...

time went on and i couldn't wait no more... i told my mom that if i died that day then my whole life would be wasted... in July there was a Calgary sadh sangat Samagam... i actually wasn't going to go to this at first because i couldn't afford it... but somehow my ardaas was answered... i booked my ticket on a seat sale and i got a really good price that i could afford... the second i hit 'SUBMIT' on the website after purchasing my ticket i KNEW, okay this IS the sign... i knew there would be an amrit sanchar there that samagam... and i had made up my mind way before about this...

calgary samagam came and i was so nervous and scared about goin for pesh.. but i talked to some singhs who put me to ease.. they really supported me... for me it was WAY overdue.. hehe.. i thought back to the first time i took it, and for me it was like spur of the moment... it seemed like 'the thing to do'... 'cause everywhere i looked people were taking amrit, all the sangat around me was amritdhari.. i felt left out... but this time... it was a decision made by my body, mind, and soul together... Saturday July 2, 2005 i was reborn a SIKH... i thank Guru Jee with all my heart for giving me another chance... i thank all the sangat around me for being there with me... from then up until now, i have been at peace... tha day i came back home i told my mom, if i die tomorrow i'll die happy and with guru jee... tha's all i ever wanted... (being a mother she didn't wanna hear me talk about death, but she was so happy to see me happy and with Guru Jee)...

i know without Guru jee sending me to them, i'd probably be in jail, dead, or somewhere in between... without his grace, and his hand on my head, i wouldn't have got anything... i still don't even realize everything he does ... but it is a life task (seva) to devote myself to him...

that being said... i still have A LOT to learn and am far from where i should be.. and i hope i can learn a lot from all of you... i hope you can all continue to inspire and educate me... i hope i can continue to be in the sangat of chardi kalaa gursikhs... i know i must've done somethin right in one'a my previous lives to have your guyz darshan...

'Bin Bhagaa, satsang n labai.... bin sangat mail, bhareejai jeeo'

challo... SHUKAR HAI!!...

i'm sorry for writing a whole essay... hehehe... hope i didn't waste anybodys time...

Dhan Vaheguru....

bhul chuk maaf...

Vaheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Jee Kee Fateh..!!

Wjkk Wjkf

What can I say ... that was amazing.. and so inspirational..reading the hard times and the obstacles you faced throughout your childhood gives me sooooo much respect for you.... your a strong person with a big heart and if you were able to surpass the negative aspects of life and was able to ffollow the paths towards guru jee anyone can.. im really happy for you and may waheguru bless you with more happiness everyday

Take Care

Fateh

Sandeep d_oh.gif

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