In Despair

[Mehtab Singh]

Wow nice feet. Let me touch my forehead to my screen!    :WW:

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...you do know that ur guna go to hell with me, cause thats where im headed .....completely UnWorthy!

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is that the reason why they say "Ladies first" ?

juz kidding sis

nah u aint going to hell

only those who wax themselves go there

ok im messing again

im so bad (6)

[Guest .*.]

Dear all,

Before you read this please do not just tar it with the same brush and say go and do a search on the subject, I really want you to try and understand my situation

I am 25 year old amritdhari woman and I am in despair over my facial hair, to set the record straight I would like to point out that it is not your ‘average’ amount of rom as in the soft hair that covers our bodies from head to toe, my facial hair is thick and coarse and ranges from 3-4cm the shortest to about 6-7 cm the longest. I have recently completed my masters degree at university with a good result and now I am looking for work after having several interviews I have been tuned down for posts and I put it down to the way I look. My parents are also distraught because I have had no marriage offers and they themselves don’t know where to start finding me a husband because of the way I look. It is a harsh reality but looks do affect the way people behave around us. I am so depressed and I hardly go out no more, maybe once every few days to the local Gurdwara but even then I don’t go when I know there will be a lot of sangat. I keep myself to myself and you can forget about socialising. I feel so hideous and hurt and I am so afraid. My parents have suggested I go to India to get married but I thought to myself that by going to India I am just going to end up marrying someone who is marrying me not for me but just for the sake of coming abroad.

I cannot wear a dastaar in fear of being mistaken for a man; once in the women’s changing quarters I heard a girl say to her friend “what’s he doing in here?”because she genuinely thought i was a man and it hurt so much, now you can sit there saying “bhenji be strong” but you just don’t know how hard it is!

I am so badly in despair that there are days that I contemplate giving everything up, I mean what is the point if all I am doing is being an extra pressure on my parents, I can’t get a job, I cant get a husband, what kind of future do I have? I am strict in other parts of my rehat with my daily banis and things, I have no problem with hair on my body as it is covered at all times, even my eyebrows are fine, it is just the hair on my chin and face at it’s worst ( if I can say that). I have had hormonal problems as I was going through puberty and my doc told me to go on the pill but after a while I stopped taking it as I learned it could have other side effects. I feel confused as to why I have to put up with it, I ask myself would my Guru want me to feel bad about myself but at the same time I know people are going to say God gave you that hair, and yes, yes He did, but did He want me to look grossly hideous and have such difficulties arise in life or did He also give me the free will to do something about it? Like if a woman was raped she would have the choice to abort the baby; or someone was disabled in such a way that by operation they could be better. I have learned why hair on the head, legs, and other body areas is important but why is the hair on a face of a woman important? If this question could be answered well it would make me think a few things over. For now I am seriously considering giving up, leaving home and moving away from my parents so as to not have them worry about me.

Can anyone please help?

And if all you are going to do is post guidelines from rehat maryadas and tell me to be strong then please don’t waste your time, they never covered the topic of “abnormal hair growth” in my amrit sanchaar so views on that would be better acknowledged

Thank you

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VAHEGUROO JI KA KHALSA VAHEGUROO JI KI FATEH

MY penji,your strength .. ..

Penji,you seem to know deep down wht the rite answer is..as u have posted this on a sikhi forum..i think like the others have mentioned you need do gather some more inner strength i.e simran japji sahib,chaupai sahib as im sure u know

thank you so much for the replies Sangat ji, for now i feel more content

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And penji,please do not hesitate to come back,if help is needed,the sangat is always here for you

Vaheguroo Bless You sis

Your a True Kaur

AND PROUD TO BE SINGHNI PENJI

you are just that,proud to be singhni..

Vaheguroo Bless You

[proud_to_be_singhni]

awwwwwwwwwwww.....thanx soo much .*. ....

feels as if Guru ji just gave me a big hug!

yeh and to penji...we're always here for you....call on us any time...

Singhni's Will Always Be There Always For Their Singhni Sisters

[Simran9]

lolz look at our courageous proud to be singhni penji !

i'm for pro-hair advice, because guru ji has said it in his bani that with every hair on your body meditate on waheguru...and when i last checked my face was a part of my body.

