Getting Married...hair Problem

[Singh_Valiance]

I think hairy girls are unique and beautiful.

That won't do her much good. :6 , except that she will come to know that you hav an opinion of yours but its her fiance that she is concerned about jee

[*gupt-kaur*]

Its better to tell him you have a lot of bodily/facial hair because >>

what if he is also like those other guys who pass ruthless comments about women with body/facial hair

Its better not to live your whole life with someone who won't accept you for who you are. Just tell him and see how he reacts. Also you should tell him your bleaching since this is a bujjar kurehit.

Ok as I have already indicated in the subject my problem is with that unwanted body hair. I will come straight to the point.I am an amritdhari girl and I have always had a lot of hair growth on my arms, legs and face. I have been so conscious of it that I have never worn half sleeve shirts and for that matter not even quarter sleeves.

There are many females including me who have a lot of facial/bodily hair. You're not alone. But the difference between you and me is that I've learned to accept the way God has made me and so should you. Penji, many times in Gurbani it says that this world is just a dream. When we die, we wont remember a thing what happened to us whilst alive. The only thing that is left with us is regret. Regret that we didn't do what we came here to do. Even if you didn't have an excessive bodily/facial hair, will this really make you happy? For worldly reasons it would. But for your soul it won't do any good for you. You will be still left in the same state - separation from God. The difference between your fiancé and God is that God will accept you for who you are. Whether you're beautiful or ugly, God won't take that into thought.

Don't think what Guru sahib has done to you is a punishment. He has only done it to increase your love for him. When you look at your hair, what comes to mind? When I look at my hair, I remember God since God is the one who put that there. It makes me feel detached from the love of this human body and instead it makes me want to yearn for the love of Guru sahib. At this moment you're not going to realize that God does everything for your own good. Soon, you will start realizing that God did everything in love because thats all he is.

he couldn't even have noticed the facial hair because I bleach that. ( I know its manmat to do so but I just can't gather the confidence to carry myself with that hair coz I have heard comments from the so called gursikhs mentioning to it as 'daadi wali bibi' or' muchaan wali bibi'. So I kind of just gave in to the pressure and have been bleaching my face for long. )

Penji, why would you want to please the ones that have no love for you? Why would do want to fit in with those that pass on rude comments to Guru sahibs daughters? They say these comments because they want people to look like the way THEY want. You should show these people that you don't care what they think and stop being ashamed of your image. The reason you feel this way about your image is because of company. When you be in company of those who cut their hair, your mind will become imbalanced just as theirs and will think hair is abnormal.

In order to increase you confidence read jaap sahib as many times as you can. Increase your naam/gurbani abhiyaas. Spend time more with Guru sahib (at Gurdwara). Get GURSIKH friends. If you can't then make NAAM your sangat. Avoid bad company. And most importantly do ardaas since we alone cannot do anything because we have no power. Remember: the only one that will love you till the end is God. So, attach yourself to his lotus feet - Naam and Gurbani. http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=899

vaheguru ji ka khalsa

vaheguru ji ki fateh

:WW: :WW: :WW: :WW: :WW: :pray: vahegurooo

[Amrit]

Vjkk Vjkf

I was in a similar posistion before I got married, but my husband is not really bothered it, i dont think he even notices...so dont worry about it, marriage is about much more than just looks, trust me! I also agree with the others and think you should talk about it with him. The main thing is that you should have confidence in yourself, if you show that it doesnt matter to you and be confident about it it wont be an issue. You should be proud that you are a gursikh!

[Guest _Singh_]

wow! theres been some amazing advice not just for women but for some me to esp. from the guest about "learned to accept the way God has made me" anyway i dont think i could add much EXCEPT that you are engaged and im sure u are happy with ur husband to be......im sure he has hair too and he probably may have felt the same or probably still does.........u are going to be married so u need to COMMUNICATE with your husband to be..........if u cant talk to him NOW will you be able to after and during your marriage. just a thought

[Guest WannabeSinghni]

Gurfateh ji!

