Arranged Marriages Vs. Love Marriages

[Guest >.>.>.>]

i still dont understand the concept ... as someone would say that i would like to get married to someone who ive grown up with...but then again obviously as sikhi says treat everyone with repsect and consider them as your sister/mother/daughter...and in that case you might be calling her bhenji or whatever form the start...how would that lead you to marry that perosn???

lollll soundz bit confuzing hpe you lot understood lol :lol:

[Khalsa4ever]

i still dont understand the concept ... as someone would say that i would like to get married to someone who ive grown up with...but then again obviously as sikhi says treat everyone with repsect and consider them as your sister/mother/daughter...and in that case you might be calling her bhenji or whatever form the start...how would that lead you to marry that perosn???

lollll soundz bit confuzing hpe you lot understood lol :lol:

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

The bottom line is that love others like you would love a family. So that means love others like your sister, mother, and your wife like your wife!! This is simple: as soon as you realize your relationship is above that of a sister type, then get married...

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[chandanjit kaur]

Gurfateh ji

ok....so now.....this is getting confusing......so just change the fact that he/she was my bro/sis and jus decide to get married wid em? .....ok.......isnt all this up to guru ji?da way you guys tokin its as if you already know who ya gonna marry @ .... :lol: .....no offence yo......well watever kind uv karam we have....its already written and chosen by guru ji........bhul chuk muaf ji

Gurfateh

[_K_]

i would like to get married to someone who ive grown up with...but then again obviously as sikhi says treat everyone with repsect

lollll soundz bit confuzing hpe you lot understood lol :lol:

yep it is confusin..i sed b4 i wud rather marry some1 who i've known previoulsy. i dont disagree with arranged marriages, but i dont disagree with love marriages either. cuz whatever is gonna happen is in Guru Ji's will, whether u meet ur future spouse through family or they have been a friend for many years. u cant change destiny.

i think the term "love marriage" confuses us even more...cuz then u automatically think okkkk it wasnt an "arranged marriage" sooooo that must mean there was a bf/gf relationship goin on in the first place. i dont think thats necessarliy true, sometiimes ppl get married 2 they'r best mates....duz that mean it was a "love marriage?!" not realy...cuz its jus gettin married 2 a person of ur choice.

The bottom line is that love others like you would love a family. So that means love others like your sister, mother, and your wife like your wife!! This is simple: as soon as you realize your relationship is above that of a sister type, then get married...

i agree with this 2. when u know tha u'v bast the bro/sis boundary...GET MARRIED!!!

Gurfateh ji

ok....so now.....this is getting confusing......so just change the fact that he/she was my bro/sis and jus decide to get married wid em? .....ok.......isnt all this up to guru ji?da way you guys tokin its as if you already know who ya gonna marry :wub: @ .... .....no offence yo......well watever kind uv karam we have....its already written and chosen by guru ji........bhul chuk muaf ji

Gurfateh

exactly whatever karam we have....its up 2 Guru Ji...& the bro/sis relationship is not limited 2 those ppl that we know...it extends 2 every other person...the ppl that we dont know personally.

so either way, whetehr it be our choice or not, the person tha we married we wudv once looked upon as a brother or a sister...i dun think thats "wierd" or "nasty" treatin someone in that way is just treating them with the respect that they deserve. n when they become ur husband/wife u will still continue 2 treat em with respect.

okkkk now let me explain (without goin in2 2 much detail cuz i hav 2 revise lol) why i sed what i did:

my family arent religious,they dont even believe that they are sikhs...so what are the chances of them arrangin my weddin with a nice singh?? NONE. they will find some one who believes in the same atuff as them...if they do that...how will i bring my children up accordin 2 sikhi...how can i marry sum1 who will hold me bk from giving my head 2 guru ji?????

Vaheguroo has blessed me with sikhi...y wud he think its best 4 me 2 marry someone whu wud take me away from sikhi when its taken me so long 2 find it? whatever He wills will happen.

u see sometimes this issue isnt just down 2 "puupy love"... u hav 2 think abt this kind'v stuff cuz its gna affect u 4 th rest of ur life.

