Depressed.

[Guest depressed_girl]

Exactly a year a go I failed a uni exam ansd ever since i've felt like a total failure. Immediately after that exam i was severely depressed for several months. I became really unsociable (didn't want to see/talk to friends). I even felt jealous of them), I used to cry for no reason at random times, I felt as though the whole world was against me. I felt as though I was the ugliest person in the world and nobody would ever want to spend their life with me (unless if i have plastic surgery which I can't yet afford). Even the thought of suicide crossed my mind, however I knew that this was wrong- Guru ji has blessed me with a life and I have no right to end it, only He has.

I didn't talk to anyone about this as there really is no-one in my life who is ready to listen. My parents are too busy, my siblings are too young and my 'friends', well they wouldn't care. In fact they didn't seem to care when i had failed, they didn't even ask me why i was so down all the time. Hence I've become quite distant from them.

After I passed my resit exam I felt as though I was over the depression. However I still get recurrent bouts of depression ie trivial things will set me off crying. For example last night my little brother was angry with me and I tried to make peace with him but it didn't work...and then i cried myself to sleep ( I know it sounds stupid). I keep thinking people are letting me down constantly and so I've stopped caring about friends etc. I've become more selfish which I don't like.

I hate myself for being so weak . How can I get out of this?

[Jo Kicch Hai So Tera Waheguru]

Exactly a year a go I failed a uni exam ansd ever since i've felt like a total failure.  Immediately after that exam i was severely depressed for several months.  I became really unsociable (didn't want to see/talk to friends). I even felt jealous of them), I used to cry for no reason at random times, I felt as though the whole world was against me.  I felt as though I was the ugliest person in the world and nobody would ever want to spend their life with me (unless if i have plastic surgery which I can't yet afford).  Even the thought of suicide crossed my mind, however I knew that this was wrong- Guru ji has blessed me with a life and I have no right to end it, only He has.

I didn't talk to anyone about this as there really is no-one in my life who is ready to listen.  My parents are too busy, my siblings are too young and my 'friends', well they wouldn't care.  In fact they didn't seem to care when i had failed, they didn't even ask me why i was so down all the time.  Hence I've become quite distant from them.

After I passed my resit exam I felt as though I was over the depression.  However I still get recurrent bouts of depression ie trivial things will set me off crying.  For example last night my little brother was angry with me and I tried to make peace with him but it didn't work...and then i cried myself to sleep ( I know it sounds stupid).  I keep thinking people are letting me down constantly and so I've stopped caring about friends etc.  I've become more selfish which I don't like.

I hate myself for being so weak .  How can I get out of this?

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WJKK WJKF Penjhi

This sounds a lot like me! I have gone thru similar spirals and still do over so many things. I don't know whether how easy it is for you to get saadh sangat at the gurdwara but do try to get this if you can. You'll feel happy sitting near your Guru. :TH:

I was listening to gurbani vichaar once and the person delivering the discourse said the most common thing we all do is feed ourselves negative thoughts all the time which are the cause of our feeling down in life. Just think about everything that guru ji has blessed you with and perhaps about those who may not have what you do. I know it is easier said that done but we all need to try.

Do ardaas infront of guru sahib and ask for advice and guidance so that guru ji may put you on the right track again. Guru ji is always prepared to listen to our happiness and pains and is your best friend. :lol:

Try to take part in sewa, simran and sangat or listen to or recite a bani.

I hope these shabads help:

iqn hI suixAw duKu suKu myrw qau ibiD nIkI KtwnI ]1]

thin hee suniaa dhukh sukh maeraa tho bidh neekee khuttaanee

He listens to my pains and pleasures, and then my condition improves. ||1||

rUpu AnrUpu moro kCu n bIcwirE pRym gihE moih hir rMg BIn ]1]

roop anuroop moro kush n beechaariou praem gehiou mohi har rung bheen

The Lord has not considered my beauty or ugliness; instead, He has held me with love. I am drenched with His Love. ||1||

I hope I've been able to help in some way :TH:

Bhul chuck maaf

Baljivan Singh

[Balwinder Kaur]

hey bhainji, take heart. you're not alone....it's probably due to stress & stress makes us act this way........however, you have to try and control these negative feelings. one way is through taking up a hobby which will help you relax & feel better about yourself. play a musical instrument, do keertan,read a novel(self-help novels are extremely wonderful for this :lol: ), always seek the sanctuary of the Lord. take a hukumnama and analyse it's translation....gurujee speaks to us and believe me, once HE speaks HIS bachan, all your sadness/depression vanishes. it's worked for me, hope it works for you too. lastly, do not let stress control your life.....generate this stress into positive energy vibes so your life becomes much happier.

