Atm Machines - Male Vs. Female

[Barjinder Singh]

here is the bouncer... duck if u can...

Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?

A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts:

"I wanna know your name..."

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

A: The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

Q: What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?

A: 1.No mind.

a: 2.No business.

Q: Why do women like intelligent men?

A: Opposites attract.

[lowest of the low singhni]

Q: Why do women like intelligent men?

Unfortunately, it seems to be because intelligent men are a rarity, and usually people like things which have an uncommonly high value.

I can't believe this topic has gone on for 5 pages. Now would be a good time to resort to personal attacks, because then Talikhaak would have to do his moderator-sahib-thing and close his own topic :lol: .

[Barjinder Singh]

hey.. don't close this topic.. i m enjoying it although girls may not like it as they r losing...haha... keep on posting funny jokes...

[lowest of the low singhni]

...haha... keep on posting funny jokes...

Meaning no disrespect, but I think that should say start posting funny jokes.

[Jkaur]

What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better...

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

They all already have boyfriends.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why did God create man before woman?

Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. (i love this one) ..

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown

Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better...

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

They all already have boyfriends.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why did God create man before woman?

Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. (i love this one) ..

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown

Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?

hahahahahahahaha

[JustME]

Understanding Men

"IT'S A GUY THING"

Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"

Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."

Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."

Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

[JustME]

Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal...

[B4ND4]

Q: What's the difference b/w puppies and women?

A: Puppies grow up :lol:

[JustME]

Q: What's the difference b/w puppies and women?

A: Puppies grow up :|

Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract..... :lol:

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?

A: Because they are...

What is the difference between a man and childbirth?

One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while

the other is just having a baby.

enuff sed..... hehehehe :lol: