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Marrying A Girl Of Different Religion


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vjkk vjkf

i like a girl she is hindu and she is in love with me this girl use to b in my school i know her since those days she is nice by character and is ready to convert in sikhi [singhni] but my family is very conservative and strict my mom says if u hav to marry then it should b a girl from sikh family

the girls family has started searching a groom for her she says even her family will agree if i say yes

and the point is shes ready to take up sikhi

plz advice me wat should i do coz even my mom i think is right in her views she says today if u marry a girl of diff religion tomorrow ur kids will do the same and may b they can end being non sikhs too i agree to this coz kids do follow there parent to some extent

plz help me advice me wat should b correct step

vjkk vjkf

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why u think about kids so much ? i have seen many and many families where parents are sikh but their kids are not ... so take up a stand dont let urself be emotionaly blackmailed ... take a stand and tell ur family u are going to marry that girl instead of asking can i marry that girl ... thats it ... give them few days to think say 7 days to see talk to girl her family and decide ... if religion is the only problem dont let it be a deciding ... if ur parents can sense any other problem from girls side u should also give it a thought ... baki have a quick and strong stand and tell about it to ur parents ...

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i think "papi" has hit the nail on the head. the fact that youre here asking this question first shows me that you are aware this could be a huge mistake. how do you know she is prepared to become a singhni? has she stopped cutting her hair, eating meat etc because actions speak louder than words. if she hasnt done it yet, she most probably wont do it. also, is she just doing this for you? because that is also wrong. she shouldnt me adopting sikhi to get the guy that she "loveS" she should do it because shes in love with guroo maharaaj. i think you should seriousl discuss this with your family. if your parents say no, then you should respect their wishes. dont put them through rubbish because you never know whats going to happen, theyve been there your whole life. how do u know she wont start beating u or turn into some psycho? youre always going to need your family, put them first.

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It works both ways, I've seen Sikh parents both of same background/caste all that mumbo-jumbo get married and either the marriage breaks apart because one set of in-laws is too overbearing, or they simply don't get along with each other, and have kids that have completely moved away from Sikhi. I get that it's "two families" getting married, however at the end of the day it's you and her that have to make the decisions in regards to the direction your future kids have. If you set a strong example in your Sikhi, your kids will follow suit. I've seen Sikh parents not set the best example themselves, yet try to FORCE Sikhi on their kids, it's contradictory and kids pick up on this, thus moving farther away from gurmat, marrying outside religion and not keeping Sikhi in mind etc. etc. In a way it might be good that the parents are of different religion, they might not become to close or interfering in your marriage, which is what can happen sometimes when "two families" marry each other.

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i think "papi" has hit the nail on the head. the fact that youre here asking this question first shows me that you are aware this could be a huge mistake. how do you know she is prepared to become a singhni? has she stopped cutting her hair, eating meat etc because actions speak louder than words. if she hasnt done it yet, she most probably wont do it. also, is she just doing this for you? because that is also wrong. she shouldnt me adopting sikhi to get the guy that she "loveS" she should do it because shes in love with guroo maharaaj. i think you should seriousl discuss this with your family. if your parents say no, then you should respect their wishes. dont put them through rubbish because you never know whats going to happen, theyve been there your whole life. how do u know she wont start beating u or turn into some psycho? youre always going to need your family, put them first.

thank u for the reply bhenji yes she has stopped cutting kesh since last 2 or 3 yrs she has left eating meat also and this is all bcoz she wants 2 marry me not for guru maharaj she goes to gurudwara sahib too but for me

my mom is concerned that the next generation will do the same wat i will do today and probably they could end up being non sikh coz i did love marriage so wont b able to stop them i agree to this if i do it how will i stop my kids

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Are your parents OK with you marrying a girl/woman originally from a Sikh family who cuts her hair or otherwise discards sikhi? If so, they have absolutely no ground to stand on.

I think it is wise to think about what Papi is saying, but I would suggest at the same time that there is no strict Sikh culture about marriage between two families. I have seen intercultural families work things out in far healthier ways than so called Sikh/punjabi families. We live in a world where getting along most often has more to do with the maturity of the people involved than “cultural compatibility”. Besides, guruji’s sangat is your family, not your bloodline, race, jaat, pind, or klan.

Having said that we Punjabis are generally immature when it comes to intercultural respect. I also think we generally get a bit too proud of our own ways and ignorant and judgmental (racist actually) (& not Papi, his comment is wise) about other cultures.

There is little to go on here, but I would be a bit concerned as to the fact that you believe you are in love. With respect, it will time to know what that is. I would also be concerned to what extent that influences her choice of faith. Despite all else I say here, check that out sincerely with yourself. Nonetheless, it would not be the first time that a non-sikh person sincerely takes an independent love of sikhi, becomes a sikh and pursues a relationship with a sikh.

Those who sincerely come to Sikhi from completely outside Sikhi are an inspiration. They take me back to 1699. If we (of sikh/punjabi background) submit and give our heads to the guru, they (non-punjabi’s) climb a mountain, then give their heads to the guru.

Re your mom and ….”Your kids blah blah non-sikh blah blah”…. has your mom looked around her lately? Those claiming concern about Sikhi while throwing their guruji’s blessing of kesh down a drain or toilet!!

If this girl/woman is sincere in her pursuit of Sikhi as a Singhni, regardless of you, that is what matters.

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Are your parents OK with you marrying a girl/woman originally from a Sikh family who cuts her hair or otherwise discards sikhi? If so, they have absolutely no ground to stand on.

