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Internet Dating Advice


Guest _Kaur_
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Guest _Kaur_

Hi guys,

I need someone to talk to about this.

As many of you out there, i have had the pressure to get married and so i joined an internet dating service. For a long time nothing much happened but then finally i thought i met someone.

At first things seemed to be going well but suddenly he stops contacting me and becomes very unreliable. I know he had things on but he had plenty of time to send a text message or email (and i am much more busy than him anyway and yet i can find the time). Also, sometimes i would see him on MSN but he wouldnt send me a message unless i sent one first (whereas before he would send me a message). So, after about 2 months, of me having to do all the contacting and him not getting back to me when he said he would, i told him, i dont think this is going to work out.

Of course, i am upset by this because i am back to square 1 and my parents are pressuring me because all my cousins are getting married and i am not.

Maybe this is an obvious question to ask, but have i been strung along?

I told him i wanted to take things slow etc, so we never did anything physical because i dont want to be used by anyone and he said he understood and that was fine. I also didnt bombard him with contact because i respect peoples space, so i am not clingy.

I just dont get how before he seemed so interested and was saying stuff like, he can imagine us getting married in the future and now he doesnt stay in simple contact.

I have seen he is back on the internet and his profile is active again. When i said "This doesnt seem to be working out", i never heard back from him...

Have i been duped by an internet player?

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^-- a member of the Sangat is asking for advice and your too stuck up to answer it? Come on guy, answer the poor girl in distress!

I'm sorry to hear that _Kaur_. It's most likely that you've been played. Alot of guys are out there who at first get some sort of an unresistable attraction (sounds crazy I know). A month down the line they get bored and simply stop talking.

A number of factors attribute to this:

a) He DOESNT genuinly see you both together

b) Somewhere in the conversations you had something took a turn for the worst

c) Your typing was too slow and he had to wait for ages (.. it happens.. unlikely reason but it could be).

d) He never really took the marriage idea seriously and isnt ready for it.

e) He's just busy.

My advice would be to move on and keep your options over. Signup to a few more websites and see if you like anybody else.

Consider other methods than the internet. The internet is kind of limited and takes alot of time.

- Get your friends to reffer you (nope, it doesnt sound desperate believe me.. even if it did - so what?).

- SpeedDating. It's called DATING but all it is, is meeting 30 or so people in a room one at a time. Anybody you remotely have interest - you take there number.

I hope that helped in you coming to a conclusion.

VSB

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^^koi na..tusi jiada na socho..(for poster #2)

Original poster ji i am assuming you aren't amritdhari. I really have no clue how these dating sites work but i don't think we should be trusting these sites/ people on these sites. If you are real desparate to get married then find someone in real life or just let your parents find someone for you.

You haven't written much in your post so its hard to understand your situation. If you need to talk you can send me a PM. If you think you'll be more comfortable talking to a bibi you can still PM me and i'll try to find a siani bibi(they are hard to find :s ) for you to talk to tongue.gif .

You should have faith in Guru Ji. They always do the best for us.

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Guest lowest_of_the_low

hmm well.. from my experience (COUGH COUGH lol) it doesn't look like he was playing you..

ACtually, we're not too sure how exactly he worded things - if they sounded ambiguous to mean as if he's really interesting, yet can easily be interpretted as not being interested at all.. well then he was stringing you along.

If you look at this through the glass of reality, you'll realise that if you told him "it can't work out" well, he won't want to stick around for too long because for him maybe you're just a "failed case" if you know what I mean (Since He's on a dating agency as well I'm assuming he's looking for someone too!)

so yeah, it's so easy to fake emotions online - hence i don't trust it.. im better of phoning someone, meeting with them etc. But in terms of dating and finding someone.. mmm im not too sure

Sori

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i think its a dangerous game to be out looking for someone yourself. you could easily get taken advantage of.

If your parents are so desperate to get you married, tell them to look for you! Or maybe you can get sum bibia you you trust/resoect to help you out, or maybe other relatives/friends.

I think all parents pressurise ther kids to get married, but dont worry bout it too much.

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Guest __Singh__
Hi guys,

I need someone to talk to about this.

As many of you out there, i have had the pressure to get married and so i joined an internet dating service. For a long time nothing much happened but then finally i thought i met someone.

At first things seemed to be going well but suddenly he stops contacting me and becomes very unreliable. I know he had things on but he had plenty of time to send a text message or email (and i am much more busy than him anyway and yet i can find the time). Also, sometimes i would see him on MSN but he wouldnt send me a message unless i sent one first (whereas before he would send me a message). So, after about 2 months, of me having to do all the contacting and him not getting back to me when he said he would, i told him, i dont think this is going to work out.

Of course, i am upset by this because i am back to square 1 and my parents are pressuring me because all my cousins are getting married and i am not.

Maybe this is an obvious question to ask, but have i been strung along?

I told him i wanted to take things slow etc, so we never did anything physical because i dont want to be used by anyone and he said he understood and that was fine. I also didnt bombard him with contact because i respect peoples space, so i am not clingy.

I just dont get how before he seemed so interested and was saying stuff like, he can imagine us getting married in the future and now he doesnt stay in simple contact.

I have seen he is back on the internet and his profile is active again. When i said "This doesnt seem to be working out", i never heard back from him...

Have i been duped by an internet player?

He is not worthy of you. Least you have learned from this expereince. If its any consolation i have had excatly the same expereinces with women.

PM me we can talk.

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Guest ..wut?

Ok im sorry for my first post, but I dont think you should be using dating services. You should do ardaas infront of maharaj and ask that you find a jeevan sathi that can help u in your search for akaal and then ask some chadikalaa gursikhs that are older then you and ask if they can help find a jeevan sathi. Dating services only promote things that we shouldnt be getting invovled in.

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