Sikh Living A Life In Two Boats - Help Me Find A Way Out!

[baljeevan]

Guru roop sadh sangat ji, please accept my fateh,

WJKK, WJKF

Daas wud like to share some important issues he is facing in his personal life and hopes the sangat can help daas find a way out.

I am 27, married and currently a patit in my Sikhi.

I am facing some internal battles at present and I'm finding it hard to find a way out.

I wud describe myself as a very western orientated Sikh in that I luv my way of dressing and music.

Recently I started cutting my beard coz i didn't feel comfortable with it (I used to tie it but still it wud fall down or give me hassle (as I honestly felt). And all the time I found my mind pre-occupied with thinking 'oh is it in place', 'is hasn't fallen has it' or keep checking the mirror.

This frustration led mt to cut it coz keepin it open I felt uncomfortable esp. at work or when in places there were lots of whites. I was never strong to think oh who cares, I luv my guru.

Though never thinking this way, my love for Sikh with his kirpa has been positive since childhood. For example: keeping my hair during teenagehood, forever loving my turban and doing small sikhi things.

However college, uni and going thru a string of jobs, I became gora like minded. Listening to B Spears etc.

But then I found these things weren't for me as it damaged my Sikhi so bad, that I cut my hair (I wasn't amirtdhari then).

With waheguru's grace things turned round quicky. Within 3 weeks I decided to keep my hair and take Amrit which I did the same year.

Afters 4 years of staying amritdhari, 2day again I find myself in the same boat.

Only this time its only the beard thats gone. You guys can call me crazy but I want to re-take Amrit.

But my mind keeps sayin 'oh no keep cuttin ur beard'. I know I have to give up something to gain something.

There is amrit sanchaar this sunday at park ave gurdwara, southall. I wud like to go but my mind doesn't feel 100% ready. Its only 90% there I think.

If I re-take it I don't wanna b in the same sitaution in the future. If I don't then I won't feel my sense of belonging within me. Is there a way out?

Thnx - n.e mistakes plz forgive.

[AmarjitKaur]

Veerji, my belief is that Guru hai jo tuhanu is kabal banaunda ke tusi amrit chako, and guru hee hai jo is kabal banauda ke tusin amrit nibhao. Sade kare karaye kujh nahi je hunda.

Waheguru da naam layo, te every time you do ardas, guru nu benetiyan karde raho ke, tuhanu muR ke sikhi val lave, and tuhanu himmat bakhashe ke tuhadi sikhi tuhade ang sang ho ke nibhave.

Zindgee da tatt hai so far, ke mere kariya karayian kujh nahi je hoyia ya hoNa, guru chahunda hai, taa hee hunda.

Guru chahe taa meree sikhi ik din vich chhadva deve, par beg karida hai guru age, ke please kade eh na hoN dayee. Apne charna de naal laa ke rakhi..n. (btw, got tears somehow, I don't know why).

So don't feel depressed or down jee, Just have your hands folded infront of GURU Granth sahib jee and get on your knees and beg to give you amrit dee dat back and this time, leave it upto Guru to have you stay amritdhari until your last breath with your pakki rehat mariyada.

Guru ang sang hai taan, duniya dee koi takat tuhada amrit nahi chhuRva sakdee. Go for it, but never think its you who is taking amrit or making it work out. Guru is making you capable, only then its happening. You may not be good with your rehat somewhere else as well, thats why Guru jee ne eh daat tuhantho kho layee hai. So find that out and work on it with Guru's grace.

[HeatSikhingMissile]

Get your feet out of both boats and onto the firm dock, the dock being your soul, the strength rests not on the physical appearance but how strong one is internally first, the physical manifestation comes after that. Look more into the philosophy, bani and naam, then and only then will you have the strength and will to not be challenged when you're feeling "iffy" after having taken amrit.