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Death And Tears


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wahegurooo jee ka khalsa wahegurooo jee ji fateh

jus a q, i heard that when a person dies and another person cries for them this is not good cos the tears become a ocean for that other person to cross. But i dnt understand this cos how can the dead person stop this, its nt his/her fault that the loved one is crying so y do they have to suffer

bhull chukk muaff

wahegurooo jee ka khalsa wahegurooo jee ji fateh

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VJKK VJKF

Aw, Stay Strong.

Here's a similar topic about a loved one:

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?showtopic=12942&hl=

Here's also my post:

WJKK WJKF

Penji, marriage is such a sensitive issue; this can be solved through the family.

You have to tell your parents how you feel about this dude before you do get married. You have to put your foot down, because what if it doesn’t work out? This may well end in divorce - and that will smother your families’ reputation, and we all know how much our parents value status.

About your cousin, this is definitely a sensitive issue. Ill tell you how I coped when me gran past away, and maybe you'll find strength in there.

I think I was about 12 or so, and I walked into the hospital, and walked into her room that she was in, and I saw all my cousins there as well. I didn’t realize why everyone was so sad, I mean, I was thinking "wow all my cousins are here, it’s gonna be fun!"

Until I actually saw her, I felt the real blow. I started to cry, but me mom held me back.

When we came home, me mom told me that “you shouldn’t cry, if you cry you’re stopping her from crossing the bridge towards Sachkhand, the more you cry, the more she'll be held back". "So, stop crying, and do paath, do alot of simran, and help her to cross that bridge". After she said that, she said, "Don’t hold her back".

So, my advice is, talk to your parents, don’t leave it, pick up the courage, be the princess you are.

About your sister, don’t hold her back.

You can talk to me about this if u want, just PM me first, it'll make ADMIN happy lol.

God bless u, I hope you find your strength

Hope I helped. Take care.

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Ok that post just confused me. Personally I would say it’s not good to hold back tears although at same time one need to refer to guroo mahraj.

"?" Jee (weird calling a ? jee, but anyhow), What you have stated makes no sense to me. Anyone who believes in that should refer it to gurbani and present it.

As far as I am concerned it has no relvence with Sikhi and Gurbani. Tears are natural for manmukhs such as me who become entangled in maya and attachment of loved family ones therefore it is natural to cry. Cry doesn’t and wouldn’t have an effect on anyone else. We come in to this world ad leave alone we will not take anything except the deeps and kamai if any we have erned.

We take with us only the action deeds we commit and the tapasya we do, (meditation, pat, etc) for Akal purkh to meet the purpose of our like. We will each be judged individually on our actions in the court of God. Your cry will not affect the loved one you have lost.

Loosing a loved one I would says get together with family do paath, mool mantar and simran. Put on a calming simran CD or something and dim light what ever helps you. Does ardaas guroo sahib will help you to get through this difficult period.

Guroo Anng Sang

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wahegurooo jee ka khalsa wahegurooo jee ji fateh

jus a q, i heard that when a person dies and another person cries for them this is not good cos the tears become a ocean for that other person to cross. But i dnt understand this cos how can the dead person stop this, its nt his/her fault that the loved one is crying so y do they have to suffer

bhull chukk muaff

wahegurooo jee ka khalsa wahegurooo jee ji fateh

144705[/snapback]

good post rsingh.

Here is how I undersand it. The Ocean which the soul is gona have to cross is the ocean of our attachment to that soul. If we keep calling the soul back, the amount of attachment we have towards it will also hinder its progress and will make it difficult for it to move forward. The family also needs to let go...tears in this instant simply signify the amount of attachment we have towards that individual.

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After the death of the person, you should not cry, wail or beat your chests in bereavement. The person is not to be lowered from their bed, Maharaj orders us:

Guru Amar Das Ji said that;

mq mY ipCY koeI rovsI so mY mUil n BwieAw ]

"If one cries upon my death (passing), it will not be pleasing to me."

(SGGSJ Ang 923)

If you cry after the dead, the tears that you cry become an ocean in the after-world. The tears blow out the light of the soul and the ‘path’ becomes shrouded in darkness. For this reason crying and wailing is prohibited. For the good of the deceased Gurbani Nitnem is to be recited as much as possible – with which the departed will be assisted in the after-world. Gurbani kirtan is to be recited:

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waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

i've nt myself seen in it gurbani but read it in taksali rehat maryada

phul chuk muaff

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

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After the death of the person, you should not cry, wail or beat your chests in bereavement. The person is not to be lowered from their bed, Maharaj orders us:

Guru Amar Das Ji said that;

mq mY ipCY koeI rovsI so mY mUil n BwieAw ]

"If one cries upon my death (passing), it will not be pleasing to me."

(SGGSJ Ang 923)

If you cry after the dead, the tears that you cry become an ocean in the after-world. The tears blow out the light of the soul and the ‘path’ becomes shrouded in darkness. For this reason crying and wailing is prohibited. For the good of the deceased Gurbani Nitnem is to be recited as much as possible – with which the departed will be assisted in the after-world. Gurbani kirtan is to be recited:

145329[/snapback]

a ocean for u or the deceased u are crying for??

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Where it says "

If you cry after the dead, the tears that you cry become an ocean in the after-world. "

You can't really judge this, you should read the actual maryada which is not in English. This is only an English translation, and you might be taking it literally when it was not meant in a completely literal way but could be a symbolic example of WHY attachment/crying for a deceased person can hold their soul back or make the soul's journey much more difficult.

We can't just read the English translation of something and interpret it for face value, this is our fault, especially us westernized Sikhs, we should try to look at the Punjabi / Gurmukhee version FIRST, before assuming something literally...

In addition dear bhanji, for these kinds of questions sometimes it's better to go to uchee avastha gursikhs, no offense to anyone on this board cause i'm sure you all read your Bani and whatever, definitely more than ME I know.. But what you read in the Gurmat Maryada of DamDami Taksal or other 'Maryadas' written by such elevated Brahm Gianis or Sants, cannot be challenged or questioned openly on forums, in fact it should be looked at after reciting Bani and doing Abhiyaas / simran... These Mahapursh kinds of people came to conclusions that were written in rehat because their avasthas were so high, they had Guru Sahib ji with them 24/7, and could see Guru Ji with them 24/7. Such maryada is relayed from Guru Ji, and we shouldn't dwell on the truth/non-truth of something said by someone we KNOW to be a Mahapursh...

God Bless

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holding back tears will have no point to it, if u feel like letting them out, just do it

but we should remember that we should be working towards living within akaal purkh's bhanna, so ideally we should not even feel like crying.......try working towards realizing the hukam.

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