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Guest s133k_s1kh

FATEH!!

Jap Naam Bibi..whatever you are talkin is not real, its temporary. If this is bothering you, go ahead and talk to the guy..but this has got nothing to do with SIKHI. What is more important to you?? The Guru's Hukam or the guy??

The very reason you has posted the second time is because you are not ready to accept what the posters have said. It seems you have made a decision that you have to talk about this to the guy. I am not a guy who is very familiar with gurbani and am no where close to the people who have posted here. But i was always taught to stay away from 5 evils..and you are a victim of one of those evils.. Be it attachment {moh} or be it lust {kaam}. I think its MOH in your case. and if you have been raised the SIKH way, you very well know how to saty away from the evils. rght??

Bhul Chuk Maaf

GURU SAHAI !!

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rqnu iqAwig kaufI sMig rcY ]

rathan thiaag kouddee sa(n)g rachai ||

Forsaking the jewel [naam], they are engrossed with a shell [body].

swcu Coif JUT sMig mcY ]

saach shhodd jhoot(h) sa(n)g machai ||

They renounce Truth[waheguru] and embrace falsehood [maya].

jo Cfnw su AsiQru kir mwnY ]

jo shhaddanaa s asathhir kar maanai ||

That which passes away [body, this world], they believe to be permanent.

jo hovnu so dUir prwnY ]

jo hovan so dhoor paraanai ||

That which is immanent [waheguru], they believe to be far off.

Coif jwie iqs kw sRmu krY ]

shhodd jaae this kaa sram karai ||

They struggle for what they must eventually leave.

sMig shweI iqsu prhrY ]

sa(n)g sehaaee this pareharai ||

They turn away from the Lord, their Help and Support, who is always with them.

cMdn lypu auqwrY Doie ]

cha(n)dhan laep outhaarai dhhoe ||

They wash off the sandalwood paste;

grDb pRIiq Bsm sMig hoie ]

garadhhab preeth bhasam sa(n)g hoe ||

like donkeys, they are in love with the mud.

AMD kUp mih piqq ibkrwl ]

a(n)dhh koop mehi pathith bikaraal ||

They have fallen into the deep, dark pit [of maya, attachment, the 5 evils].

nwnk kwiF lyhu pRB dieAwl ]4]

naanak kaadt laehu prabh dhaeiaal ||4||

Nanak: lift them up and save them, O Merciful Lord God! ||4||

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imiQAw qnu Dnu kutMbu sbwieAw ]

mithhiaa than dhhan kutta(n)b sabaaeiaa ||

False are body, wealth, and all relations.

imiQAw haumY mmqw mwieAw ]

mithhiaa houmai mamathaa maaeiaa ||

False are ego, possessiveness and Maya.

imiQAw rwj jobn Dn mwl ]

mithhiaa raaj joban dhhan maal ||

False are power, youth, wealth and property.

imiQAw kwm k®oD ibkrwl ]

mithhiaa kaam krodhh bikaraal ||

False are sexual desire and wild anger.

this thing applies totally to me as well. guru kirpa karey pray.gif

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waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ke fateh

"as you sow , so shall u reap, if you plant thorns one day you are going to be pricked by them

das has ben in similar situation but in the end of the day if u want to meet waheguru you must frist discard all sensual desires of your body then those in your mind. as long as we cling to our physical and mental cravings we cannot possibly bring ourshelves across to the otherside.

we cannot please our cravings and do bhagti at same time . he who puts his feet into two boats, will certainly drown . as long as we do not take one supprt or do not follow the path with a one pointed mind the secret of life will not be reaveled to us

lust anger greed false attachments and ego are all evils actions that are destroying the body we shouldt be attached to boys and girls and be only attached 2 waheguru

the body is the temple of god. we are destroying the very body in which we one day have the vision of waheguru

penji do ardas and jaap imense amount of naam everything will certainly be sorted

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sad to see this is the condition of the youth wear a kirpan and do some banis in the morning but look at girls and flirt with them throughout the day

you should be ashamed for being a girl and asking this its a shame what girls are turning into these days

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Traditionally the couple meet for the first time on their anand karaj, but with divorces on the up the youth nowadays want to know their potential partner beforehand. Times have changed and I believe for the better; equalityis actually being practiced. Back to the issue: I see no wrong doings here, especially if the bhenjee is of the marrying age.

And sorry KFI but who the hell are you?

Your people skills somewhat lack.

I agree Flirting is thuggi.

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sad to see this is the condition of the youth wear a kirpan and do some banis in the morning but look at girls and flirt with them throughout the day

you should be ashamed for being a girl and asking this its a shame what girls are turning into these days

yo calm down, she just has a question......it's better that she asks som1s opinion rather than not and ending up doing something she regrets...

