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A Query From Us Singhnees


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interesting post bhenji .. ive been thinking about this ..

heres my take ..

everyone is soo picky .. no doubt .. but when someone comes to us wit a problem (a bhenji or a bro) .. lets take a bibi in this example .. who says she has too much facial hair ..and all the sangat are on her case to stay strong etx etx.. but yet no singh comes forth to help the bhenji like look bhenji .. heres a suitable guy for u .. cuz reli there arent any .. maybe 1 out of a 1000 .. sadly that is reality ..

second even if the singh agrees.. its the parents who are all like im not gona accept her .. cuz of her looks.. she doesnt match wit u .. shes not educated etx etx.. soo many reasons all coming from parents .. and as a guy .. respect for parents is always mentioned and they try to do it as much as they can ..

so how do you find a person whos right foryou .. sangat... ur friends.. and if your close .. ur parents.. but from a lot of my friends experience (not me ..yet) .. i have seen soo many problems for them to find that person and actually forcing them to loook in India .. where we all know is much easier to get a partner .. since either they all reli wana come to the west .. which is mostly themain reason .. but if u reli find mr./mrs perfect .. they do it to be wit a better person ..

and bhenji .. girls accept easier cuz of parents pressure and force !

i know many bhenjis that are in this scenerio .. and then i know some that are really picky themselves tongue.gif .. but lets face it .. parents are more quicker wit their daughters cuz they feel they are just 'more money to spend on' while at home .. sadly ..most think like that !

on the other hand .. i know personally that my parents would never force me .. but they will be picky .. but i will only choose one for her inside value .. not her outside.. but then again i still got a year or two before i start looking tongue.gif

bhul chuk maph .. pray.gif

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Sat Sri Akal:

Bless you Bhenji for having kept the courage and staying with Sikhi and not compromising. Yoru father and mother (Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Mata Sahib Kaur) are proud!!!! d_oh.gif

You are writing about people like me, who are still stuck in the worldly. Even though we know that the soul of Sikhi is supremely important, our worldly desires are still more powerful than Gurmat. Still subject to the worldly perceptions of beauty (you know, those 50 lb. anorexic hairless women that we are bombarded with every day in the world), we do not find the Guru's Roop, the true beauty, as the highest standard of beauty. It is our disease of the mind, transmitted by the world so many times that while we respect the strictness of Rehat a Sikh woman has, we are fooled by our flesh eyes and shun the very Guru Roop we praise.

Please do Ardaas for moorakhs like us, so that our real eyes may be opened one day and we can see in you the Guru's light. And NEVER compromise for people like me...we are idiots who do not deserve... respect.gifno.gif There is a Gursikh out there for you...one who will fully respect and admire your maintainence of the Rehat. Wait for him and do not compromise for those moorahs with minds like me--> wacko.gif

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Jaspaul pajee> why is 'picky' even an issue...if we take a look at msj's post its all abput how much do we love our sikhi. Whats the real point of talking big about sikh issues, our shaheeds, lets take this one point forward..

When I see singhs shouting and giving jaikaraas in events and camps..my mind really tunes off...why?.....

because they don't want to really know any body that is not cool..

that is not at least partly or all pretty

that is not marriage material

Forgetting the fact that giving the other person half the chance they may learn so much about them....Guru ji says dont judge......

and we judge the most....All this pajee and to anyone else reading is so sad for sikhi....and because im a recent amritdhari quite plainly distressing, which I never show or maybe doing my banis Guru ji keeps me living with my head up.

Vaheguroo bhalla karan mein hor ke kavan...what can be done.

Most likely they're be a large group of singhnees like me in the future..not married...whilst the singhs will stare and say hunn? look they arent even gristhee...who cares what they'll say??sure .....

before you ask>...would you care? and would it not even mildy depress and hurt you.

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ya i fully agree wit u bhenji .. ur in uk rite ? its as bad here in canada.. not only appearances .. but then the whole caste issues come into play EVEN if one does find a suitable match .. its reli soo sad ..

how can it be fixed ?

it has to start wit each and every individual person and fix it in ur own house ..

like i know when it comes down to me and my sisters .. i will full support the choice of my sisters and make sure they are happy and not forced into anything ..

and what i meant about picky (sorry for not being clear) .. is its the sad plain truth about sikhs ! I know i am picky .. in a sense that i want a bibi that will help me progress my sikhi and not bring it down (likewise for the bibi)! in that sense i am picky .. but even moorakhs like me fall intraps of maya and the 5 evils.... its society around u s.. guru sahib made it so simple but yet we wana live how everyone around us wants us to live .. no.gif

challo .. guru sahib maher karn .. pray.gif

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oops  blush.gif

157668[/snapback]

I was in india an year back and in US where ever u go the probelms are the same..

the thing is that thr r a very few TRUE Gursikhs..

who understand thr GURU and know exactly why they r here..

many people just have sikhi saroop and have long beards bcoz they have been brought up in that kinda family and not because they have understood guru and know whats the meaning of sikhi saroop..

sad but true many of the amritdahri sikhs i know have jeevan sathis who r not at all into sikhi and reasons of marriage are only skin deep..

my only suggestion here is to keep the faith and everything will turn out as planned for you by Guru ji..

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I agree there are not many Gursikhs around in reality. As has been stated we are not all perfect. We are all learning and hopefully all doing our best to try become better Gursikhs and keep our rehats. The ideal Gursikh doesnt exist. Everybody has faults.

Be careful of the bf/gf thing. Too many of us are taking the 'getting to know eachother thing' toooo far. Have faith in your Guru. Take a risk/chance. No need to get too close.

Maybe its time to bring back arranged marriages in there true form!!

Our parents have made it work.

But maybe i am a pindu and backwards.

Remember staying in Hukam is what goes with us, so face whatever comes your way.

Life is not easy, and marriage is one of the challenges. Most of us have easy lives and live sheltered lives and struggle when challenged.

Sorry i'll stop as going off topic now.

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arranged marriages ?

i agree wit those if its a mutual thing ..

do u know veerji how it was done in the old days ? guys had their say but women were basically FORCED .. i dont think i wana have that .. we are slowly getting out of that stage but still in this generation its still present..

if its a arranged marriage.. has to be mutual .. both guy/girl opinion needed.. no force watsoever .. and no caste .. both into sikhi .. both will help each other wit their sikhi .. they will always remember that above all is guru sahib and then them/family.. THEN its the perfect marriage!

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arranged marriages ?

i agree wit those if its a mutual thing ..

do u know veerji how it was done in the old days ? guys had their say but women were basically FORCED .. i dont think i wana have that .. we are slowly getting out of that stage but still in this generation its still present..

if its a arranged marriage.. has to be mutual .. both guy/girl opinion needed.. no force watsoever .. and no caste .. both into sikhi .. both will help each other wit their sikhi .. they will always remember that above all is guru sahib and then them/family.. THEN its the perfect marriage!

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i couldn't agree more. he summed up all i wanted to say about arranged marriages. also to the bhainjee who started this post, dont worry if you're rejected on skin-deep issues. coz even if you got married to him, ultimately in the long term(god forbid though), there'll be problems in the marriage coz they dont know what makes a good marriage work....like the saying goes, better single than unhappy hunna?? tongue.gif in addition, one comes across many shells along the wayside whilst searching before the diamond is found. be patient, keep the faith and you'll find your diamond singh. who you were destined to marry (or not) was written on your forehead the day you took birth here on earth, just let your destiny unfurl itself. good luck :wub:

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in addition, one comes across many shells along the wayside whilst searching before the diamond is found. be patient, keep the faith and you'll find your diamond singh. who you were destined to marry (or not) was written on your forehead the day you took birth here on earth, just let your destiny unfurl itself. good luck

Balwinder Kaur Bhenjee is spot on :TH:

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