Life After Death For My Baby!

[misskaur]

SSA all brothers and sisters

As you can see from the title here, it's a sad entry, but I need answers to these questions! I wasn't sure where to go or who to ask..right now my parents are too emotional and upset to speak and I don't feel right bombarding them with these questions, although i know they would be happy to answer..maybe all in good time....

I had a baby girl who was born sleeping (still born)! As you can imagine I am totally devestated and finding it difficult to cope. Her funeral is on Dec 1st, now the questions start here..

I was told by the hospital that they will arrange the funeral, i know as a Sikh we must be creamated, but the hospital contacted a gyani at the local gudwara who said because she is still born, upto a certain age a baby can be buried..what does everyone think?

I know she is with god, but for how long?

Does she have to pass a time to stay in heaven?

Will she get older, like year by year or will she stay a baby?

Will she come back to me?

Will she be watching me?

Will she be with my family, who have passed?

Some of thses questions sound silly, but I have never known or asked about what we believe about life after death.... please someone help me..i want to do this the proper sikh way and need to know what we should believe! I really hope somebody will help!

Thank you in advance.

WJKK WJKF

[namg1]

vaheguru..am sorry to hear. life after death..well.. if gursikhs have done a lot of kamai they will emerge into vaheguru..which some people might call heaven but in sikhi ther is no such thing as heaven. we emerge into vaheguru which is our ultimate goal as being sikhs. OR if you have less kamai and maybe done some bad actions in your past life you go through 8.4 million lives then have the oppertunity of being a human again. As humans, Guru jee has given us a chance to meet guru jee! and very rare people use this chance to their advantage. only guru jee knows where your child is and has gone. Guru jee always does whats right so dont worry she is in PERFECT hands. it depends on her kamai. She maybe watching over you..it depends where she has gone. when we die we do recarnate. its not like christians believe when u die.. u become an angel or wateva. as for the funeral i think you should cremate the body as the body is worthless spiritually..its ones soul that goes with you to the hereafter. The body is just a shell. When we die we do not stay in the same body..we are not related to the same people. our soul has no image or no relatives. soul is a soul. Thats the most important thing that we have to relise whatever we have here on earth is not to value in the divine court. sorry if i have sed anythin wrong. i hope i helped! read the shabad it might help..i'll post some more gurbani quotes.

This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Raag Soohee on Pannaa 749

sUhI mhlw 5 ]

soohee mehalaa 5 ||

Soohee, Fifth Mehl:

ijs ky isr aUpir qUM suAwmI so duKu kYsw pwvY ]

jis kae sir oopar thoo(n) suaamee so dhukh kaisaa paavai ||

When You stand over our heads, O Lord and Master, how can we suffer in pain?

boil n jwxY mwieAw mid mwqw mrxw cIiq n AwvY ]1]

bol n jaanai maaeiaa madh maathaa maranaa cheeth n aavai ||1||

The mortal being does not know how to chant Your Name - he is intoxicated with the wine of Maya, and the thought of death does not even enter his mind. ||1||

myry rwm rwie qUM sMqw kw sMq qyry ]

maerae raam raae thoo(n) sa(n)thaa kaa sa(n)th thaerae ||

O my Sovereign Lord, You belong to the Saints, and the Saints belong to You.

qyry syvk kau Bau ikCu nwhI jmu nhI AwvY nyry ]1] rhwau ]

thaerae saevak ko bho kishh naahee jam nehee aavai naerae ||1|| rehaao ||

Your servant is not afraid of anything; the Messenger of Death cannot even approach him. ||1||Pause||

jo qyrY rMig rwqy suAwmI iqn@ kw jnm mrx duKu nwsw ]

jo thaerai ra(n)g raathae suaamee thinh kaa janam maran dhukh naasaa ||

Those who are attuned to Your Love, O my Lord and Master, are released from the pains of birth and death.

qyrI bKs n mytY koeI siqgur kw idlwsw ]2]

thaeree bakhas n maettai koee sathigur kaa dhilaasaa ||2||

No one can erase Your Blessings; the True Guru has given me this assurance. ||2||

nwmu iDAwiein suK Pl pwiein AwT phr AwrwDih ]

naam dhhiaaein sukh fal paaein aat(h) pehar aaraadhhehi ||

Those who meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, obtain the fruits of peace. Twenty-four hours a day, they worship and adore You.

qyrI srix qyrY BrvwsY pMc dust lY swDih ]3]

thaeree saran thaerai bharavaasai pa(n)ch dhusatt lai saadhhehi ||3||

In Your Sanctuary, with Your Support, they subdue the five villains. ||3||

[UntitledSingh]

I am very sorry to hear this sister, but like namg1 said "she is in PERFECT hands" dont worry sister.

"Just as the ocean releases a wave out to shore, God releases souls on Earth, and just that wave falls back in to the ocean, the souls merge back into God."

Weather you decide to bury or cremate, you must remember sis your daughter has already gone, only her body remains.(I realized from experience that it is more comforting to refer to her or him as (her body) or (his body).

"Up there" with Akal Purakh there is no such thing as age, because the soul lives on, only the body has an age.

When it comes to life after death/ reincarnation/ heaven/hell Gurbani uses metaphors, Gurubani's message is to focus on this life, and please dont think that God made a mistake "He" can never make mistakes, it was just "his" will.

I know you have so many questions about your daughter but nobody down here will have the answers, only God does. But down worry sis you daughter is in PERFECT hands.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Vaheguru Ji Ke Fateh

[Guest [TheSim]]

Hey, very sorry to hear your loss and i can feel how what you might be going throug right now.

As for your questions

hukamai a(n)dhar ja(n)miaa piaarae oodhho sir kai bhaar ||

By His Command, we are born, O Beloved, head-first, and upside-down.

------

By Your Will, we are born, and by Your Will, we die. ||2||

Also i cant find it, but in the Gurbani it says something around the lines of "We Recite Waheguru in the Womb, and Thus we are born, after we are born we attach to wordily things.." etc..

So, We depart due to Waheguru's will and we Live due to Waheguru's will. As for the Life After Death, etc. I believe the child, and supposedly your other family members are together as of now, If they recited the Naam in the lives, and were preferably Gursikhs. As for the child, It is also there with Waheguro today.

[Akaali]

My condolences are with you.

jo AwieAw so clsI Amru su guru krqwru ]

Whoever comes must also go. Only the Guru and the Creator are Eternal.

The only real solution according to this instance can be linked to karma.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The death of a newborn baby has to do with the baby's karma (past deeds). We beleive in reincarnation. Being reincarnated as many different types of species, close to 8.4 million, according to one's past good and bad deeds. And once the account of good/bad deeds (karma) have been cleared according to the law of karma, the soul merges with the immortal soul (God).

Some are given a number of years, months, days, hours, minutes, or seconds according to their karma and then fall back in the cycle of reincarnation again.

nwnk hukmI Awvhu jwhu ]20]

naanak hukamee aavahu jaahu ||20||

O Nanak, by the Hukam of God's Command, we come and go in reincarnation. ||20||

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HEAVEN AND HELL

1. Many people believe that the concept of heaven and hell is only imaginary and was used by the prophets for enlightening purposes only. They stress that heaven and hell exist only in this world and there are no other divisions above in the skies.

2. The Sikh thought, however, mentions the existence of heaven and hell both in this world and in the upper realms.

3. In the upper realms the heaven and the hell are two different areas which are strictly guarded and there is no movement of the souls between the two. The hell is like worldly prisons, where the souls are subject to various degree of punishments. The heaven, on the other hand is like the Garden of Eden, wherein flows the streams of milk and honey, there are tress of all sort of fruits and all around there is happiness, contentment and satisfaction.

4. The heaven has many tiers. On the uppermost tier lives God himself, this tier is called Sach Khand. This is the capital of all creation. From this grand centre of music and light, and power and life , Waheguru - the Supreme God , creates, governs and sustains all divisions. The second tier is reserved for prophets, at the third tier live the saints and holy men and next to them live the noble and blessed souls. There are other tiers where souls stay for a short period before being transferred to other tiers.

5. But in this world the heaven and hell are not divided into compartments or areas. Here, like a moving train, our lives go through the passages of both heaven and hell. Some trains have longer stay at stations designated as hell (when one is going through sufferings and pain) rather than other trains. But all trains pass through these two terrains. The time period of stay at different stations depend on the Karmas of both previous lives and this life and the qualified period of meditation in all the lives.

THE MUKTI (LIBERATION):

1. The word Mukti means freedom of soul from transmigration. It refers to living in peace and comfort, in the regions next to saints and prophets and ultimately having access to visit the abode of God.

2. According to the Sikh philosophy, a soul emerges from God and after completing the circles of life and death and after consuming the unsettled Karma, it re-merges in God and stays there until the next divine assignment. Before finally merging with God the souls pass through various forms of lives according to their worldly karmas.

3. During the long, hard and arduous journey of living in this universe and various sub-regions, the soul encounters countless sufferings and pains, trying to make its way to re-merge in God. The body is only a temporary abode for the soul. Different regions have different types of shells to store the soul. All these shells are mortal whereas the soul is immortal.

4. The human life is the principal `karam bhoomi` (action ground) where a person gets a chance to work for `Mukti` to finally get rid of all the sufferings and sorrows.

I'm sorry if I wrote a long post but didn't make any sense. Bhul chuk muaf.

[Singh132]

Bhainjee,

Your baby was sent into your womb due to karma and it was karma that it had such a short life. It had to fulfil whatever karma was written for it and then once it had done so, it left.

The fate of the baby is entirely up to Vahiguru, but Vahiguru is merciful and being the father of all of us, will only do what is best for that soul.

I don't think the baby will age. It will be born again and continue its journey to merge with Vahiguru. It may or may not come back to you, that is up to God as well.

As for the burying, Sikhs generally cremate, but there is nothing wrong with burying the body either. If you prefer cremation though, then I suggest you let the hospital know.

In times like this it is important to remember that everything that is happening is happening according to God's will and is not random. How he wishes, it is happening, so while it may be difficult, whatever has happened has happend for the best.

[UntitledSingh]

nwnk hukmI Awvhu jwhu ]20]

naanak hukamee aavahu jaahu ||20||

O Nanak, by the Hukam of God's Command, we come and go in reincarnation. ||20||

136121[/snapback]

I am sorry Khalsa Ji but I think that is a translation error, it says "Oh Nanank, by God's Command, we come and go"

I completly respect your views on reincarnation and Heaven/Hell but my view is that the Guru used it in a metaphorical mannar. I believe that Gurbani doesn't want us to worry about the past or the future but focus on this life, and not do good to get into heaven but for the sake of good. I believe that when refering to for an ex. the 8.4 million reincarnations the Guru used exaggeration as a metaphor to show how it is very important to live a good life, or you will regret it. I mean why not 8.5 or 10. Khalsa please dont get me wrong I completly respect your views and have no intention to change them, but I just want to put my view out there as well.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Vaheguru Ji Ke Fateh

[kurtas]

Sorry to hear about that.

The same thing happened to a relative of mine in the 1980s. The baby was buried.

[TeraRoop11]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

May Guru Ji Maharaj bless you and your family, Bhaenji, with the strength to accept this as god's will.. what He does, He does knowingly - He does what is best for us, His children.

I'm a murakh, nothing I can say can compare to what has been said above.. but me and a Veerji were talking about just this the other day, of stillborn children, and how the soul never got Amrit, etc. etc.. lekin we've also been taught that when the soul is still in the mother's womb, it does Bhagti. Undisturbed Bhagti, and the soul is as of yet pure, unaffected by Maaya..

Isn't it a major possiblity that the soul of Bhaenji's child received mukti while within the womb.. so there was no need to live out a human life on earth?

I am most probably completely wrong, and it is sort of off-topic. forgive me.

As for her body - I think her body should be cremated.

Waheguru Ji Maharaj Tuhaada beant shukkar hai..

bhull chuk maaf

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

[jagjit_waheguru]

waheguru ji kekhalsa, waheguru ji ke fateh

Pyare jio, I am sorry for your loss. I have just had a baby girl only a few months old. It is so easy to get attached to a child...

Your questions:

I was told by the hospital that they will arrange the funeral, i know as a Sikh we must be creamated, but the hospital contacted a gyani at the local gudwara who said because she is still born, upto a certain age a baby can be buried..what does everyone think?

Sikhs are cremated because we do not give importance to the body with is a vessel only to a soul. The soul has already left. Ideally cremate, or your parents allow, allow the body to help other young children who may be somehow lacking. Itis your choice.

I know she is with god, but for how long?

She always was with God, and always will be. She came to do 9 months of kamai in your womb. All souls slowly work their way to Sachkhand.

Does she have to pass a time to stay in heaven? Will she get older, like year by year or will she stay a baby?

Only a vessel has age. A soul has no size or age. it is like a spirit. Our spirit form goes to Akaal. When you pass away, you also will go as a soul, not as a young adult.

Will she come back to me?

All souls are interlinked. If her next life, or your next live, I am sure you will be interlinked again.

Will she be watching me?

God watches over everyone. She as a soul will be interlinked to you, but only souls that merge with God, by breaking through the cycle of life and death watch over people. Be assured, she is in a far batter place than all of us. For that we should never be unhappy.

Will she be with my family, who have passed?

All souls are interlinked. The world beyond is not like Earth. No one is left alone, no one is lonely, and no one is unhappy.

It is very easy saying we should not be unhappy or less attached. Grieving is a natural process. Let me just share with you a story. There is a very Spiritual Gursikh in India called Puran ji. I am not sure what his real name is , but Bhai sahib Randhir Singh called him Puran when they met, and that name has stuck with him since. Puran means someone who has complete spirituality. He had two sons, who had just been engaged to marry. Both were very special Gursikhs.

One day coming back from a keertan smagam, both were involved in an accident. There motorbike was hit and they both died. Bhai Puran Singh was coming in a car behind with other Gursikhs. They saw the accident, and saw the bodies covered in white sheets. They did not know who they bodies were. Out of compassion, Bhai sahib got out of thier car, and did ardas for the deceased. Only when they got home, did they realise, them two bodies were their only two boys. His wife was naturally very upset. Bhai sahib just silently went to the Sahib Siri Guru Granth sahib and said " Waheguru ji, what was yours you have taken". He did ardas.

It is easy to say, but difficult to do. Remember the child was a blessing for Waheguru. Now that is where the child has gone. The child was perfect when it came, and has gone back perfect with 9 months of Spiritual meditation in your womb. The child has gone to Waheguru in an amazing spiritual form. Please do not be sad, but be happy that they child was so blessed. In the next days, just do ardas for that soul, and for those around you. Try and maintain a state of Sehaj ( poise) and be strong for those around you.

Nothing bad has happened to that child. It is in a far better place than any of us.

You will have another child. There is no reason, why the same soul does not come back. Everything is in the hands of Waheguru.....

waheguru ji ke khalsa, waheguru ji ke fateh