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kaur ur probably experiencing same stuff as her or in the past were in a similar situation to support her.

its better for her to ask herself what she is and what is wrong or right, you dont need to ask this q to sangat to see what is good or bad, she should develop her own morality not use other ppls, u shud use others at a young age to develop ur own, but if she is teen and can understand what she said she should be smart enough to do something

Also

it is true that truth really hurts for you guys, but try to eliminate the ego within yourselves so you can bear and listen to the truth

u guys help out on issues that should not be helped at, and this is the impression you give, that these kinds of problems are OK, and COMMON, and that is why more youth are involved in it -- and more fall for it, and eventually become apart of the problem it is bec ause it is over publicized and known to be "Normal". and it is only due to your lack of understanding how things work that makes you say these things.

she said maybe akal purkh wanted this for me, and maybe it is who i am destined to be with. you guys dont know anything and think she has the right mental mindset? if akal purkh has something in store for you, it will happen similar to death even if u sit at home with no connection or interaction with the world, we have ppl here asking when i get sick , is it akal purkh making me sick ? rather than letting youth form rationale but all you guys say is stuff that the original person can tell him/herself rendering whatever you say absolutely useless!

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why is it there are only few people replyd to my questions...

dont everyone want to help me? sad.gif

hmm... do u really want help? before u asked if it was a "kaur" thing to do, and now u are saying something bit different.

as u say he has feelings for u too, thn do what otherz have said...leave it to him! (god i can't belive im giving advice on this rolleyes.gif ) but seriously concntrait on bani

is it jus me whoz gettin the impression that u (likemost of the "us" the youth) seem like making marriage as ur(our) first priority in life? people die hun, or things happen in life that we never planned or thought about at all….which guru sahib explainz well in gurbani.

life isn't what we watch on TV showz/films etc... u have to rely on ur self and understand ur self first(through gurbani). Im not sure where I read/heard this but they say…u gotta like nd respect your self first inorder to have others even think about liking and respect you. Waheguru lives with in you. I know I might be taking ur question(s) in a different direction but thzt the only thing I see here. we all live and lead our lives differently but our purpose is one.

nyhow

ask your self why is it that you are dying to know that person? can we really know anyone? we all change as we progress in life. people we meet change us, the environment changes us, what we feed our soul changes us...there are so many factorz that affect us

it could be a positive or negative chnge dependin on the "factors"....

but again it comes down to the philosophical question which many people have been trying to answer DO WE HAVE A CHOICE OR ARE THINGS PRE-DETRMIND (DESTINY)? :nihungsmile:

why not do the things we know are right... the ones we have the answer for?

bhul chuk muaf karni..

if instead of helpin u i have confused u more thn im sorry. (sleepy..)

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fateh jee.

Firstly KFI, I think you're being a bit harsh, non of us are perfect, we all have faults, she has posted her dilema here, at least sangat can advise her to make right decsion. If she didnt post here, she probably would have made the wrong decisons. vahiguroooo :TH:

Ok your in a bit of a situation but you have to be really carefully, first of all i disagree with you wen you say that you want to get to know the guy, this is wrong. Best to let parents handle evrything instead. panj piayre clearly say, no relationships before marriage, so none of this getting to know you stuff and going out. If you believe he would make a good choice for a future husband, talk to your parents and get them to sort it out. However, even if things get arranged, you should still have minimal contact with the singh, until anand kaaraj when you are husband and wife. During the engagement period, contact should be kept at a minimum. You have to be careful not to get attached, just attach yourself to mahrajs feet :D

Ideally, anad kaaraj should be completrly arranged and up to your parents, if your parents then have someone in mind, you can have the choice wether to say yes or no.

Sorry if i have said anythink wrong. These are just my opinions. :@

Vahigurujikakhalsa vahigurujikifateh

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Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz

i think kaur khalistani lioness really brought the issues to the surface here, guest, are u sure u really WANT our help or do u just want to hear what U want to hear, namely, "yes, tell this guy"?? if u really want our opinion you've already got it..

someone else brought up a really gud point about establishing morals....i think respect is a moral a lot of us have or like to "think" we have. maybe some people think its ok to go around telling people that they like them and try different dates as a means to “getting to know the person”, etc... knowing that they might all fail in the end..the degree to which u "respect" urself and ur religion will determine whether u want to do this or not. a marriage is a union of two souls, if u want each relationship to take a part of your soul, what contribution will u be making when u actually DO get married?? u dont noe if this will work out in the end , so, in a sense, u are SELLING ur soul...

you ask if this relationship is meant to be and that if it is u dont want to blow away ur chances, basically. think about this, we are all MEANT to die, we dont know how we'll die, the place we'll die, etc...but if i saw a running train and decided to jump infront of it b/c in my head i thought" im meant to die,what if this is how im meant to die?" then according to your logic, shouldnt i kill myself as i see an opportunity right before my eyes??realistically, you wouldnt do this, so how can u say we are supposed to take all things that will eventually come to be into our own hands?

it all comes back to the original question: do u want to be helped or do u just want to be reassured about the decision u already have made in ur mind?

