Love Before Marriage

[london001]

How many women stay with their husbands despite violence because divorce would be considered shameful. Your post doesn't seem to consider the thousands of sikh women who've had arranged marriages but have had to endure violence and drunken behaviour because they've had no option.

[jassa]

Arranged marriage ??? arrange marriages dont exist any more ... lets just go 50 years back to know what was an arrange marraige ... husband and wife only able to see each other after marriage in most of the cases ... they didnt had any say ... no one will ask them you liked the girl or boy ... that was an arrange marriage ... today the so called arranged marriages ... girls and boys talk to each other they go out to understand each other better ... the only diffence between so the arrange marriages today and love marriage is that your parents arrange the first meeting and in other u arrange your first meeting urself ... and that doesnt matter ... i cant see any other difference ... am i missing something ???

[london001]

jassa you're right - arranged marriages now are more like introductions. you speak to each other, see each other, ask questions and then decide for yourself whether or not you're a good match. I think this is soo much better than being told this is the person you will marry. :rolleyes:

[TheSuperbell]

Well yess i suppose your right on the arrange marriages historically Jassa. However there still a difference between love and arrange marriages.

For example in love marriage is an unplanned event and unexpected reaction (feelings) towards the person, which ultimately causes a relationship. It's not "arranged", where as arrange marriages in some sense is a planned incident, where the reaction towards your partner is expected (there is historical change, however the principal is still the same).

Ok. ....and before we move on i don't want to have a debate on if everything is written and nothing is planned. In Sikhi we don't believe in....our lives are written and we are all destined....blaa blaaa...well that's what i've been told.

Back to the point arrange marriages today still hold the same principal but only different as the Girl or Boy can now "chose" whom they would like to spend the rest of their lives with.

I was talking in general with Sikhi, it's different within our culture as dating and relationships are prohibited in some sense. Therefore the statistic within our own community are varied.

The Superbell

[Khalasthan86]

i mean its ok if you love your relatives, but not your "sisters / brothers" in a sexual love...

[Papi]

^ A marriage can't stand on its own without Sikhi? Are you high on something?!!! What about the countless non-Sikhs who successfully have very loving marriages until death...Talk about not thinking outside the box :6

HAHAHAH, talk about ignorance. Thanks for the repitition.

What the... :6

[TheSuperbell]

i mean its ok if you love your relatives, but not your "sisters / brothers" in a sexual love...

Loolllll sometimes you need to know when to shut up...!!! Speak respectfully boii, and stop embedding Muslim culture within this forum J

[jonyvats]

GOD... gave us us love..... Marriage manukh ne bnai hai.... is taan bss riti rivaj ae....... ruhhan de milan nu hi marriage khnde ne......... SHYD.... j me glt aw taan sidhe raah te pao g... :respect:

[jkvlondon]

GOD... gave us us love..... Marriage manukh ne bnai hai.... is taan bss riti rivaj ae....... ruhhan de milan nu hi marriage khnde ne......... SHYD.... j me glt aw taan sidhe raah te pao g... :respect:

Waheguru ji gave us EVERYTHING , concept of life, rites of passage Nam Rakhna Sanskar , Anand Karaj, Amrit sanskar, Antim Sanskar. What everyone keeps bleating about as Love is not , because it is conditional ...the only true love is unconditional and that is divine Love . That is why Ninth Patshah Dhan Dhan Guru Teg Bahadur ji says 'jagat mein jhooti dekhi preet' ...

The point of marriage is provide emotional/ spiritual sangat to attain true aim of life , to provide one partner to be intimate with so kaam remains within bounds of rehit of sikhi . Guru Sahiban showed us by doing parkarma of Bani that is the true centre of life for a sikh , the anchor in this treacherous world-ocean . Just because you think you are in 'love' it is not really relevant to sikh Marriage because the concept is so different from all other marriage ceremonies in the world ...in terms of making both souls equally bonded to Waheguru not like the others who bind a woman to subjugation under the man , and destine her to serve him to attain any good points to justify her existence. The whole concept of pati parmeshwar is released to it's true meaning which is the two sikhs' souls (brides) are joined to the task of union with Akal Purakh (husband)nnot the manmukh twist that exists.

[lsingh]

The social networks have fallen apart and many of the young Sikhs have little confidence in the older generation finding them a partner.Many Gursikhs youth have been caught out in not having anyway of finding a partner without having to resort to dating. Something the younger Sikh groups to focus on and facilitate introductions.