Finding Someone To Marry

[Papi]

The first step starts from you. Make a resolution that you won't fall into the chakkarview of Kaam. Only then you are eligible to find a pure spouse for yourself. But if you can't keep control on this vice, don't go hunting for untouched spouse for yourself either. YOu don't deserve one.

:D

[superduper]

hi,

There are good people and bad people everywhere.

I don't want someone to mother me, but I'd like a girl who'll want to live with my parents, who'll teach our kids how to speak punjabi etc.

I was just trying to understand what process most people go through to find a girl from india - like i said, i don't have much family there so asking my family to find someone for me isn't an option.

[Guest Bloom]

Amritdharis Also Put Up Their Matrimonials on Sikhnet. So, I am assuming that Amritdharis sometimes Find Their Partner on Sikhnet Matrimonials.

I Personally Do Not Trust People Easily, But…

Chardi Kala!

[AmarjitKaur]

Dont worry jee. You will find someone soon. You can't predict where u would end up finding person. It could be in india or in where u are located now. Its very hard to say.

Just pay attention to other things in life as studies or career. When right time comes for you, babaji would make things happen for you. Don't be fixedated about this or that kind of girl. Always be flexible in life. More fixedated you become about anything in life, more harder the life gets. Things happen the way they are meant to happen anyways, more flexible you are easy it is for you to accept them. Always remember this tuk in Gurbani, comes in the beginning of Japuji sahib, "Hukmei under sabh ko, bahar hukam na koi, nanak hukamei je boojhei tan "

Nothing wrong with wanting to have girl living with your family, but also be flexible if her parents ever need your assistance, you won't think like you are assisting, you would think like you are taking care of your responsibility of taking care of parents as her parents would be your parents too after marriage as your parents would be her parents (as you would want her to take them as).

marriage is both way road, not one way only. Its give and take. Its about loving, caring and above all respecting.

anyways, when your number comes to loose your freedom, you will know. Don't worry too much about it.

I usually go with Gurdas Maan's this line "vakat ton pahilan, kismat ton jiada na miliya na milNa maana"

So be patient and don't be frustrated. Channelize your energy more towards collecting some naam dhan.

[PAL 07]

DO NOT GET MARRIED IN INDIA !!!!!!!

I got married in india and the girl and there family duped us into believing she was the ideal gursikh......when she came over to the UK the first thing she did was throw away the kirpaan....THERE IS A LOOP HOLE IN THE UK LAW THAT ANYONE WHO CLAIMS SHE IS A VICTIN OF DOMESTIC ABUSE CAN GET PERMANENT STAY IN THE UK..ALL THAT THEY ARE INTERESTED IN IS UK CITIZENSHIP...SO EVERYONE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[suki233]

the problem is if you did anything bad i.e. sleep around drink, smoke etc in your younger days then people always find out.

there is one person who lives near where I live and cant get married, as a youth he used to get into fights and dropped out of uni in the first year, he started a business, (and supposedly through tax evasion) he is now a millionaire

He now keeps his dhari, goes to the gudwara and has grown up a lot, he has seen a lot of girls to get an arranged marriage, but they all say no when they hear of his past from other people, even though he is now a nice person and his parents are great.

For amritdharis I know its pretty easy to get married, the girl basically tells there dad of a amritdhari boy they know of through sikhi camps, sikh activities etc, there parants meet up(usually amritdhari them selves) and then they decide yes or no on the spot.

for mona the procedure is usually to meet someone you like preferably in uni, get to know her, and if the relationship lasts then the boy and gurl tell there parents, they meet up, do a background check on the girl and the family to make sure everything is good and then eventually get married. Or through word of mouth, a middleman/bechola, tells the girls/boys family of someone looking to get married they meet up and then decide yes or no. All of the slappers that sleep around in uni never get anywhere, I know MANY GIRLS who are in there 30's and still living at home because of the stunts they used to pull when they were younger, even tho they have really good jobs and have now matured alot

although many dont always work, they are usually based on having the same sort of degree, i.e. doctors only marrying someone who is dentistry, pharamcist etc, rather then if the people actually get on which is why many marriages fall apart after the first 2 years. I went to a wedding where they paid 50k to get gurdas mann to sing, 6 months later they got divorced.

Another thing about amritdharis, basically 2 amritdharis asked there parents if they could marry eachother, after meeting the boy had to ask some sort of baba from india if it was ok for him to marry this girl, (the baba in india had never met the girl or knew anything about her) he said they must get married within 6 months or call the whole thing off???????????? WTH is all that about.

