Beating Your Kids

[dalsingh101]

If any of you are parents, you will know why a parent beats a child. It is because you are angry. That is a chorr in Sikhism.

A parent NEVER beats a child because they think it will discipline them, that is a justification after the event. It is purely because they have failed to prevent the child misbheaving, or because they have lost it in the heat of the moment.

Imagine you are a manager at work and a worker is forever doing Sickies, spends half the time in the tea-room, having a <admin-profanity filter activated>, browsing the internet (oops)! Well, do you lose your patience and beat them or do you reason with them or bring in othe rdisciplinary measures? Why should your own child suffer physical punishment and pain?

Remember people, physical action is a last resort in Sikhi, be that in a regional crisis or personal one, and onyl to be used for Waheguru's justice.

To clarify, beatings are necessary only for bad parents (where they have failed to prevent bad beahviour in their kids, or to control them earlier), and it refelcts badly on their abilities to communicate with their child. They have not taught their child right from wrong, but have taught them that you can intimidate and scare the weak usign physical force. If you have any doubt about this, note that physically abusive behaviour is passed on from generation to generation. And of course, the odd clip round the ear-hole is not the same level as systematic physical abuse, but it's the tip of teh iceberg that thnakfully most people never fall down!

Sadly I've seen so many kids brought up with this liberal nonsense where the kid grows to be a real self centred twat.

You talk about using punitive measures being a sign of bad parenting. That is wrong. Being a fairy who fails to clearly distinguish between right and wrong is equally bad parenting.

Some kids are tough, they don't respond to talking/reasoning. These ones occasionally could do with a thappar when they go too far.

I see kids brought up in all different manners in my career. I think I am in a position to say many with the left wing wishy washy upbringing turn out to be morally weak. Whilst many people who were given the odd slap when they went too far, grow up to say that they think it was positive (note: I'm not condoning physical child abuse but discipline as an option).

Maybe your own genetic dispositions are placid - I know many kids that seem inherently spirited and testy. They test boundaries audaciously and it seems to be characteristic of theirs. Sometimes they just need to be reminded not to go to far - for their own sake.

An example would be when a child is caught bullying another. A swift slap at the time and an explanation of the relationship between your actions and theirs would do much better than any amount of wishy washy <admin-profanity filter activated>.

If your in the UK look at the explosion of wild chavs that everyone is complaining about as the result of trying to foist left wing, white middle class child rearing practices on the working class and foreigners.

[xkaurx]

grounding a kid n sending them 2 their room doesnt do anything loll but a slap is all thats needed dont think anything more is good

[MiriPiri]

If any of you are parents, you will know why a parent beats a child. It is because you are angry. That is a chorr in Sikhism.

A parent NEVER beats a child because they think it will discipline them, that is a justification after the event. It is purely because they have failed to prevent the child misbheaving, or because they have lost it in the heat of the moment.

Imagine you are a manager at work and a worker is forever doing Sickies, spends half the time in the tea-room, having a <admin-profanity filter activated>, browsing the internet (oops)! Well, do you lose your patience and beat them or do you reason with them or bring in othe rdisciplinary measures? Why should your own child suffer physical punishment and pain?

Remember people, physical action is a last resort in Sikhi, be that in a regional crisis or personal one, and onyl to be used for Waheguru's justice.

To clarify, beatings are necessary only for bad parents (where they have failed to prevent bad beahviour in their kids, or to control them earlier), and it refelcts badly on their abilities to communicate with their child. They have not taught their child right from wrong, but have taught them that you can intimidate and scare the weak usign physical force. If you have any doubt about this, note that physically abusive behaviour is passed on from generation to generation. And of course, the odd clip round the ear-hole is not the same level as systematic physical abuse, but it's the tip of teh iceberg that thnakfully most people never fall down!

Sadly I've seen so many kids brought up with this liberal nonsense where the kid grows to be a real self centred twat.

You talk about using punitive measures being a sign of bad parenting. That is wrong. Being a fairy who fails to clearly distinguish between right and wrong is equally bad parenting.

Some kids are tough, they don't respond to talking/reasoning. These ones occasionally could do with a thappar when they go too far.

I see kids brought up in all different manners in my career. I think I am in a position to say many with the left wing wishy washy upbringing turn out to be morally weak. Whilst many people who were given the odd slap when they went too far, grow up to say that they think it was positive (note: I'm not condoning physical child abuse but discipline as an option).

