My Mate Is 18 Dating A 13/14 Year Old Girl

[Pheena]

Fateh

yes i agree that the roots and religion of the girl arnt important..he sed hes in love with her and as i sed before i already told him to control himself and step bak but he sed he wont change his relationship with her.. we are in the uk and i dnt know if i shud carry on tellin the guy its wrong because ive told him my view and ive told him that its the same view shared by all the lads too...so do i leave it there or do i continue to tell him its wrong....i mean ive dun wat i cud and givin him a piece of my mind and he thanked me for it. please help sangat ji i dnt wanna act like a hero or anythin.

fateh

He loves her, but does she even know what love is? Do you feel that from talking to him that the girl knows what she is doing? Have you talked to the girl? You know how he feels about her and it seems he is deeply attached to her, but what about her? I don't want to keep repeating myself, but i cannot help but think that the girl doesn't quite understand that at her age such a long term relationship is not the best thing for her because it seems he is in it for the long term. The thing is that all she will ever know is him, she wouldn't be able to explore her world with freedom. He will always overshadow her experiences in life, not necessarily in a bad way, but her experiences will be greatly influenced by his perception of the world. She won't have time to fully develop her own ideals and experiences. The reason i say this is because to a 13/14 year old to have a boyfriend who is much older then him is where mentally one whether it is a boy or girl begin to take leaps ahead of their progressive growth, the foundation does not get fully developed. I dunno perhaps I am wrong in that I don't even know the girl and I'm being over analytic, judgemental of her maturity and I hope for her sake I am.

I feel as you've done your part as a friend so now give him some space. If you continue to pressure him, there is a chance that he will block you and your mates out complelty. Atleast now he is willing to share some things with you. Just stand back and observe for now, don't completly get out of the loop unless you wish to do so, but distance yourself and just observe. Just be ready when he needs you. A good friend knows when to take a step back and knows when to step in knock some sense in their friend. (S)He is also ready to catch their friends when/if they fall from their mistakes.