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People who say its wrong phenji, believe me they are just jealous that you have got something to love and perhaps would get in to long term relationship i.e. marriage. This is how things happen, and one way of finding a partner. I know someone who is amritdhari, who fell in love and just got married, so dont listen to others, think about your heart and what you do. Bear people are just jealous because they can't fall in love, you can fall in love and get married as well as having your sikhi intact.

If your in a prime age, then go for it, if your too young, then live a little, but people with this kind of mentality only get married when they are budday. No wonder, no one gets married these days, cos they think its wrong to fall in love etc, which is pure bu"!£{:content:}quot;£{:content:}quot;£$ if you ask for my opinion.

Tomorrow when there is a ton load of tension and clash between her and the boy's family, when her own parents are in tears in front of her, when some stupid people from both the castes are ready to "do away" with either one of them, then I will wonder who is jealous of whom :) . Also, if this kind of "love" is all that "amazing",why do people say "I FELL in love", why don't they say "I rose in love"? Doesn't that itself stand as a proof that such a "love" makes you FALL? Those who have been saying that the only true love is Vaaheguroo's love do know that only Vaaheguroo's love is genuine. You said "you can fall in love and get married as well as having your sikhi intact". Brother I sure hope you know that when the panj pyaare administer Amrit, they clearly tell you that from this day every man/woman who isn't your spouse is like a brother/sister or father/mother or son/daughter. How is this "love" going to help her in Sikhi when the root cause of the problem is caste (something totally unSikh)? Labelling some people as jealous or not understanding equates one to those who say love is wrong, because at the end both sides are judging each other as wrong. If she truly loves him, she should be bold enough to express it to her parents. She says his parents have no problem, and said her mother isn't strict, so who is left? Her dad? I asked her that if she needs genuine help she should contact the mods and they can maybe talk to her dad. What more does she want from us? We can't rub Aladdin's lamp and invoke a genie who will go scare her dad, can we? What can we do for real, please let me know. If she is too young, she should wait for the right time. In today's professional and competitive world it is always a good idea to tie the knot once you are professionally and financially stable on your feet, which is why you see people marrying late. Some who have had bad experiences find it hard to trust the opposite gender and so choose to stay single. Therefore your logic that "people with this kind of mentality only get married when they are budday. No wonder, no one gets married these days" is I am very sorry to say but totally incorrect.

Life is a path on which one runs after his/her priorities. If her priority in life is this guy whom she loves to death, then by all means she should do whatever it takes to be with him, to make any sacrifice she has to make to marry him. She shouldn't have posted this question on a Sikh forum if thats the case. For a Sikh, his/her first and last priority is Gurujee, the Guru who said "every man/woman who isn't your spouse is like a brother/sister or father/mother or son/daughter".

The choice is in her hands. Who is her priority in life? The boy? Fine, go ahead and marry him at any cost! Or Gurujee? Then do what you should do as a Sikh within the boundaries of Gurmat.

Please forgive me if this post sounded as a personal attack. My only intention was to point out what I found wrong. However, I am not perfect, so if you think I am wrong, please feel free to correct me.

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a part of me wants to say you should be able to love anyone who your parents introduce you o but i would be denying reality, i feel parents have to comprimise also, the beauty of love is that when you follow your heart you unintentionally follow sikhi because you overcome any caste , racial difference because the heart is not brainwashed like the mind is.

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bhenji tell your parents...dont waste ur time in these stupid relationships! our janam is too short to run after someone other than our Guru. I kno it's easier said than done but thats the right hting in teh end....run after ur Guru and not someone else....

I believe in love but still loving someone other than ur Guru is WRONG!

" Bohut Janam Bichray Thai Madho Ehay Janam Tumarey Lekhey "

god knows how many janams we've spent chasing others...lets chase Our Guru this time...ehh?

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People who say its wrong phenji, believe me they are just jealous that you have got something to love and perhaps would get in to long term relationship i.e. marriage. This is how things happen, and one way of finding a partner. I know someone who is amritdhari, who fell in love and just got married, so dont listen to others, think about your heart and what you do. Bear people are just jealous because they can't fall in love, you can fall in love and get married as well as having your sikhi intact.

If your in a prime age, then go for it, if your too young, then live a little, but people with this kind of mentality only get married when they are budday. No wonder, no one gets married these days, cos they think its wrong to fall in love etc, which is pure bu"!£{:content:}quot;£{:content:}quot;£$ if you ask for my opinion.

