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Hate And No Love


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Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

Ive closed down a lot recently, and the only person i confide in is GuruJi. Ive stopped trusting people because i feel so let down by them. nobody is ever here for me except my Guru.

i even feel as if ive stopped loving. :lol: ive lost one of my parents, which was hard but thats the time i realised GuruJi is always here for me. my remaining parent i dont get along with AT ALL, and i just end up hating. no.gif

i know thats bad, and that you should love and respect your parents, because by loving and respecting them you can learn to love and respect God. but its difficult- especially if you argue a lot. i dont want to hate anyone, and i dont want to feel so shut down.

what should i do? hug.gif

sorry if ive wasted your time.

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no u have not wasted time gosh its a forum and anyone can ask for advice or just let ehir heart out.

but to be honest with u i cant imagine life without my mum, me and my dad get on but by ourselves we do argue a lot cos we got different expectations of one another as well as different interests so we will fight a lot.

but then one day i just thought hang on a minute im spending all this time arguing as soon as my mum is gone out even though i know my dad doesnt like it and its only hurting us both so why dont I....I..not my dad....but me, so I tried to make it work out.

SO u have to take the step to try to get on with the parent cos u know what we r not in this world to fight with our family, we should live happily with those that we have, we should create an environment in which we can all be happy.

U need to learn to control ur anger or maybe just little bit of frustration.

And then u can see the changes, and please do try it cos I've never got nowadays why ppl still fight for the sake of it cos thats their life down the drain and they have made someone else miserable for no reason whatsoever.

Why not just work at agreeing to disagree but then work on how to do things so that u can keep on going in the house, so decide who does what cleaning etc. Do nice things together like suggest going for walks?

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Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Indeed Guroo Jee is the only one we can trust. But we should love and respect all of Waheguroo's Creation. If you are not getting along with someone, this is because of specific feature of their or our personality. However, the Light or Jot of Waheguroo which is in us resides in them as well.

Remember it takes two persons to fight/argue. So try to see Waheguroo in them as well. Don't imagine speaking to "them", imagine speaking to that Jot of Waheguroo within them. Perhaps that may make your relations better with that person.

Just some moorakh's suggestions.

Bhul Chuk Maaf

Waheguroo

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I came across this on Waheguroo Forums

there was a mother who lived alone just with her daughter.. the mother and her daughter always got along well and the mother raised her daughter well.. but as the daughter grew more older she became rude and self-centred towards her mother.. her mother would constantly warn the daughter not to go venturing into the night with her friends and always be careful.. but the daughter had had enough and shot back telling her mother, "leave me alone it's my life".. the daughter ran away and soon became pregnant. the next few years were tough and horrible for the daughter.. she had a little girl and raised her well.. soon as the little girl began to grow and become a teenager, the daughter soon would start to constantly worry and make sure her little girl was always safe.. she would

constantly say the same thing as her mother.. do not venture late, be more careful and to the daughters astonishment, her little girl shot back the the same way as the daughter had done to her mother.. "leave me alone, i know what im doing, its my life" the daughter was overcome with pain and anguish, not because of her daughter shouting at her but realizing that was exactly how she had shouted at her mother.. she now realized how she had broken her mothers heart.. and immediately got into her car and drove to her old nieghborhood to tell her mother she loved her and how much she was sorry for causing all this pain.. when she got to her nieghborhood however, she soon saw there was a body being cremated and that it was her mother.

this is a true story... it was originally published in a newspaper by the mothers daughter so she could tell people always to respect your parents.. the story also got published in one of doctor gurbaksh singhs books and i felt that it would be really good to the akj community to read and have a post like this get published.. this story just tells us to always listen to our parents(whether it be your mother or father) because they are right and just wants what is best for us... they have gone through being a teenager and they know what it's like. now they want to help you and guide you so you should always listen to them.. one day we will be parents and also want whats best for our children.. VJKK VJKF

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nice post 'kaur1978' bhenji ..

but i would have to say that NOT ALWAyS is parents advice the "RIGHT" one ..

why?

in this story you gave .. the parents were right..

other cases such as one that is new in the gupt section.. parents trying to get their daughter married off to a mona .. nonamritdhari .. wher etheir daughter is amritdhari and on the path of sikhi .. parents are rite ? .. NOPE

parents trying to get you married in caste .. and dont believe that the other caste is in lines of their own caste.. hence believing in only their own .. parents are rite .. NOPE !!

there are limits.. these are just two examples.. wher there can be 10's 100's more scenerios where parents can be wrong.. how can we know ?

read bani .. do what ur a sikh would do .. do what guru ji would do in a scenerio put before u ..

bhul chuk maph ..

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Ive closed down a lot recently, and the only person i confide in is GuruJi. Ive stopped trusting people because i feel so let down by them. nobody is ever here for me except my Guru.

i even feel as if ive stopped loving.  ive lost one of my parents, which was hard but thats the time i realised GuruJi is always here for me. my remaining parent i dont get along with AT ALL, and i just end up hating. 

i know thats bad, and that you should love and respect your parents, because by loving and respecting them you can learn to love and respect God. but its difficult- especially if you argue a lot. i dont want to hate anyone, and i dont want to feel so shut down.

what should i do?

sorry if ive wasted your time.

This sounds so familiar...if I wasn't 100% sure that it wasn't me who posted this, id be confused, coz i feel as though im going through almost the exact same situation at the moment!! However, I havn't lost a parent, guru's kirpa.

Bhaji/bhenji, u are right that the only one here for us is Guru Sahib, so try ardaas...ask for help to manage situations, help to accept Guru's Hukam no matter what he throws at us, help to accept whatever the beliefs and opinions of others are (including parents!!).

Sometimes Guru Sahib just sends other people to help us for what feels like such a short time, and then, He takes them away and we feel so let down, so alone. But if we do ardaas, more paat, more simran etc, we can get over things! It's just a matter of faith in Guru Sahib - as faith increases, worries and problems decrease. I refuse to talk to people about my problems now, especially since i was blessed with amrit, but I don't know if that's really the best thing to do. I've found that sometimes if I do ardaas, that day a gursikh just comes up and asks "u look a bit upset, is everything ok?" and if i tell them, they help so much. But I know I mustn't get reliant on other people, so I only do this if im very upset......

One bani that iv personally found amazing is sukhmani sahib....even if u dont do much paat regularly, start with one astpadhi a day or even just one eighth of an astpadi (sos, i don't know what that's called...a stanza maybe?). But make sure u can understand the meanings, coz it is such a powerful bani!!

I have typed for too long now and it's probably all a load of rubbish, but please feel free to correct all my mistakes!

I hope everything works out for u jee

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thankyou for all the help! blush.gif ill definately do sukhmani sahib and ardaas. i do some baniaa in the morning but i find it very difficult to concentrate. my mind wanders a lot and i end up thinking about what im going to be doing today, and then i just get angry at myself for not being able to control my thoughts. how can i help stay focused?

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