Non-sikh Bridegroom Marrying A Sikh Women

[catsagdn]

The subject of non-sikhs marrying sikhs has been raised in the media recently

http://www.sikhsangat.org/ssn/publish/Indi...marriages.shtml

In my opinion I do not believe that when a non-sikh man marrys a Sikh women that he should become a Sikh in order to marry her, since love usually can accomodate religious differences and one should not have to change their religion for love. Above all, if a Non-Sikh male marries a Sikh lady, he should not have to become a bearded turbaned Sikh in order to do so!!!!!!!!!

[Akaali]

As per gurmat, it is not constituted as a marriage, if the two people are patit, and are not amritdhaari gursikhs, if someone has a little facial hair and wears a turban for a day, and next day they throw off the dastaar and back to the same ways its not approved by Guru Sahib. Guru Granth Sahib ji is the embodiment of all the 10 gurus. If Guru Gobind Singh jee was sitting on the throne he would tell his gursikhs if you really take me as your guru and you want to have my blessings then follow my teachings and I will give you all my love and blessings. How is it so justified today? Its not. Plain and simple its a ritual not a marriage ceremony. Bhul chuk muaf if I've offended someone, I'm sure I have. Its the bitter truth.

[wjkk wjkf]

^ i agree but forcing say a christian to convert to sikhi so he can marry a sikh girl is no the sikhi way - cos he aint converting fotr love of sikhi or guru ji its cos of the girl - so get married but not infront of guru ji i say...do the registry??

[Guest Papi]

"love" what does this world know about love???? psh

gurmuiK scI AwskI ijqu pRIqmu scw pweIAY ]

guramukh sachee aasakee jith preetham sachaa paaeeai ||

The love of the Gurmukh is true; through it, the True Beloved is attained.

Anidnu rhih Anµid nwnk shij smweIAY ]10]

anadhin rehehi ana(n)dh naanak sehaj samaaeeai ||10||

Night and day, remain in bliss, O Nanak, immersed in intuitive peace and poise. ||10||

===================================

Gr kI nwir bhuqu ihqu jw isau sdw rhq sMg lwgI ]

ghar kee naar bahuth hith jaa sio sadhaa rehath sa(n)g laagee ||

Your wife, whom you love so much, and who has remained ever attached to you,

jb hI hMs qjI ieh kWieAw pRyq pRyq kir BwgI ]2]

jab hee ha(n)s thajee eih kaa(n)eiaa praeth praeth kar bhaagee ||2||

runs away crying, ""Ghost! Ghost!"", as soon as the swan-soul leaves this body. ||2||

[Punjabi_Link]

Sikh Rehat Maryada:

Anand Sanskar (Lit. Joyful Ceremonial : Sikh Matrimonial Ceremony and Conventions)

Article XVIII

a. A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock without giving thought to the prospective spouse's caste and descent.

b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.

c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized by Anand marriage rites.

d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.

e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites.

f. Marriage may not be preceded by engagement ceremony. But if an engagement ceremony is sought to he held, a congregational gathering should be held and, after offering the Ardas before the Guru Granth Sahib, a kirpan, a steel bangle and some sweets may be tendered to the boy.

g. Consulting horoscopes for determining which day or date is auspicious or otherwise for fixing the day of the marriage is a sacrilege. Any day that the parties find suitable by mutual consultation should be fixed.

h. Putting on floral or gilded face ornamentation, decorative headgear or red thread band round the wrist, worshipping of ancestors, dipping feet in milk mixed with water, cutting a berry or jandi (Prosopis spieigera) bushes, filling pitcher, ceremony of retirement in feigned displeasure, reciting couplets, performing havans (Sacrificial fire), installing vedi (a wooden canopy or pavilion under which Hindu marriages are performed), prostitutes' dances, drinking liquor, are all sacrileges.

i. The marriage party should have as small a number of people as the girl's people desire. The two sides should greet each other singing sacred hymns and finally by the Sikh greetings of Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

j. For marriage, there should be a congregational gathering in the holy presence of Guru Granth Sahib. There should be hymn-singing by ragis or by the whole congregation. Then the girl and the boy should he made to sit facing the Guru Granth Sahib. The girl should sit on the left side of the boy. After soliciting the congregation's permission, the master of the marriage ceremony (who may be a man or a woman) should bid the boy and girl and their parents or guardians to stand and should offer the Ardas for the commencement of the Anand marriage ceremony.

The officiant should then apprise the boy and the girl of the duties and obligations of conjugal life according to the Guru's tenets.

He should initially give to the two an exposition of their common mutual obligations. He should tell them how to model the husband-wife relationship on the love between the individual soul and the Supreme Soul in the light of the contents of circumambulation (Lavan) hymns in the Suhi measure (rag) section (The bulk of the Guru Granth (the Sikh holy book ) is divided on the basis of the ragas (measures) of the Indian classical music. Suhi is one of the ragas featuring in the Guru Granth Sahib) of the Guru Granth Sahib.

He should explain to them the notion of the state of "a single soul in two bodies" to be achieved through love and make them see how they may attain union with the Immortal Being discharging duties and obligations of the householders' life. Both of them, they should be told, have to make their conjugal union a means to the fulfillment of the purpose of the journey of human existence; both have to lead clean and Guru-oriented lives through the instrumentality of their union.

He should then explain to the boy and girl individually their respective conjugal duties as husband and wife.

The bridegroom should be told that the girl's people having chosen him as the fittest match from among a whole lot, he should regard his wife as his better half, accord to unflinching love and share with her all that he has. In all situations, he should protect her person and honour, he should be completely loyal to her and he should show much respect and consideration for her parents and relations as for his own.

The girl should be told that she has been joined in matrimony to her man in the hallowed presence of the Guru Granth Sahib and the congregation. She should ever harbour for him deferential solicitude, regard him the lord master of her love and trust; she should remain firm in her loyalty to him and serve him in joy and sorrow and in every clime (native or foreign) and should show the same regard and consideration to his parents and relatives as she would, to her own parents and relatives.

The boy and girl should bow before the Guru Granth Sahib to betoken their acceptance of these instructions. Thereafter, the girl's father or the principal relation should make the girl grasp one end of the sash which the boy is wearing over his shoulders and the person in attendance of the Guru Granth Sahib should recite the matrimonial circumambulation stanzas {Lavan of the fourth Guru in the Suhi musical measure section of the Guru Granth Sahib } (Pp. 773-4). After the conclusion of the recitation of each of the stanzas, the boy, followed by the girl holding the end of the sash, should go round the Guru Granth Sahib while the ragis or the congregation sing out the recited stanza.

The boy and girl, after every circumambulation, should bow before the Guru Granth Sahib in genuflexion, lowering their forehead to touch the ground and then stand up to listen to the recitation of the next stanza.There being four matrimonial circumambulation stanzas in the concerned hymn, the proceeding will comprise four circumambulations with the incidental singing of the stanza.After the fourth circumabulation, the boy and girl should, after bowing before the Guru Granth Sahib, sit down at the appointed place and the Ragis or the person who has conducted the ceremony should recite the first five and the last stanza of the Anand Sahib. Thereafter, the Ardas should he offered to mark the conclusion of the Anand marriage ceremony and the sacred pudding, distributed'.

k. Persons professing faiths other than the Sikh faith cannot be joined in wedlock by the Anand Karaj ceremony.

l. No Sikh should accept a match for his/her son or daughter for monetary consideration.

m. If the girl's parents at any time or on any occasion visit their daughter's home and a meal is ready there, they should not hesitate to eat there. Abstaining from eating at the girl's home is a superstition. The Khalsa has been blessed with the boon of victuals and making others eat by the Guru and the Immortal Being. The girl's and boy's people should keep accepting each other's hospitality, because the Guru has joined them in relationship of equality (Prem Sumarag).

n. If a woman's husband has died, she may, if she so wishes, finding a match suitable for her, remarry. For a Sikh man whose wife has died, similar ordinance obtains.

o. The remarriage may be solemnized in the same manner as the Anand marriage.

p. Generally, no Sikh should marry a second wife if the first wife is alive.

q. A baptised ought to get his wife also baptised.

http://sgpc.net/rehat_maryada/section_four_chap_eleven.html

[ParnaamShaheedaNu]

This matter is taken up in the 52 Hukams of Sahib Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji.

[sikh supreme]

The subject of non-sikhs marrying sikhs has been raised in the media recently

http://www.sikhsangat.org/ssn/publish/Indi...marriages.shtml

In my opinion I do not believe that when a non-sikh man marrys a Sikh women that he should become a Sikh in order to marry her, since love usually can accomodate religious differences and one should not have to change their religion for love. Above all, if a Non-Sikh male marries a Sikh lady, he should not have to become a bearded turbaned Sikh in order to do so!!!!!!!!!

Are you crazy? it is not acceptable unless both are Sikhs. If a sikh guy wants to marry a white christian, hindu or muslim girl she will have to embrace Sikhism first that is MANDETORY! same goes for the non-sikh man he must first embrace Sikhism or the marriage is not valid because the values and ideologies are different and conflict in the long term. An invidivuals love for Waheguru and Sikhism should superseed the fake temporary love/lust he/she has for fellow humans.

[davindervirk]

That great man i love when people convert into sikhism. I think that the parents are happy in a way because i guys will be sikh. Whats wrong with intermarriage if one party will convert for love?

[Mutheeaa]

b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.

Defination of sikh comes to play here.

[rsingh]

Would a muslim be allowed to marry a non Muslim? Would a Jewish person be allowed to marry a non jew at a synagogue?

But non Sikhs should be allowed to marry in Gurdwara, in hazoori and do laavan of Guroo Sahib who we say is living Guroo?

Doesn’t make much sense does it. Thought not!