Maybe your own genetic dispositions are placid - I know many kids that seem inherently spirited and testy. They test boundaries audaciously and it seems to be characteristic of theirs. Sometimes they just need to be reminded not to go to far - for their own sake.

An example would be when a child is caught bullying another. A swift slap at the time and an explanation of the relationship between your actions and theirs would do much better than any amount of wishy washy <admin-profanity filter activated>.

If your in the UK look at the explosion of wild chavs that everyone is complaining about as the result of trying to foist left wing, white middle class child rearing practices on the working class and foreigners.

I never advocated using non-punitive measures. That's impossbile. Non-physical punishments I said.

First of all, placidity is rarely due to genetics. ANd vice versa. E.g. a school in a poort American neighbourhood solved the hyperactivity in tehir school by changing the school meals to non-added sugar and non-additive foods.

E.g. In TV progs where way OTT kids are playing up, they are disciplined using psychological reconditioning like nauhgty step to contemplated their actions and give them time to calm down. The only "problem" with this that it requires time and patiences which a lot of people don't seem to have. And this hints at why many kids are unruely in teh UK, for example. Cos both parents are busy workign to maintain their plasma TV lifestyles, or drugs, or alcohol, or keepign with the next-door Singhs, or....well, you get the picture.

Wishy-washy and liberalism are just words and labels that people bandy about because other people's views are different and they wish to blame someone. Like Indian government coining the phrase against Sikh fighters calling them militants and terrorists so that the media had aready phrase to use.

Please don't use them without a logical argument.

Look, if people think slapping is a good form of punishment, then fair enough I accept it causes no lasting harm (apparently) but I choose to respect my kids and show them values that accord with positivity and constructiveness ratehr than a quick-fix destructive nature. It's that fundamentally simple to me. If everyone did the same, then we'd all be a lot happier. Not that I'm perfect, but I am passionate about the way to do certain things.

For the record, I am not pacifist before anyone wishes to attach labels.

[Singhballer]

No need to beat or hit a child.

He or she should be taught wat is correct and incorrect.

But for those like me... a jhutti here or there works. :s

[dalsingh101]

If any of you are parents, you will know why a parent beats a child. It is because you are angry. That is a chorr in Sikhism.

A parent NEVER beats a child because they think it will discipline them, that is a justification after the event. It is purely because they have failed to prevent the child misbheaving, or because they have lost it in the heat of the moment.

Imagine you are a manager at work and a worker is forever doing Sickies, spends half the time in the tea-room, having a <admin-profanity filter activated>, browsing the internet (oops)! Well, do you lose your patience and beat them or do you reason with them or bring in othe rdisciplinary measures? Why should your own child suffer physical punishment and pain?

Remember people, physical action is a last resort in Sikhi, be that in a regional crisis or personal one, and onyl to be used for Waheguru's justice.

To clarify, beatings are necessary only for bad parents (where they have failed to prevent bad beahviour in their kids, or to control them earlier), and it refelcts badly on their abilities to communicate with their child. They have not taught their child right from wrong, but have taught them that you can intimidate and scare the weak usign physical force. If you have any doubt about this, note that physically abusive behaviour is passed on from generation to generation. And of course, the odd clip round the ear-hole is not the same level as systematic physical abuse, but it's the tip of teh iceberg that thnakfully most people never fall down!

Sadly I've seen so many kids brought up with this liberal nonsense where the kid grows to be a real self centred twat.

You talk about using punitive measures being a sign of bad parenting. That is wrong. Being a fairy who fails to clearly distinguish between right and wrong is equally bad parenting.

Some kids are tough, they don't respond to talking/reasoning. These ones occasionally could do with a thappar when they go too far.

I see kids brought up in all different manners in my career. I think I am in a position to say many with the left wing wishy washy upbringing turn out to be morally weak. Whilst many people who were given the odd slap when they went too far, grow up to say that they think it was positive (note: I'm not condoning physical child abuse but discipline as an option).

Maybe your own genetic dispositions are placid - I know many kids that seem inherently spirited and testy. They test boundaries audaciously and it seems to be characteristic of theirs. Sometimes they just need to be reminded not to go to far - for their own sake.

