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Atm Machines - Male Vs. Female


Akaali
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This one is for the men :lol:

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Husband & Wife !! Too Good .........

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM

and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !

LOL.gif

Hehehe, that joke really made me chuckle lols, :| No offence to the guys lol, Share the love lols partytime.gif

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ok ok lemme get in on this :nihungsmile:

Husband Superstore

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a

husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men

increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose

a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down

except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First floor

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women

read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not

loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor

The sign read, "These men have hi! gh paying jobs, love kids, and are

extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's

further up?"

Third floor

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good

looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women,

"Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are

extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic

streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us

further on!

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove

that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we

hope you fall down the stairs."

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ok ok lemme get in on this :nihungsmile:

Husband Superstore

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a

husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men

increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose

a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down

except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First floor

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women

read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not

loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor

The sign read, "These men have hi! gh paying jobs, love kids, and are

extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's

further up?"

Third floor

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good

looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women,

"Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are

extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic

streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us

further on!

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove

that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we

hope you fall down the stairs."

LOL.gifLOL.gifLOL.gifLOL.gif

im saying women just shouldnt try on this topic.... tongue.gif

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ok ok lemme get in on this :nihungsmile:

Husband Superstore

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a

husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men

increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose

a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down

except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First floor

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women

read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not

loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor

The sign read, "These men have hi! gh paying jobs, love kids, and are

extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's

further up?"

Third floor

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good

looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women,

"Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are

extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic

streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us

further on!

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove

that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we

hope you fall down the stairs."

hahahahahahahahahahahaha LOL.gifLOL.gifLOL.gif

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:lol:

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30 facts about Men

1. Why does a man have a clear conscience? Because it's never used.

2. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss.

3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time,who would reach the ground first? The woman, the man would get lost.

5. How are men like commercials? You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 60 seconds.

6. How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a bikini.

7. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.

8. What's the difference between government bonds and men? Bonds mature.

9. What did God say after creating man? I can do better.

10. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? a) No mind. b) No business.

11. What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.

12. If men got pregnant .... Psychiatric Services and serious pain killers would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.

13. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.

14. What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.

15. How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.

16. How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."

17. Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

18. What does a man consider to be quality time with his wife? Pulling the sheets over her head and saying, "Great chili, Babe!"

19. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.

20. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.

21. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.

22. Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.

23. How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

24. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.

25. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

26. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him.

27. Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract.

28. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

29. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

30. What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women.

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o no you didin't

- They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense

- It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !!!!

- Q: What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?

A: Magnets have a positive side!

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