Really glad to see that their have been so many replies to this post. I was wondering if someone could also give me some advice. i am a non amritdhari girl but at the moment trying to keep the rehat. i have always been quite shy and i am not very confident.

i have been trying to keep my rehat for about fours years now and i have come to point where i am really struggling. facial hair is the main problem. my confidence is now soo low due to comments made by people, my own parents and the looks i get, i feel that i am now finding it difficult to even make eye contact with people because i am becoming really parniod. sometimes i just hate looking in the mirror.

i know all this sounds really lame, because of all the sacrifices given by soo many for sikhi in our history, but i cant help feeling the way i do. i look at other girls that have much more facial hair yet are soo graceful and proud i do wish i could be like them, but i feel i cant. thinking about the furture in context with the uni course i am doing at the moment i will be fully involved with the public and i feel that, with my confidence the way it is now it feels impossible that i'll manage such a job. i really dont want to cut my hair but i feel i have lost confidence in everything im doing including parth and simran. i feel im stuck because i dont want to go back by cutting my hair, but i feel i cant go forward either.

sorry about the essay but just wanted peoples advice.

thanks

[Amrit]

Gurfateh ji!

Really glad to see that their have been so many replies to this post. I was wondering if someone could also give me some advice. i am a non amritdhari girl but at the moment trying to keep the rehat. i have always been quite shy and i am not very confident.

i have been trying to keep my rehat for about fours years now and i have come to point where i am really struggling. facial hair is the main problem. my confidence is now soo low due to comments made by people, my own parents and the looks i get, i feel that i am now finding it difficult to even make eye contact with people because i am becoming really parniod. sometimes i just hate looking in the mirror.

i know all this sounds really lame, because of all the sacrifices given by soo many for sikhi in our history, but i cant help feeling the way i do. i look at other girls that have much more facial hair yet are soo graceful and proud i do wish i could be like them, but i feel i cant. thinking about the furture in context with the uni course i am doing at the moment i will be fully involved with the public and i feel that, with my confidence the way it is now it feels impossible that i'll manage such a job. i really dont want to cut my hair but i feel i have lost confidence in everything im doing including parth and simran. i feel im stuck because i dont want to go back by cutting my hair, but i feel i cant go forward either.

sorry about the essay but just wanted peoples advice.

thanks

Do not give up on path and simran, these are the things you will need to help you through this hard time. Whose opinion do you care about most 'other people' or your Guru's? The main thing about sikhs is that we stand out, thats why Guru Ji gave us this saroop, you should be proud of it. Also, look on the bright side if people to ask you about facial hair it gives you the opportunity to tell them about sikhi. Don't worry about, to most people facial hair does not matter.

[۹βkaur۹β]

Gurfateh ji!

Really glad to see that their have been so many replies to this post. I was wondering if someone could also give me some advice. i am a non amritdhari girl but at the moment trying to keep the rehat. i have always been quite shy and i am not very confident.

i have been trying to keep my rehat for about fours years now and i have come to point where i am really struggling. facial hair is the main problem. my confidence is now soo low due to comments made by people, my own parents and the looks i get, i feel that i am now finding it difficult to even make eye contact with people because i am becoming really parniod. sometimes i just hate looking in the mirror.

i know all this sounds really lame, because of all the sacrifices given by soo many for sikhi in our history, but i cant help feeling the way i do. i look at other girls that have much more facial hair yet are soo graceful and proud i do wish i could be like them, but i feel i cant. thinking about the furture in context with the uni course i am doing at the moment i will be fully involved with the public and i feel that, with my confidence the way it is now it feels impossible that i'll manage such a job. i really dont want to cut my hair but i feel i have lost confidence in everything im doing including parth and simran. i feel im stuck because i dont want to go back by cutting my hair, but i feel i cant go forward either.

sorry about the essay but just wanted peoples advice.

thanks

penje everyone has kes, some have too much, and some have none.....but that just represents vahegurooos hukham, everything happens for a reason, so is mahraj wants u to have kes even if it is facial hair..then be it... just please DONT loose faith, everything is within paat etc....if u stop that..... no wonder ur loosing faith......keep the ardas going with full concentration, ask for mahrajs support and strength....hope u get to a point where u feel PROUD of lookin in the mirror....because u wont see urself...u'll see mahraj's creation.

just dont give up on paat and ur ardas, only that will help u. dont worry about a job etc...... it wil all come with time, no need to worry. its all pre written

so for now..... get that faith back.....and do ardas :pray: