Is It Okay To Adress A Bibi As Singhni?

[guptveer1469]

I was talking to a Singh, and referred to a Bibi as Singhni, and he said to me that Singhni shouldn't be used for a Kaur, as the title given to a male Khalsa is Singh (thus Singhs) and female Khalsa is Kaur (thus Kaurs)

What does sangat think?

Bhul Chuk Maaf,

WJKK WJKF

[Harvinder singh Babbar]

very intresting indeed. i personally feel females shud be refered to as kaurs, but theres nothing wrong with calling them singhni's either.

Bhul Chuk Maaf,

WJKK WJKF

[apnepart2]

makes sense.

[AvnitK]

it makes sense ...but its kinda common when a person uses singhni

[vikramjitsingh]

it makes sense ...but its kinda common when a person uses singhni

Fateh Ji,

There should be no problem. But it does depend on the Kaur you are addressing.

My cousin calls his wife Singhnee.

Guru Rakha

[Guest shastr]

singhni is used mostly for ur wife, or other peoples wife. or example "my singhni is a work right now" or "bhaji's singhni works at the hospital"

but if they not married, we should try to use "bhenji". its nice and easy.

[guptveer1469]

singhni is used mostly for ur wife, or other peoples wife. or example "my singhni is a work right now" or "bhaji's singhni works at the hospital"

but if they not married, we should try to use "bhenji". its nice and easy.

Agree with the Singhni = wife bit..

I don't think Bhaji Phenji is too good either. It is used mostly by people that try to act like real Singhs... There are many weirdos out there that call Kaurs/Singhnis as phenji, and then try to flirt with them..

Look at this amazing post by Mehtab Singh bhaji.

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!</span>

(Typed a long reply but it got screwed up. So here goes again!)

This was discussed before as well: http://forums.waheguroo.com/index.ppa?act=...&hl=veerjis

Thats what I was gonna say as well!

sangat ji ..just wondering one day ..that sikh gals and guys call each other as veerji and penji right..but let say that one singhnee call singh as 'veerji' and later on they got married..wouldn't that be weird..???

Not just weird, but sick and pathetic. I don't understand how and why people do that.

Here are some things I want to add, and I am sorry if I go off track.

The last time this topic was discussed, those days I was under shock and astonishment as to how certain Amritdharis can also be so far away from Gurmat. Gurujee's hukam is "Eka Naari Jati Howe, Par Naari Dhee Bhen Vakhaani", meaning You are to have

"relationship" only with one woman, and all others are like daughters and sisters (some even include mother). Those who do NOT call a person of another gender as veerjee/bhenjee just so that they don't lose a chance of fooling around or flirting with someone, I feel sorry for them. And if they are Amritdhari, I feel ashamed. Its all about keeping options open, and so they don't, not even by mistake, address someone as veerjee/bhenji. Well, all the best when you stand before Dharamraaj! If veerjee/bhenji are used for respect, well, why can't you say the person's name and end it with "jee" if you have to address them with respect. If you call someone veerjee/bhenji, and are not serious about it, that means you cannot even give respect to your own words, so good luck being a Sikh!

Do you want to be a son/daughter of Guru Gobind Singh and live gracefully as a Singh/Singhnee with mind fixed on Gurbani, or be a cheap desi who will fool around with anyone humming profane songs from Bollywood, Punjabi pop or western music?

The problem arises when someone of the opposite gender addresses you as veerjee/bhenji, and your mind says "Oh no! He/she called me veerjee/bhenji! Now I can't fool around/flirt with him/her!". This shows that you had evil thoughts in your mind, and now that things are not as you imagined, you are shocked.

I asked a similar question on Sikhnet long back. The answer was amazing. The Singh said that you don't have to make every woman your sister, just treat them as such. Meaning, don't think of her in an evil way, don't do stuff with her you are not supposed to, etc.

So what is the solution? Here is what I think can/should work :

Do NOT have evil thoughts about anyone in your mind, especially someone of another gender. This is really really hard, but it is the only way I feel can help. You have a friend who is of your opposite gender,ok. Do NOT think bad or feel anything about t

hem. This way, if he/she calls you veerjee/bhenji in future, you wont have the..

Oh no! He/she called me veerjee/bhenji! Now I can't fool around/flirt with him/her!

...shock. And if things take a different turn, and you both reach a point of marriage, still you won't get any shock, as you never had any expectations. This way, no matter what happens, veerjee/bhenjee situation, or husband/wife situation, you won't get any shock, you will accept whatever comes, and why? because your mind was free from dirt and filth right from the beginning.

Also, for a Sikh all human relations are fake, therefore having evil thoughts will only add fuel to your lust and nothing else. So why! Just don't think in an evil way, thats it.

Sorry for the long reply. I am reminded of the hypocrisy that persists within "GurSikhs" and so can't help saying all I have on my mind.

Sorry if this was offensive to anyone

bhul chuk maaf

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!</span>

Bhul Chuk Maaf,

WJKK WJKF

[TejiKaur]

Gurufateh g

good posting gives a lot to think about

but i know one thing as well

the Singhs who used to stay with SAnt Jarnail Singh Ji

they used to call even their fiances penji till the day they were married even after the engagement

its true tho u shud treat everyone like sisters n bros until marrige time

but basically one thing

i think in england and the k its a fad to call everyone bhainji even if they are older or much younger than you

here in new york unless a guy is like 2 or 3 plus years older than me we just use eachothers names

even if they are like a brother

here callling someone bhain ji or bhaji makes them feel old lol

vase my friends and i have a perfect chart

21 and older we say didi g bhain g veer g

30 and older we say auti uncle

married - depends on age but if in 20s didi g bhaji

married with kids -aunti uncle

gray hair-bibi g bhapu g

lol this is our classification chart

but sometimes i feel we shud use the british system of everyone being bhainjis lol

Gurufateh g

good posting gives a lot to think about

but i know one thing as well

the Singhs who used to stay with SAnt Jarnail Singh Ji

they used to call even their fiances penji till the day they were married even after the engagement

its true tho u shud treat everyone like sisters n bros until marrige time

but basically one thing

i think in england and the k its a fad to call everyone bhainji even if they are older or much younger than you

here in new york unless a guy is like 2 or 3 plus years older than me we just use eachothers names

even if they are like a brother

here callling someone bhain ji or bhaji makes them feel old lol

vase my friends and i have a perfect chart

21 and older we say didi g bhain g veer g

30 and older we say auti uncle

married - depends on age but if in 20s didi g bhaji

married with kids -aunti uncle

gray hair-bibi g bhapu g

lol this is our classification chart

but sometimes i feel we shud use the british system of everyone being bhainjis lol

[xHarinder_singh]

I personally dont like to use the word bhainnjee much. Sometimes I use the word bhainn for someone who is straightforward and honest kaur. In general, I like to call people 'tussin', 'singhnee jee', 'bibi jee' etc....

'Didi' is a very nice word and I use it for my elder sister.

[mskcan]

Pyaar naal bolo,

:vaheguru: