Atm Machines - Male Vs. Female

[Jasy]

ohh this is war noww....

-- Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?

When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know."

When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhhhh."

-- What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need........

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need

-- Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?

A mental hospital.

-- What is the difference between garbage and men?

Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!

-- Why are men like strawberries?

Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten.

-- What do UFO's and caring men have in common?

You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

-- How do you confuse a man?

You don't have to - they're born that way

-- What are the three types of men?

The handsome, the caring and the majority

-- What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?

One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.

-- How do we know men invented maps?

Who else would make an inch into a mile?

-- What's the difference between a man and a messy room?

You can straighten up a messy room.

-- When does a man develop a brain?

The day he gets married.

-- Why did the man sell his water skis?

He couldn't find a lake on a hill.

-- What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man?

A Myth.

-- Why did God Create man first?

1. Practice makes perfect.

2. There's a frist draft with anything.

3. To see what needed to be fixed and then make the proper changes.

4. First is the worst.........Second is the best!

5. To be funny

-- Woman: "I got a set of golf clubs for my husband"

Friend: "GREAT trade!"

i think thts enough for the day...MUHAHAHA

[ham avgun bharay]

ohh this is war noww....

-- Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?

When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know."

When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhhhh."

-- What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need........

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need

-- Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?

A mental hospital.

-- What is the difference between garbage and men?

Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!

-- Why are men like strawberries?

Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten.

-- What do UFO's and caring men have in common?

You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

-- How do you confuse a man?

You don't have to - they're born that way

-- What are the three types of men?

The handsome, the caring and the majority

-- What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?

One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.

-- How do we know men invented maps?

Who else would make an inch into a mile?

-- What's the difference between a man and a messy room?

You can straighten up a messy room.

-- When does a man develop a brain?

The day he gets married.

-- Why did the man sell his water skis?

He couldn't find a lake on a hill.

-- What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man?

A Myth.

-- Why did God Create man first?

1. Practice makes perfect.

2. There's a frist draft with anything.

3. To see what needed to be fixed and then make the proper changes.

4. First is the worst.........Second is the best!

5. To be funny

-- Woman: "I got a set of golf clubs for my husband"

Friend: "GREAT trade!"

i think thts enough for the day...MUHAHAHA

Man that was too fuuny :lol: :|

[Barjinder Singh]

what do you say about this one?

Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.

Husband :(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."

Wife :Have you brought the grocery?

Husband :Bad command or filename.

Wife :But I told you in the morning

Husband :Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife :What about my new TV?

Husband :Variable not found ...

Wife :At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied...

Wife o you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?

Husband :Too many parameters ...

Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an <banned word filter activated> like you.

Husband :Data type mismatch.

Wife :You are useless.

Husband :It's by Default.

Wife :What about your Salary?

Husband :File in use ... Try after some time.

Wife :What is my value in the family.

Husband :Unknown Virus.

[Techno_singh]

o no you didin't

- They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense

- It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !!!!

- Q: What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?

A: Magnets have a positive side!

[Techno_singh]

what do you say about this one?

Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.

Husband :(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."

Wife :Have you brought the grocery?

Husband :Bad command or filename.

Wife :But I told you in the morning

Husband :Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife :What about my new TV?

Husband :Variable not found ...

Wife :At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied...

Wife o you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?

Husband :Too many parameters ...

Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an <banned word filter activated> like you.

Husband :Data type mismatch.

Wife :You are useless.

Husband :It's by Default.

Wife :What about your Salary?

Husband :File in use ... Try after some time.

Wife :What is my value in the family.

Husband :Unknown Virus.

haha

[Akaali]

Oh God! What have I done!! :nihungsmile:

[Jasy]

-- Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?

A. We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

-- What should you give a man who has everything?

A. A woman to show him how to work it.

-- Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

-- Why are men like laxatives?

They can irritate the <admin-profanity filter activated> out of you.

-- Maturity:

Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

i believe the women are winning agn....hehehe

[Techno_singh]

-- Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?

A. We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

-- What should you give a man who has everything?

A. A woman to show him how to work it.

-- Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

-- Why are men like laxatives?

They can irritate the <admin-profanity filter activated> out of you.

-- Maturity:

Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

i believe the women are winning agn....hehehe

bold points : wrong way round, and what school do you go ? haha :lol:

[Guest Papi]

i believe the women are winning agn....hehehe

dont be so sure bibi just because you have a cute lil nephew :wubc: doesn't mean i'll be soft

Understanding a Woman

We need REALLY MEANS I want

You want REALLY MEANS You need

It's your decision REALLY MEANS The correct decision should be obvious by now.

We need to talk REALLY MEANS I need to complain

Do what you want REALLY MEANS You'll pay for this later.

Sure... go ahead REALLY MEANS I don't want you to.

I'm not upset REALLY MEANS Of course I'm upset, you <banned word filter activated>!

You have to learn to communicate. REALLY MEANS Just agree with me.

Do you love me? REALLY MEANS I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? REALLY MEANS I did something you're not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. REALLY MEANS Be patient I'll be a while.

Am I a little fat? REALLY MEANS Tell me I'm beautiful.

I'm sorry. REALLY MEANS You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? REALLY MEANS It's easy to fix, so get used to it.

and mod saab, u better not close this thread lol this is fun :lol:

[Guest G.Kaur]

The war has just begun :lol:

Keep them coming Jasy!