Tomorrow when there is a ton load of tension and clash between her and the boy's family, when her own parents are in tears in front of her, when some stupid people from both the castes are ready to "do away" with either one of them, then I will wonder who is jealous of whom ;) . Also, if this kind of "love" is all that "amazing",why do people say "I FELL in love", why don't they say "I rose in love"? Doesn't that itself stand as a proof that such a "love" makes you FALL? Those who have been saying that the only true love is Vaaheguroo's love do know that only Vaaheguroo's love is genuine. You said "you can fall in love and get married as well as having your sikhi intact". Brother I sure hope you know that when the panj pyaare administer Amrit, they clearly tell you that from this day every man/woman who isn't your spouse is like a brother/sister or father/mother or son/daughter. How is this "love" going to help her in Sikhi when the root cause of the problem is caste (something totally unSikh)? Labelling some people as jealous or not understanding equates one to those who say love is wrong, because at the end both sides are judging each other as wrong. If she truly loves him, she should be bold enough to express it to her parents. She says his parents have no problem, and said her mother isn't strict, so who is left? Her dad? I asked her that if she needs genuine help she should contact the mods and they can maybe talk to her dad. What more does she want from us? We can't rub Aladdin's lamp and invoke a genie who will go scare her dad, can we? What can we do for real, please let me know. If she is too young, she should wait for the right time. In today's professional and competitive world it is always a good idea to tie the knot once you are professionally and financially stable on your feet, which is why you see people marrying late. Some who have had bad experiences find it hard to trust the opposite gender and so choose to stay single. Therefore your logic that "people with this kind of mentality only get married when they are budday. No wonder, no one gets married these days" is I am very sorry to say but totally incorrect.

Life is a path on which one runs after his/her priorities. If her priority in life is this guy whom she loves to death, then by all means she should do whatever it takes to be with him, to make any sacrifice she has to make to marry him. She shouldn't have posted this question on a Sikh forum if thats the case. For a Sikh, his/her first and last priority is Gurujee, the Guru who said "every man/woman who isn't your spouse is like a brother/sister or father/mother or son/daughter".

The choice is in her hands. Who is her priority in life? The boy? Fine, go ahead and marry him at any cost! Or Gurujee? Then do what you should do as a Sikh within the boundaries of Gurmat.

Please forgive me if this post sounded as a personal attack. My only intention was to point out what I found wrong. However, I am not perfect, so if you think I am wrong, please feel free to correct me.

I love this guy!!!!!! :)

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People who say its wrong phenji, believe me they are just jealous that you have got something to love and perhaps would get in to long term relationship i.e. marriage. This is how things happen, and one way of finding a partner. I know someone who is amritdhari, who fell in love and just got married, so dont listen to others, think about your heart and what you do. Bear people are just jealous because they can't fall in love, you can fall in love and get married as well as having your sikhi intact.

If your in a prime age, then go for it, if your too young, then live a little, but people with this kind of mentality only get married when they are budday. No wonder, no one gets married these days, cos they think its wrong to fall in love etc, which is pure bu"!£{:content:}quot;£{:content:}quot;£$ if you ask for my opinion.

Tomorrow when there is a ton load of tension and clash between her and the boy's family, when her own parents are in tears in front of her, when some stupid people from both the castes are ready to "do away" with either one of them, then I will wonder who is jealous of whom :) . Also, if this kind of "love" is all that "amazing",why do people say "I FELL in love", why don't they say "I rose in love"? Doesn't that itself stand as a proof that such a "love" makes you FALL? Those who have been saying that the only true love is Vaaheguroo's love do know that only Vaaheguroo's love is genuine. You said "you can fall in love and get married as well as having your sikhi intact". Brother I sure hope you know that when the panj pyaare administer Amrit, they clearly tell you that from this day every man/woman who isn't your spouse is like a brother/sister or father/mother or son/daughter. How is this "love" going to help her in Sikhi when the root cause of the problem is caste (something totally unSikh)? Labelling some people as jealous or not understanding equates one to those who say love is wrong, because at the end both sides are judging each other as wrong. If she truly loves him, she should be bold enough to express it to her parents. She says his parents have no problem, and said her mother isn't strict, so who is left? Her dad? I asked her that if she needs genuine help she should contact the mods and they can maybe talk to her dad. What more does she want from us? We can't rub Aladdin's lamp and invoke a genie who will go scare her dad, can we? What can we do for real, please let me know. If she is too young, she should wait for the right time. In today's professional and competitive world it is always a good idea to tie the knot once you are professionally and financially stable on your feet, which is why you see people marrying late. Some who have had bad experiences find it hard to trust the opposite gender and so choose to stay single. Therefore your logic that "people with this kind of mentality only get married when they are budday. No wonder, no one gets married these days" is I am very sorry to say but totally incorrect.

Life is a path on which one runs after his/her priorities. If her priority in life is this guy whom she loves to death, then by all means she should do whatever it takes to be with him, to make any sacrifice she has to make to marry him. She shouldn't have posted this question on a Sikh forum if thats the case. For a Sikh, his/her first and last priority is Gurujee, the Guru who said "every man/woman who isn't your spouse is like a brother/sister or father/mother or son/daughter".

The choice is in her hands. Who is her priority in life? The boy? Fine, go ahead and marry him at any cost! Or Gurujee? Then do what you should do as a Sikh within the boundaries of Gurmat.

Please forgive me if this post sounded as a personal attack. My only intention was to point out what I found wrong. However, I am not perfect, so if you think I am wrong, please feel free to correct me.

True, but am speaking from experience, I am 31 nearly 32, and I got married when I was 25. If I looked upon every women as a sister, I dont think I would have been married, my argument is your got to draw the line sometimes and take the bate and get married, otherwise you be 99 years old if you had mentality like that. Its good to think of others as sisters, but you if you are looking for marriage then you cant simple as, I mean would you sleep with your sister? (No offence), answer would be NO, but if you are looking for marriage then you would try and find a partner for yourself or with your parents. It different these days, its kaljug, and you got to get around it.

As for the question, I think it is wrong to put it on a forum and she needs to make a decision and make all ends meet.

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If I looked upon every women as a sister, I dont think I would have been married, my argument is your got to draw the line sometimes and take the bate and get married, otherwise you be 99 years old if you had mentality like that.
http://forums.waheguroo.com/index.php?show...c=23362&hl=

I was told something a while ago and found it inspirational. It was about one of the 13 Singhs, and I am assuming it was about Shaheed Jathedar Bhai Amrik Singh because they were very young.

One of the 13 Singhs (who I'm assuming was Bhai Sahib but will verify), was engaged at the time of their Shaheedi. What is inspirational though is that they still called their "fiance" Bhainji and fully saw her as a sister. Everyone around Bhai Sahib would be poking him and saying Singho you do not have to call her Bhainji anymore, you are engaged to her. And Singh ji said that he will always call her and see her as his own sister, until the actual day that they walk around Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji together and become husband and wife in the eyes of Vaaheguru. Until then, she is my sister, Bhai Sahib said.

I hope now you get what I mean. There are people who outwardly say "veerji/bhenji" for the sake of saying, but have ulterior motives. At the same time others do mean it when they say it. Then there are others who don't say "veerji/bhenji" at all thinking "Who will I marry if everyone becomes veerji/bhenji", and others don't say it from outside rather see others as brothers and sisters in their hearts/minds. So basically, at the end of the day, one has to stand by what one says, and also have clear intentions within oneself. Both of these conditions apply, not just one.

Its good to think of others as sisters, but you if you are looking for marriage then you cant
Thats exactly what I used to think, but this "veerji/bhenji" concept in terms of Gurmat became more clear to me after I read the above sakhi. As a Sikh, we REGARD everyone as brother/sister, meaning we DON'T think filthy about ANYONE at ANY point (which is more than impossible). Here is what I said 4 years ago on a similar topic...

Do NOT have evil thoughts about anyone in your mind, especially someone of another gender. This is really really hard, but it is the only way I feel can help. You have a friend who is of your opposite gender,ok. Do NOT think bad or feel anything about them. This way, if he/she calls you veerjee/bhenji in future, you wont have the.. "Oh no! He/she called me veerjee/bhenji! Now I can't fool around/flirt with him/her!"...shock. And if things take a different turn, and you both reach a point of marriage, still you won't get any shock, as you never had any expectations. This way, no matter what happens, veerjee/bhenjee situation, or husband/wife situation, you won't get any shock, you will accept whatever comes, and why? because your mind was free from dirt and filth right from the beginning.

It all boils down to one's intentions brother, and thats what we are accounted for when we face Dharamraj. Like they say "actions speak louder than words". I can call every bibi "bhenji" and still "fool around" when no one is around. At the same time, I may call her by her name instead of bhenji, but respect her the same way I respect my own sister. Its all about what I have in mind.

It different these days, its kaljug, and you got to get around it.
It is Kaljug, you are right, which makes the "having clean intentions, clean heart, clean mind" part seem next to impossible, and it is. But as you've read above, there have been GurSikhs who have got around Kaljug. I just wish I can at least immitate them.

Bhul chuk maaf

ps: 9unjabi girl started 2 threads on her "love life". Both have reached a saturation point. I guess I don't have to state what needs to be done to both of them now.

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