[Simran9]

on second thought...

we ought to have more singhnis come out in the open like this. theres so many of us with facial hair. each girl thinks her "problem" is the worst. but when its out in the open like proud to be singhni has done, then you know you're not alone.

[Sinner]

VJKK VJKF

waxing is the best solution. surely facial hair is not worth your happiness. like u said what about your future, your marriage.

you wouldnt want to be second guessing yourself with your partner.

whether we like it or not, it is a superficial world. we get judged everyday.

____________________________________________________________________

what the heck are you talking about...that is some extreme manmat advice there, wax? WAX!?! you want your sister to get maha beatings for doing beadbi of guru jis saroop

Now your problem is the facial hair > it bugs u like mad, so what could the solution be >>> you want to look and most importantly feel beautiful >>> This because one is attached to his or her body >>> but as this is ur wish u are not gonna feel complete until it is complete so my humble advice to you is do a ardaas infront of guru ji asking for your "wish" and comence in naam bhagti, add about 10 jap ji sahibs to your nitnem and another 5 anand sahibs to help keep you happy.

from my view you are in a fortunate position, you have no job and no marriage which means you have no worldy worries; at this time guru sahib "maybe" trying to tell you it is your time to imbue your self in naam.

please forgive me if ive said anything worng.

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Nice reply!! :TH:

[Heera Singh]

sis i feel for you I can understand the kind of pressure you are under... and I mite get critised for this but I believe you shud take off hair that is affecting you and making you feel bad.

When guru ji started the khalsa I believe he did not ask women to try and be like men... hence the titles Kaur (princess) and Singh (lion) no where were women required to keep hair but feminists in Sikhism have taken things too far wanting to be like men this is stupidness in my view. women shud be women and shud beautify themselves so that they attract a partner after you have a loving partner then you can do what you want.

Its hard as it is for Sikh males with full kesh to form relationships with women and get jobs in society so it must be more harder on sisters like you.

Thats my views sorry if i offended any1 with my views

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by far the stupidest reply i've seen... you obviously don't know the first thing about sikhi... first learn about sikhi then you can reply about 'what Guru Ji asked or men and women' when he started the Khalsa..

[Mehtab Singh]

sis i feel for you I can understand the kind of pressure you are under

We all are under loads of atmospheric pressure and loads of other pressures that I better not mention.

and I mite get critised for this

I am in the process...

but I believe you shud take off hair that is affecting you and making you feel bad.

so if a kurri has "jooaan" she should become "ganjee" ?

When guru ji started the khalsa I believe he did not ask women to try and be like men

Women hardly used to go to war. Gurujee encouraged women to go to war when needed. He gave both the same kakaars as well.

no where were women required to keep hair

Thats what I asked...ganjee ho jaawe ?

feminists in Sikhism have taken things too far wanting to be like men

Feel proud that Sikhi has feminists, unlike some other faiths where women are considerd slaves to men.

this is stupidness in my view.

The word is "stupidity". Using stupidness instead of stupidity is stupidity in my view.

women shud be women and shud beautify themselves so that they attract a partner

Now where and when did Gurujee ask Singhniyaan to be led by kaam? You can't just give your own opinions and call them "Gurujee said so".

after you have a loving partner then you can do what you want.

I repeat...You can't just give your own opinions and call them "Gurujee said so".

Its hard as it is for Sikh males with full kesh to form relationships with women and get jobs in society so it must be more harder on sisters like you.

What kind of relationships you referring to? Short term fooling around relations? one night stands? Singhs/Singhniyaan give a dam bout those!

Thats my views sorry if i offended any1 with my views

Its ok...I defended as well...

[proud_to_be_singhni]

I was about to reply to this paji..... but Mehtab Pajee (take a bow) youve already answered evrything with such pyar..lol.

Only thing I will add is Khalsa Mero Roop Ha Khaas khalsa Meh Huan Karo Niwaas

Guru Ji would never say that without meaning it..and then say chalo chalo koi naa (never mind) ladies you do what you want..don't be like me!?! See the word/shabad 'khaas' (special, different, distinct)...means we are not meant to look like everyone around us, the day you do look like others.....Think, I'm no longer the Khalsa Guru ji wanted me to be. When people stare at you with awe, respect, shock, questions, even horribly......Then realise>> I am the Khalsa! Vahegurooooo...!

Bhul maafs..

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

y not bleach ur hair penji?