I also went to someones house a few weeks ago an akhandpart at a amritdhari house, he said we had to matha dekh infront of a painting of a baba (no one famous i.e. bhinderanwale or baba takhur singh) just some dude he goes to when he is ill, he said the baba in the picture wasnt even amritdhari although he looked like one, but we were made to matha dekh to him before going into the room where the SGGSJ was kept.

If someone can explain the picture of the baba and the baba who decides why they only have 6 months to get married It wpoul be appreciated

[Ishkaran]

^ Reminds me of he Bollywood movie "Singh is King" , recollect that ungli-walle baba. . haha .. these baba's and all , ridiculous ppl . .

[SunSingh]

the problem is if you did anything bad i.e. sleep around drink, smoke etc in your younger days then people always find out.

there is one person who lives near where I live and cant get married, as a youth he used to get into fights and dropped out of uni in the first year, he started a business, (and supposedly through tax evasion) he is now a millionaire

He now keeps his dhari, goes to the gudwara and has grown up a lot, he has seen a lot of girls to get an arranged marriage, but they all say no when they hear of his past from other people, even though he is now a nice person and his parents are great.

For amritdharis I know its pretty easy to get married, the girl basically tells there dad of a amritdhari boy they know of through sikhi camps, sikh activities etc, there parants meet up(usually amritdhari them selves) and then they decide yes or no on the spot.

for mona the procedure is usually to meet someone you like preferably in uni, get to know her, and if the relationship lasts then the boy and gurl tell there parents, they meet up, do a background check on the girl and the family to make sure everything is good and then eventually get married. Or through word of mouth, a middleman/bechola, tells the girls/boys family of someone looking to get married they meet up and then decide yes or no. All of the slappers that sleep around in uni never get anywhere, I know MANY GIRLS who are in there 30's and still living at home because of the stunts they used to pull when they were younger, even tho they have really good jobs and have now matured alot

although many dont always work, they are usually based on having the same sort of degree, i.e. doctors only marrying someone who is dentistry, pharamcist etc, rather then if the people actually get on which is why many marriages fall apart after the first 2 years. I went to a wedding where they paid 50k to get gurdas mann to sing, 6 months later they got divorced.

Another thing about amritdharis, basically 2 amritdharis asked there parents if they could marry eachother, after meeting the boy had to ask some sort of baba from india if it was ok for him to marry this girl, (the baba in india had never met the girl or knew anything about her) he said they must get married within 6 months or call the whole thing off???????????? WTH is all that about.

I also went to someones house a few weeks ago an akhandpart at a amritdhari house, he said we had to matha dekh infront of a painting of a baba (no one famous i.e. bhinderanwale or baba takhur singh) just some dude he goes to when he is ill, he said the baba in the picture wasnt even amritdhari although he looked like one, but we were made to matha dekh to him before going into the room where the SGGSJ was kept.

If someone can explain the picture of the baba and the baba who decides why they only have 6 months to get married It wpoul be appreciated

is he a radhasoami or something? better find out before you get stuck

[jassa]

what a girl/boy does before marriage is a different thing ... punjab is not as backward as u think ... with information and growth everyone wants to lifestyle shown on tv etc and most girls and boys in youth have some sort of mental relationship so this thing should not worry ... what should a person be worried is whats after marriage and one should make this thing clear ...

I m doing my masters now if i go for job next year i will be getting married if i decided to do Mtect i will be getting married may be after 3 years ... but i have accepted it and made my mind clear ... i m not worried what my future wife would be doing now ... in some relationship or drugs or whatever ... but after marraige she should be loyal, caring and list goes on ...

so its 21se century search a girl with an open mind no matter its punjab or uk ... dont accept to much or to less ... if ur good u will get a good wife ... if ur bad u will get a bad wife ... thats law of nature ...

best of luck

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

omg is it true? sex is common in punjab too now? oh god where is this world headed to :wacko:

and amarjit kaur u are absolutely right, men are several numbers higher up than women when it comes to sexual/ societal conduct problems. I know how men from india act too ( as well as out here in the west) and you know its all just a major turn off, i dont want to stuff everyone on the same boat, but yea in this kaljug era the 5 vices are very strong and obviously kaam is one of them so maybe i shouldn't be surprised at the state of punjab now.

but yea man, either way, how sad.