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thank you! i will leave things to waheguru and read more bani. i think it is something i saw my friends doing, and my mind asked me "why am i stopping my self from doing the same?" i have met couples in these few days who have had arranged marrge and are very happy. i got scared before because i thought i was following the wrong direction. i have been reading and you both kaurs are right. we will end up with whomevr we are suppose to be with one way or the other.

it only will create more delama and problems for me in the future if i continue this thought. i can see my self asking in the future "what if i married this guy how would my life be different?" "did i make a good choice" but with gurbani and sangat i don't think i will ask those questions.

hardkaurW thank you for writing "selling ur SOUL" made me think a lot about life

and also

thank you kaur_khalistani for bringing up the question about choice, and the death. i shouldn't attach my self too much to the body of surface of others. i could die tomm or he can die tom, what will i do then? is that what u mean? i'm in debt to you all. d_oh.gif

anyother things or reasons sangat can comeup with to why b/f g/f isn't the way to go about in life?

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anyother things or reasons sangat can comeup with to why b/f g/f isn't the way to go about in life?

soriT mhlw 9 ]

sorat(h) mehalaa 9 ||

Sorat'h, Ninth Mehla:

pRIqm jwin lyhu mn mwhI ]

preetham jaan laehu man maahee ||

O dear friend, know this in your mind.

Apny suK isau hI jgu PWiDE ko kwhU ko nwhI ]1] rhwau ]

apanae sukh sio hee jag faa(n)dhhiou ko kaahoo ko naahee ||1|| rehaao ||

The world is entangled in its own pleasures; no one is for anyone else. ||1||Pause||

suK mY Awin bhuqu imil bYTq rhq chU idis GyrY ]

sukh mai aan bahuth mil bait(h)ath rehath chehoo dhis ghaerai ||

In good times, many come and sit together, surrounding you on all four sides.

ibpiq prI sB hI sMgu Cwifq koaU n Awvq nyrY ]1]

bipath paree sabh hee sa(n)g shhaaddith kooo n aavath naerai ||1||

But when hard times come, they all leave, and no one comes near you. ||1||

Gr kI nwir bhuqu ihqu jw isau sdw rhq sMg lwgI ]

ghar kee naar bahuth hith jaa sio sadhaa rehath sa(n)g laagee ||

Your wife, whom you love so much, and who has remained ever attached to you,

jb hI hMs qjI ieh kWieAw pRyq pRyq kir BwgI ]2]

jab hee ha(n)s thajee eih kaa(n)eiaa praeth praeth kar bhaagee ||2||

runs away crying, ""Ghost! Ghost!"", as soon as the swan-soul leaves this body. ||2||

ieh ibiD ko ibauhwru binE hY jw isau nyhu lgwieE ]

eih bidhh ko biouhaar baniou hai jaa sio naehu lagaaeiou ||

This is the way they act - those whom we love so much.

AMq bwr nwnk ibnu hir jI koaU kwim n AwieE ]3]12]139]

a(n)th baar naanak bin har jee kooo kaam n aaeiou ||3||12||139||

At the very last moment, O Nanak, no one is any use at all, except the Dear Lord. ||3||12||139||

that tuk applies to both males and females alike. translation is misleading in this case

also, why do want a bf/gf. what do you expect to get from them that you cannot get from waheguru.

the only thing i can think of relates to being physical which sikhs are suppose to stay away from anyway. have some faith in waheguru, you will be taken care of. :TH:

qU kwhy folih pRwxIAw quDu rwKYgw isrjxhwru ]

thoo kaahae ddolehi praaneeaa thudhh raakhaigaa sirajanehaar ||

Why do you waver, O mortal being? The Creator Lord Himself shall protect you.

ijin pYdwieis qU kIAw soeI dyie AwDwru ]1]

jin paidhaaeis thoo keeaa soee dhaee aadhhaar ||1||

He who created you, will also give you nourishment. ||1||

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Guest open minded gurl

I spent the last 15 minutes reading through this topic and yes, some extremely valid points have been made. Particularly where hardkaurwarriorz bhenji mentions how our souls should complement with one another. My thoughts on all this is to somehow not think much of it, which although i gather is difficult for you, because it's apparent you're not ready for marriage.

Having said all that keep yourself open minded: don't lock yourself in a room to stop you talking. We all need to talk! Also we can't alwys be choosers in life and specify all the stereotypical 'good' qualities like good-looking, nice house, nice car, good job. Real qualities would include a personality , having a caring nature, a love and pride for sikhi, being trustworthy, but which are often overlooked for the stereotypical ones.

As yourself this question - can you imagine yourself NOT with this guy in the future?

If are able to imagine, then be straight to him cos it'll take him out of his fantasy too.

When we are young, we often make decisions in haste hence why we usually leave it to our elders. :TH:

(well i'l be truthful that sometimes i hope my future partner will be nice - all boys are idiots, so that's prob why i hope)

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