Atm Machines - Male Vs. Female

[Guest Papi]

A lonely divorcee was driving home from work one evening when she saw a man

trying to hitch a ride. She picked him up and they got to talking.

"What do you do?" she asked him.

"I recently escaped from prison for having killed my wife."

"Oh, does that mean you are available?"

lol bibi is pretty fast today

[JustME]

Most Men and Real Men

The Difference between Most Men and REAL Men

Real Men..put you on the phone when their mothers call.

Most Men..pretend you're not there when their moms call.

Real Men..claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner.

Most Men..claim to be feminists because they let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.

Real Men..know what they want to be doing five years down the road.

Most Men..are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.

Real Men..really know how to make you relax.

Most Men...really know how to make you laugh.

Real Men..read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.

Most Men..read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.

Real Men..make a lot of money before they are 30.

Most Men..make a lot of mistakes before they are 30.

Real Men..wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces.

Most Men..wear high school T-shirts they've actually owned since high school.

Real Men..think perfume (yours) is a turn-on.

Most Men..think sweat (theirs) is a turn-on.

Real Men..balance their checkbooks.

Most Men..balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row.

Real Men..have an internist, a tailor and an accountant.

Most Men..have a barber, a bartender and a mechanic.

Real Men..are afraid of becoming their fathers.

Most Men..are afraid of becoming Real Men.

nah pahjee just too slow...........like most men

[Guest Papi]

i'm scared of bibia like the one in this joke

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets

up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up

the customs of a patriarchial society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his

seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.

A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again

and refuses to let him up.

Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two

miles past my stop already."

[JustME]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^tehehehehehe

A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy.

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."

[Guest Papi]

Sum Ting Wong BAHAHAHAH :lol:

[Barjinder Singh]

i m back with this new weapon.... defend urself ...bibis

One day, while a woman was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The woman started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the woman laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The woman is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The woman giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

:lol: :| :lol:

[Guest singhnee2k7]

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?

A: Who cares!!!

A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp. The Genie will only grant him one wish. The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!

Q: Why do men have slits in their underwear?

A: So they can get oxygen to their brains.

Q: What did god say after he made Adam?

A: "I can do better than that." then he made Eve.

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?

A: Gifted

Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years?

A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: Why do women work harder than men?

A: Women get it done right the first time.

Q: Why is a man like a diaper?

A: because they are always on your <admin-profanity filter activated>, and they are usually full of <admin-profanity filter activated>.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who makes the biggest splash?

A: The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist.

Q: Why don't men do laundry?

A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!

Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?

A: Gifted

Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow?

A: One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place!

Q: How are men and beer bottles alike?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?

A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: No one knows, it's never happened

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)

Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?

A: Government bonds mature.

Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?

A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

A: E.T. phoned home.

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?

A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.

Q: How do men exercise at the beach?

A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?

A; A hot dog and a six-pack.

Q; How are men like noodles?

A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts?

A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.

:lol: :| :lol:

[Barjinder Singh]

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?

A: Gifted

Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?

A: Gifted

it shows how silly and foolish girls r... they can't even understand that both of these r same jokes with different wordings... may god bless them with some mind...

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

"Rab vi kuriyaan nu nahin samaj sakda tan psychoanalysis ki cheez hai..."

:lol: :| :lol:

[Guest singhnee2k7]

^^^^^^^^^

Don't get on your high horse so fast :lol:

Hahaha it needed to be said twice

Husband : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Husband : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

[Techno_singh]

^^^^^^^^^

Don't get on your high horse so fast :lol:

Hahaha it needed to be said twice

Husband : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Husband : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

then why keep the picture?