Gurfateh

Bhul chuk maaph

[canadian_sikh]

wjkk wjkf

i say this case is now closed becasue we have come to a conclusion, combining the sangats ideas and thoughts. the conclusion is that arranged marriage is exactly great but you dont have yto have a love marriage too. the agreeing of both sides and parents is important. also, whoever you end up wwith, you are already destined. so no gettin out of it, the Supreme Master has already made his decision.

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

[DSD]

The guy that said he's married a girl despite being in love with someone else. That is so saddening.

I have been luckier than most because I was given the option of either finding my own wife (as long as she was the same religion, caste, etc) or having an arranged marriage. I got on with a few girls at college/Uni, but never let anything progress, because they were either different religions/castes, and there would have been no future. I prevented myself from getting to know them that way.

For the last year, my parents started looking for me because I was 24 and getting on a bit. At first I was annoyed as I thought arranged marriages were for losers, but then I started to get my head around the idea. The first few girls I met were of no interest to me. Then my Ma said she'd known a girl for 2 years she thought was perfect for me, she just had no way of getting a go-between to ask her (as is traditional). Eventually, my Ma took a huge step (by her standards) and asked the girl direct. This was massive because if either of us turned each other down, it would be awkward for Ma. This girl had turned down rich, loaded guys in the past year and a half while she was looking, and my Ma knew this.

We met up, hit it off, and despite a problem which I saught advice on here yesterday, we are so happy together and can't wait to get married. At the end of the day, if you have trust in your parents, they know you best, and they will know the perfect person for you. My Ma knew I'd have so much in common with my fiancee, and that even knew that she was my type looks-wise.

In conclusion, I feel that there should be no debate, and both options should be available to everyone. You can find the same amounts of happiness and sadness within either.

[canadian_sikh]

wjkk wjkf

loved that last post. congrats DSD.

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

[Guest Guest]

there is only one answer

if you are a sikh, you obviously wont go for a "love" marriage

what is a love marriage??

what is love??? would ur "love" for a person differ if they had a deformed face for instance

it is best to avoid any relationships before marrige at all. get ur parents or somet to arrange a marriage for you. tht way u havent devolped ny feeling for the person involved

remeber

the only true love is love for vahiguru

[Akhoza]

there is only one answer

if you are a sikh, you obviously wont go for a "love" marriage

what is a love marriage??

what is love??? would ur "love" for a person differ if they had a deformed face for instance

it is best to avoid any relationships before marrige at all. get ur parents or somet to arrange a marriage for you. tht way u havent devolped ny feeling for the person involved

remeber

the only true love is love for vahiguru

Say if your parents have no taste and get you married to a troll like in 'east is east.' :lol: @

[kirandeep]

we are taught tht we as sikhs ave 3 gurus....guru granth sahib ji obvi is the first

then our parents are our 2nd. this is because they mould us into who we are and become.

and 3rdly is our sangath...our sangth teaches us wot we know

sayin tht ur rents mite marry u off to som troll...altho i know it wasa joke...wudnt actually happen, because through ur rents waheguru wud allow u to live out the destined life waheguru has writen for u. therefore arranged marriages can work very well..

on the other hand, u may meet 'the one' within the sangath u chill with....it doesnt have to b a kaam filled relationship to be called a love mariage...but if thts who ur supose to b wid then wts the difference or problem with it being love or aranged? at the end of the day guru ji, waheguru ji has writen for u to b wid a certain person and therfore we shud carry out guru jis hukum

bt one fing tht i cnt seem to reali understand is....well u know wen we go through the process of lookin at guuys or girls wid rents in aranged marriages...how do u know wich is the one guru ji chose for u? i mean u mite get on wid more than 2 of them...u cud have stuff in common with more than one...i know at the end of the day its writen...bt how do u know at the time? i mean lyk to feed our hungy stomach we gota pick up the food and put into our mouth...we cnt sit there wid our eyes closed and say 'if guru ji has writen for me to eat today he'll make it happen'....same goes for mariage... how do we know who is the 'one'?

bhul chuhk maff....sorri if ive jst blabbered on abit...have a habit of doin tht lol

wjkk wjkf!