P.S.: worse comes to worst, if after all methods tried have come to no avail, please consult a practitioner who can prescribe suitable drugs...don't get me wrong or take offense.i'm not trying to class you as a hopeless depression case....... we all have our bouts of low moments, but these sad feelings can also result due to chemical imbalances in our brain & sometimes as a temporary measure,drugs can help restore these imbalances so a normal life is led.

[proud_to_be_singhni]

Exactly a year a go I failed a uni exam ansd ever since i've felt like a total failure.  Immediately after that exam i was severely depressed for several months.  I became really unsociable (didn't want to see/talk to friends). I even felt jealous of them), I used to cry for no reason at random times, I felt as though the whole world was against me.  I felt as though I was the ugliest person in the world and nobody would ever want to spend their life with me (unless if i have plastic surgery which I can't yet afford).  Even the thought of suicide crossed my mind, however I knew that this was wrong- Guru ji has blessed me with a life and I have no right to end it, only He has.

I didn't talk to anyone about this as there really is no-one in my life who is ready to listen.  My parents are too busy, my siblings are too young and my 'friends', well they wouldn't care.  In fact they didn't seem to care when i had failed, they didn't even ask me why i was so down all the time.  Hence I've become quite distant from them.

After I passed my resit exam I felt as though I was over the depression.  However I still get recurrent bouts of depression ie trivial things will set me off crying.  For example last night my little brother was angry with me and I tried to make peace with him but it didn't work...and then i cried myself to sleep ( I know it sounds stupid).  I keep thinking people are letting me down constantly and so I've stopped caring about friends etc.  I've become more selfish which I don't like.

I hate myself for being so weak .  How can I get out of this?

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Penji,

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa...Vaheguru ji ki fateh

Firstly you're not weak, no daughter of Guru Sahib is. This is a tough moment in your life and believe me in some parts we've all been there, it may sound like ..oh yeh...not this bad... I understand, everyone does tend to think i have got it the worst, this is lifes ups and downs.

Youve allowed your mind to believe that you are a failure and therefore the heart has accepted it. If on the other hand you say each and every day....I Am Smart, I am going somewhere In life, I am a beuatiful preson (dont care what others think), Youre bestest friend and everyone elses too is Guru maharaj ji.

Go Gurdwara Sahib and share your thoughts with Guru JI, listen whta Guru ji is saying in the hukumnama daily....

start slowly, do just simran or seva....Penji I am sure you'll feel a lot better.

Balwinder kaur penji's advice is also right and Baljivan as well, take their advice too.

From your sis,

Amandeep Kaur Khalsa..Best Of Luck! :lol:

[heart]

Exactly a year a go I failed a uni exam ansd ever since i've felt like a total failure.  Immediately after that exam i was severely depressed for several months.  I became really unsociable (didn't want to see/talk to friends). I even felt jealous of them), I used to cry for no reason at random times, I felt as though the whole world was against me.  I felt as though I was the ugliest person in the world and nobody would ever want to spend their life with me (unless if i have plastic surgery which I can't yet afford).  Even the thought of suicide crossed my mind, however I knew that this was wrong- Guru ji has blessed me with a life and I have no right to end it, only He has.

I didn't talk to anyone about this as there really is no-one in my life who is ready to listen.  My parents are too busy, my siblings are too young and my 'friends', well they wouldn't care.  In fact they didn't seem to care when i had failed, they didn't even ask me why i was so down all the time.  Hence I've become quite distant from them.

After I passed my resit exam I felt as though I was over the depression.  However I still get recurrent bouts of depression ie trivial things will set me off crying.  For example last night my little brother was angry with me and I tried to make peace with him but it didn't work...and then i cried myself to sleep ( I know it sounds stupid).  I keep thinking people are letting me down constantly and so I've stopped caring about friends etc.  I've become more selfish which I don't like.

I hate myself for being so weak .  How can I get out of this?

155407[/snapback]

vaheguru jee ka khalsa, vaheguru jee kee fateh.

