A Query From Us Singhnees

[Heera Singh]

Yeh, it can work... but there's certain situations where there is no compromise... for example... if a singh believes in dastar, and a bibi doesn't, and she refuses to wear one, then that mite put them in a tite situation... 'cause neither mite be willin to compromise their belief... then there's other issues such as being sarbloh bibeki or raag maala or even the amrit vela routine... sometimes small things (as well as big things) can make or break a situation...

no 2 situations are the same, and each one may have a different outcome...

in the situation above where the bibi believed in keski, it doesn't make much of a diff (i don't think) because the singh is already wearing a dastaar, and obviously he doesn't mind dastaar on bibian if he married a dastaar-walee bibi... and i'm sure he wouldn't mind his kids wearing dastaars either.... but if the roles were switched, then it mite become a big issue...

what do u guyz think?

[Balwinder Kaur]

makes sense......

[Heera Singh]

so.. basically.. what i'm gettin at... if a singh said no to a bibi or a bibi said no to a singh because of rehat differences... would that make them 'bad people' or 'un-Gursikh like'?

[Princess]

Vaheguroo ... They are making decisions based on what they believe.. if a singh says no to a bibi or a bibi says no to a singh because they believe certain things they do not wish to see compromised then who are we to judge them for being 'bad people' hunna?

is like an individual askin another individual to go against their beliefs if they want to be married to them because they believe their belief to be the only right one

Personally, i don't think the individual should be 'judged' because they believe in a certain rehit..

[sat_naam18]

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Kee Fateh!

Heera Singh,

In response to your question...I definetely think it can work out between two people if they have different rehits....but it depends on the situation. Let's say for example...the girl or guy does not wake up for amrit vela regularly than this could be an issue because it can impact the other partners progress in Sikhi.

However, if it is over a dastaar issue like the above Singh mentioned...then I don't see any reason why it can't work and I personally don't believe that this is a reason to not marry someone. Let me give you scenario...would you rather marry a bibi who has a keski, but does not help you in progressing in your Sikhi...or would you rather marry a bibi who doesn't wear a keski but does help you in your progress? In my humble opinion, I feel that marriage is a union which fundamentally involves love, respect, trust as well as compromise. A marriage will always work (if this is over the keski issue) as long as each partner has respect for one another's rehit (if they are different). The most important thing to keep in mind is that each partner should help one another in maintaining their rehit (e.g. wake up during amrit vela together). I personally know a couple who have been in this situation (girl doesn't wear keski but guy believes in it) and they are happily married now. And the main reason why their marriage works is because they have learned to respect each other's rehit...

This is just my two cents...

bhul chuk maaf

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Kee Fateh

[Heera Singh]

Vaheguru...

sat naam veerji/bhenji... what you say does make sense.. but like i said, every situation is different.. when it comes to the dastaar issue, sometimes there can be compromises made, sometimes there can't... it all depends on the 2 people involved... and i agree that wearing a dastaar doesn't necessarily mean a persons spiritual avastha is higher.. but like sum1 else said... a person mite not be willin to compromise their beliefs... but again, thats their own personal thing i guess..

Vaheguru...

[Surd_r_cute]

I personally believe higher spirituality is reflected when a person is not critical of other people's belief depite being aware that what they do is wrong. One should try to explain their views but not force other to change as per one's own belief.

[proud_to_be_singhni]

wow......vahe-guru

A lot has changed here from last night. Jai tegang I know your feeling bad. These kind of comments can do more harm then good, if you understand what I'm saying.....A bibi will read that and decide>> thats it I'm throwing this distaar, its ruining my my life, I'm not normal and these facial hairs and other things are making me look ugly, no ones going to marry me.

Before I took amrit those issues were always holding me back to take it because I loved my normal looking girl outer but my mind was falling in love with Guru Sahib ji.

So you can see how your comments may have really hurt last nite.....If I said anything wrong...apologies too.

Trust Heere singh to hijack me topic.... :wub: ...lol....just kiiding, it kind of relates and ultimately helps everyone. but lets not completely turn away from the previous question either.

I am sure others have opinions left to share yet. There are many bibiyian out there feeling just as saddened about marriage issues right now.....like me wondering if there really are real Gursikhs left in the world and do most of the singhs do this when choosing a partner.

[Heera Singh]

shoot.. my bad bhenji.. didn't mean to jack ur thread.... i was jus thinkin that the question would kinda go along wit what u were sayin....

bhul chuk maaf..

[proud_to_be_singhni]

Its kool bro..chk my comment above.