Muslim/sikh Relationship

[Guest anonymous girl]

well...........erm.........i dont know where to start well im from the UK and im a muslim girl. For years i have i known this sikh boy who is turbanned and keeps a beard but isnt baptised. since i have know him i have fallin in love with him and cant picture spendin the rest of my life with anyone else! im not religious at all but his views on life and his principles have influenced me e.g. he doesnt drink, smoke, eat meat, never been in a relationship, doesnt believe in sex before marriage all of these things have attacted me to him in a big way and his handsome!...........we are both over 21......................his just always been there for me even when even if didnt ask for help and even wen he talks about his female friends i get really jealous........i have fallen madly in love with him and i dont know how to tell him.......please help.........i mean i think he likes me becausee he tells me im pretty/attractive etc when i feel down to cheer me up and he always puts me first......so what should i do?

[Guest Guest]

You tell him u like him

Either he says me too (seems v.doubtful from ure story) but lets just pretend he says yes....then u got to talk about problems you may face ie ure parents reaction, wat type of marriage u gonna have, wat religion ure children gonna be?

Or he may say no and then u feel gutted. But life goes on. Either way best just to tell the person and then deal with whatever happens.

[Guest gsgsgs]

yeah go ahead and say him the truth.....................if he likes u too........u may think of marriage and stuff...........things might be difficult but if both of u really love each other then things should eventually turn fine.

[Guest _malkeet_]

it sounds like this sikh guy is very blessed with gurujis kirpa (grace) and he is trying hard to follow the sikh way of life.

he has clearly said to you that he wouldnt have a relationship before marriage, as this is against the teachings of sikhism. even though you have fallen in love with him, i think you should respect his beliefs and not confuse him and put his sikhi at strain by tempting him to get into a relationship with you. very rare nowadays is a person who can resist all the temptations in society and stay true to his beliefs and religion.

If you really see yourself spending your life with him, then i encourage you to learn more about sikhism, and even become a sikh yourself, and then ask him if he would like to marry you.

these are just my humble opinions

malkeet

[Guest observer]

go for it if your willing to compramise and grow together.... I dont see why you both cant be happy together. I believe Muslim girls should be encouraged more to get into relationships with other religious men in order to promote harmony and address the imbalance muslim men have created by restricting muslim girls from dating outside the religion while they freely date whoever they want.

[Mehtab Singh]

So if a "Sikh" girl is dating a Muslim, the Muslims have an agenda, and when a Muslim girl wants to marry a "Sikh", she is blessed? Why the double standards? This Muslim girl is also someone's sister/daughter. Her family would never tolerate her conversion to another religion (just like us Sikhs). Why are you guys encouraging something that you hate when the tables are turned?

To my Muslim sister:

Sister, I really respect and appreciate your feelings for this fellow Sikh brother. Don't get me wrong, and I am sorry if I sound too blunt, but you are probably well aware of the kind of relations that exist between Sikhs and Muslims (especially if you are from UK). A lot of strain has already put between these 2 communities as a result of Sikhs and Muslims dating. I also respect the fact that this fellow Sikh brother is a committed and devout Sikh, and so you better know that if religion is genuinely a priority for him, he will want to marry only a Sikh girl.

The challenge for you is...

Are you willing to embrace Sikhi?

Will this be just for the sake of a guy?

God forbid if this guy isn't there in your life anymore, will you still stick with Sikhi?

How will you face your family and community, as in, how will you stand upto them?

Believe me, I am NOT trying to discourage you. I am myself a convert to Sikhi and nothing makes me more happy to see someone else fall at my Guru's feet. But you got to ask yourself what is your priority in life. Is it just this guy? Or is it more than that? Remember Sikhs are not evangelists who go hunting for converts. If you are serious about this guy, I am sorry to break the news to you, you are going to have to be a 100 times more serious about Sikhi. Its no joke trust me! He seems to be firm in his faith, so I'd expect you not to shake him away from it (I know you won't and don't intend to do that).

You are 21, so is he. You both are not kids. If this is a mere infatuation/crush, let it pass. Its an age that we all go through. Cheering girls up by talking sweet and always being there when they need you, trust me its not a big deal! These things are very common in colleges/universities. If you are really serious, talk to him, and see what he has to say about it. Sikhs are not allowed to marry non-Sikhs, although some don't care and do it anyways. You wouldn't want him to go against the very religion which made him the perfect man you fell in love with, would you? We are not here to brainwash you into Sikhi. So like someone suggested, try your best to study Sikhism. Read the translations of Gurbani (the divine word of God). You'll fall in love with those words! Only once you've disclosed your feelings to him, and once you have a good understanding about Sikhi, will you be able to take a decision, and hopefully a firm one.

Please forgive me if anything I said sounded offensive. I am just trying to advice you as a fellow human being, not as someone who loves to have people convert to his faith. A blessing would be if you became a Sikh after falling in love with Gurbani, rather than merely compromising your faith for the sake of a guy who thinks you look pretty and talks sweet to cheer you up.

All the best

May SatGuru Jee guide you!

[Guest Guest]

Nicely said Mehtab Singh! A very respectable post...I agree you should only become Sikh if you love Sikhi.....

PS - I really wanna log in and download the dasamgranth link but i just cannot log in. Can anyone please help me. I deleted cookies and it still does not log me in. I also need to check my PM's too!

[Jkaur]

Very well said Mehtab...

p/s: it doesnt sound dumb/stupid. It is a well written answer :s

[B4ND4]

PS - I really wanna log in and download the dasamgranth link but i just cannot log in. Can anyone please help me. I deleted cookies and it still does not log me in. I also need to check my PM's too!

Download it from here >> http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1QIR2LFP

ps: Good reply Mehtab veer :D

p/s: it doesnt sound dumb/stupid. It is a well written answer :s

[Guest Akaaaaaaaaaal]

be careful with that pdf file. There are countless mistakes in it regarding spelling, vishraams, bindis, etc. I would advice not to use that das granthi file at all, it is huge beadbi of maharaj's bani to spell it wrong and make as many mistakes as are in that file.