Hey Phanji! To me, Everyone 'fails' something or makes a mistake in life, and its from those mistakes that we learn how to change the outcome of our future. I can understand 'why' you felt depressed or upset about what hapened, and thats understandable for many people. BUT, the one thing that i bet you're gonna hear from a lot of people is the fact that it all happened under the command of god's will, which is hukhaam.

The only person in your life who will be ready to listen at any given time of the day will be guruji. Friends, Family, and so on are not our TRUE support, and thats something people and or sikhs realize with given time.

Selfish you are not. Phanji, you are just loooking for someone to hear you out, someone who understands you, and taht preson will be none other than guruji!

jus my 2 cents.. bhainay.. feel better ..we are all with you, and if u ever need to talk jus PM me..

Vaheguru jee ka khalsa, vaheguru jee kee fateh.

[singh-yo-dha]

Waheyguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheyguru Ji Key fateh Bhain ji

Bhain Ji as you may already know that life is full of ups and downs. Therefore it happens to everyone . Bhain ji the good thing is that with Guru Jis kirpa you have realized that you are under depression. Do not let one silly exam control your life ..Your life has higher purpose....you got your human deah after 8.4 million ja-nams. Depression happens when something goes opposite to our expectations and we tend to call it Sukh if something goes according to our expectations and DUKh if not...and we are so lucky that guru ji already has given us the medcine...Simran and walk in his Ra-za ..his will.

When I was in high school I failed maths so many times now I even can not remeber now lol . I tried to talk to my mom..my sisters....that I tried my best..or tried to share what went wrong, how i feel...but no avail.But funny thing is that life did not stop, life kept on going..it was NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.It made me a stronger person beacuse with Guru ji's grace realized that how unstable this world becomes when we make brothers, sisters, parents, School and Jobs( MAya) as our center of your life. We should make waheyguru Ji as our center of life beacuse nothing could be as stable as Waheyguru Ji..only waheyguru ji was in the beginning, is NOW and will be after. Sahib has everything..Sub-na Ga-la Sum-ra-th So-wa-me.So Key-yoh Ma-no We-sa-ray. Ka hey Nanak Mann May-ray Sa-dha Ra-ho Har Na-lay. ( your master is capable of everthing..do not forget him. Oh! Mann/mind stay with waheyguru ji)

Once, I was reading about Bhai Bachitar Singh jis Sakhi when he jabbed the Nagani ( spear like weapon)while riding on the back of the horse into the forehaed of an intoxicated elephant after taking blessing from guru ji.

Right now Bhain ji do ardas and ride the horse made up of Faith in waheyguru ji ..may Simran (remebering that waheyguru ji is omnipresent) be your Na-gani /spear and jab that Na-gani into intoxicated mind / depression...believe me depression will stand no chance.

(whenever that thought about exam comes just Say WAHEYGURU..you are every..where)

Now Cheer Up..well after reading this long lost... you might be swearing at me lol.

Waheyguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheyguru Ji key fateh.

[Mehtab Singh]

Woah! Are you my twin or what! :lol: ! Tell me! :cool: And tell me now! :cool:

Haha, just messing sis! :T: . I said that because I've been through the EXACT same situation. When I say EXACT, I mean word per word exact! I also failed a crucial exam in school ages ago, and then passed it in another try which was after a few months. Fortunately I didn't lose an year because of it. I had one bad test in my first semester in college and thats it! Those horrifying memories came back to bother me. It was during those days that I (who was then a non-Sikh) thought of going to the Gurdwara to rest my disturbed mind. The feeling of calmness I had was something out of this world.

The rest what happened is a lot to mention, and probably boring as well . By Gurujee's grace today I look like this --> :T: . So have hope, you never know what Gurujee has in store for you :e: .

On second thought, may He "mess" you up the way He "messed" me up! :nihungsmile: (chill chill...here mess means bless )

[SSM]

Just take Mehtab Singh Veerji's advice and you'll be fine.

In other words- have faith you will get over it if only we visit Guru Ji more!

[ms514]

Sat Sri Akal:

Sometimes, it also pays to look around and see how exactly blessed we are. Here we are, sitting on computers living relatively comfortable lives. We have two arms, two legs, decent health, and most important, the Guru's Word to guide us. Sure life has setbacks...but has the Almighty not been kind as well? You are getting an education...think of how many people never even get that chance.

[Guest Guest]

you should be ok now, after reading all the comments and suggestion. people do care, just give them a one chance. make friends. go out and have fun. take care.