An example would be when a child is caught bullying another. A swift slap at the time and an explanation of the relationship between your actions and theirs would do much better than any amount of wishy washy <admin-profanity filter activated>.

If your in the UK look at the explosion of wild chavs that everyone is complaining about as the result of trying to foist left wing, white middle class child rearing practices on the working class and foreigners.

I never advocated using non-punitive measures. That's impossbile. Non-physical punishments I said.

First of all, placidity is rarely due to genetics. ANd vice versa. E.g. a school in a poort American neighbourhood solved the hyperactivity in tehir school by changing the school meals to non-added sugar and non-additive foods.

E.g. In TV progs where way OTT kids are playing up, they are disciplined using psychological reconditioning like nauhgty step to contemplated their actions and give them time to calm down. The only "problem" with this that it requires time and patiences which a lot of people don't seem to have. And this hints at why many kids are unruely in teh UK, for example. Cos both parents are busy workign to maintain their plasma TV lifestyles, or drugs, or alcohol, or keepign with the next-door Singhs, or....well, you get the picture.

Wishy-washy and liberalism are just words and labels that people bandy about because other people's views are different and they wish to blame someone. Like Indian government coining the phrase against Sikh fighters calling them militants and terrorists so that the media had aready phrase to use.

Please don't use them without a logical argument.

Look, if people think slapping is a good form of punishment, then fair enough I accept it causes no lasting harm (apparently) but I choose to respect my kids and show them values that accord with positivity and constructiveness ratehr than a quick-fix destructive nature. It's that fundamentally simple to me. If everyone did the same, then we'd all be a lot happier. Not that I'm perfect, but I am passionate about the way to do certain things.

For the record, I am not pacifist before anyone wishes to attach labels.

I understand your point but you have to admit that in many western countries the youth are going "off the rails" since the widespread adoption of what I see as lefty child rearing policies. I know youth crime is a major problem in the UK for example. Yes there are lots of environmental aspects to why this is but also children knowing that they will get no real punishment for their actions doesn't help either.

Watch this for a funny take on it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hw7l_2XeGo8

[xkaurx]

loll i seen that video b4 hilarious!

[MiriPiri]

I understand your point but you have to admit that in many western countries the youth are going "off the rails" since the widespread adoption of what I see as lefty child rearing policies. I know youth crime is a major problem in the UK for example. Yes there are lots of environmental aspects to why this is but also children knowing that they will get no real punishment for their actions doesn't help either.

Watch this for a funny take on it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hw7l_2XeGo8

I do agree this children are ferrile, i.e. "wild", i.e. they have not been brought up in a harmonius, civilised way. And if they get to that stage, then they need some REAL punishment, instead of givign them what they see as a prize, i.a. ASBO!

BUT, I guess I am an idealist and think that beating children is unnecessary and even more improtantly undesirable. I can't imagine any of our Gurus beat children. That's where I'm partly coming from. Trying (and always failing in other matters) to live up to the Gurus' ideals.

[MPKaur]

I totally disagree with beating children however, that being said, children need discipline and boundaries. I think most would agree with that. What some of us seem to disagree on is on how letting the child know he/she has cross the line or do something wrong.

I also believe in respecting children as they are human beings. I like to respect them but if they do something they are not suppose to do, then you can be sure they will face the consequence but not through beating. Time out in the corner, taking video games away (that one works wonder :D )

The important thing is consistency and taking time to explain what they have done wrong and what they should have done instead. I unusually ask them the question: what have you done wrong? Why was it wrong? what could you have done instead? ( I also like form them to give me 2 or 3 different solutions if possible).

I think children learn a lot more from us than we might think. When we scream we teach them to scream when something doesn't go the way they like. When we discuss over an issue we disagree with we teach them that discussion is a good way to resolve conflict, when we resort to physical punishment, we teach them that being physical is the way to resolve conflicts (some have learned that very well, I read on this forum so many times "lets' give them a beating"

In any case I also cannot imagine the gurus beating up their kids but then again, I wasn't there

I think discipline method as a lot to do with our own personal philosophy which was probably heavily influenced by our own experienced as a child but also by our education.

Again children need discipline and boundaries otherwise: free for all, but discipline can take different forms ( ask my son he once had to copy japji sahib, it took him 3 days)

[Heera Singh]

:D

[Guest peacemaker]

^^^

ROTFL