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Need Help With Relationship


Guest Sikh Lad
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Guest Sikh Lad

ssa, hi.. Im a 20+ lad from Sikh backgound in the UK. I cut my hair and have drunk in the past,etc. I am not very religious at the moment but maybe later life i will be.

I'm in serious relationship with a muslim girl, who is Indian gujjirati....

I luv this girl and want to marry her the only problems we are different ethnicities and reiligion i'm not willing to compramise my religion as i believe it teaches the best values I know from any religion.

I want to help that can make my girlfriend learn more about Sikhism but just simple stuff nothing heavy.

Can anyone tell me what I said say to her that can persaude her to embrace sikhism or just be open minded about having a sikh wedding? :)

Any replies would be much appreciated.

Thank You

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First and foremost I'd say you both need to talk to your parents about this. Its easy to presume that "love conquers all" (the typical Bollywood doctrine) but in reality life aint a bed of roses my friend.

I luv this girl and want to marry her the only problems we are different ethnicities and reiligion i'm not willing to compramise my religion as i believe it teaches the best values I know from any religion.
Earlier you say you are not religious, but I think you are pretty religious from that part in bold :) . Its good to see a Sikh who doesn't want to make compromises with regard to Sikhi.
I want to help that can make my girlfriend learn more about Sikhism but just simple stuff nothing heavy.
You can start out with encouraging her to read english translations of Japji Sahib and Sukhmani Sahib.
Can anyone tell me what I said say to her that can persaude her to embrace sikhism or just be open minded about having a sikh wedding?
Only Gurujee can bring someone towards Himself, and He does it in a variety of ways. I wouldn't say that you should try to force her in anyway. Just motivate her to learn and walk alongside with her, and then leave the rest to Gurujee.

All the best and do let us know how it goes :@

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This is something better considered before entering a relationship. But…

Tell her diplomatically as soon as possible what your TERMS are and that you are not willing to compromise those. Do not say that you are not willing to compromise your RELIGION as you currently are beyond compromising with your hair cut.

You are at your own place and that’s fine, but to present yourself as adhering to sikhi will lead to further problems. She will take little time to call you up on this. You have to ask yourself to what extent you care about the values sikhi teaches. Is it perhaps the sikhi label akin to a caste like label that is important to you? You don’t need sikhi if you simply want to emulate some values. Do you wish to learn more about islam as the girl may be thinking the exact same thing you are thinking?

If it is truly sikhi you care about, tell her you do not wish to force any of that upon her. Be honest about where you wish to be or think you may be in the future. Tell her you have made a decision and will understand whatever decision she makes. If you DO wish to force it upon her, tell her that or better yet wait because you are NOT ready for marriage. If you don’t think losing her is an option then you are not ready for marriage. Have you talked about how you will go about raising children?

Taking a true deeper interest in sikhi may help you with your own perspective toward relationships. Best of luck.

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