I think it is wise to think about what Papi is saying, but I would suggest at the same time that there is no strict Sikh culture about marriage between two families. I have seen intercultural families work things out in far healthier ways than so called Sikh/punjabi families. We live in a world where getting along most often has more to do with the maturity of the people involved than “cultural compatibility”. Besides, guruji’s sangat is your family, not your bloodline, race, jaat, pind, or klan.

Having said that we Punjabis are generally immature when it comes to intercultural respect. I also think we generally get a bit too proud of our own ways and ignorant and judgmental (racist actually) (& not Papi, his comment is wise) about other cultures.

There is little to go on here, but I would be a bit concerned as to the fact that you believe you are in love. With respect, it will time to know what that is. I would also be concerned to what extent that influences her choice of faith. Despite all else I say here, check that out sincerely with yourself. Nonetheless, it would not be the first time that a non-sikh person sincerely takes an independent love of sikhi, becomes a sikh and pursues a relationship with a sikh.

Those who sincerely come to Sikhi from completely outside Sikhi are an inspiration. They take me back to 1699. If we (of sikh/punjabi background) submit and give our heads to the guru, they (non-punjabi’s) climb a mountain, then give their heads to the guru.

Re your mom and ….”Your kids blah blah non-sikh blah blah”…. has your mom looked around her lately? Those claiming concern about Sikhi while throwing their guruji’s blessing of kesh down a drain or toilet!!

If this girl/woman is sincere in her pursuit of Sikhi as a Singhni, regardless of you, that is what matters.

vjkk vjkf

no not at all ji my parents wont allow my marriage with a girl hu is not amritdhari they seek an amritdhari singhni for me

veerjee actually she has stopped head hair she says she still shaves armpits but she has stopped cuttin head hair since 2 3 yrs

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ask your parents what they think about Bhanda Singh Bahadur or Bhagat Puran Singh...etc, who were not from Sikh families. Then ask your parents if they were somehow unworthy of marriage with a Sikh? Of course, to what extent you canvass this or ask them directly depends on your relationship with them.

By the way, don't kid yourself, she is not in love with you. She is in love with her illusion. She will only be able to determine a true liking well after many heated arguments or passive aggressive moments of silence and seeing that you leave your socks everywhere.

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vjkk vjkf

no not at all ji my parents wont allow my marriage with a girl hu is not amritdhari they seek an amritdhari singhni for me

veerjee actually she has stopped head hair she says she still shaves armpits but she has stopped cuttin head hair since 2 3 yrs

Are we right in thinking then that you are also Amritdhari then...?

If you are an Amritdhari - hopefuly your path is that of Sikhi and your goal to merge with God, is she going to be able to help you with that?

Lavan signify 2 souls from 2 bodies coming together as 1. As one, you can only walk one path. Do you both want to walk the same path and have the same goals?

Does she truly want to follow Sikhi?

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i like a girl she is hindu and she is in love with me this girl use to b in my school i know her since those days she is nice by character and is ready to convert in sikhi [singhni] but my family is very conservative and strict my mom says if u hav to marry then it should b a girl from sikh family

Ok first off... Please make sure you're not making her become a Sikh just to marry you. Changing religions unwillingly for a partner is really not worth it.

By the way you put it, it doesn't seem like she wants to become a Sikh.

i like a girl she is hindu

and the point is shes ready to take up sikhi

She is a Hindu. She's ready to take up Sikhi... She IS a Hindu. She IS ready to take up Sikhi.... She IS A HINDU. She IS READY to TAKE up SIKHI....... Ok so the reason I kinda put that down like 3 times is because SHE IS A HINDU, therefore SHE IS NOT A SIKH, therefore SHE IS NOT READY TO BECOME A SIKH, because if she was ready to become a Sikh, she would have done so by now.

What I'm tryin to say is that... If she isn't a Sikh right now, she isn't committed to Sikhi man... She really would have become a Sikh already if she was fully ok with it...and that's why I have come to believe that there is some sort of pressure on her to become Sikh..in order to marry you, I mean.

but my family is very conservative and strict my mom says if u hav to marry then it should b a girl from sikh family

LOL!!.. Even very liberal parents who are very lenient don't want their kids to marry someone from another faith. It would be very wrong for one to think that this is something that exists only in the south Asian cultures. I live where most people are either Christian or Catholic, and I'm just letting you know that most of them are liberal and very lenient, but will not accept someone who follows a different sect...not even religion, but sect.. The Christian parents don't want Catholic in-laws.

my mom i think is right in her views she says today if u marry a girl of diff religion tomorrow ur kids will do the same and may b they can end being non sikhs too i agree to this coz kids do follow there parent to some extent

It doesn't seem like you need much help from anyone regarding this marriage issue, since you've already stated that you agree/believe there will be a problem with the kids in the future, and you even gave your own reason for it.

I'm just going to be honest and say that you don't want to marry her. From your post, it's very, VERY easy to tell that you do NOT wish to marry this girl you speak of. You're worried about the kids following a certain (or having no) religion, which means that you are doubting your future relationship with this girl. You're obviously unsure about your future so there really is not much other people can suggest/offer. If you, yourself, are unsure about such important and personal matters that only you and your family would be able to figure out, then there's really nothing that the people on the forum can do.

I'm sorry if I offended you, but I believe that I had to tell you like it is......and that's just how it is........ You aint ready to marry (her) yet.

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Guest jaskaran

the biggest religoin is love ..love is the most beautiful form of GOD...plzzzzz....if its true luv....go ahead .....kyunki asi kes tan rakh de haan par saade karm kheje hunde nee oh sanu pata ne.....sikh real meanin is a true human so try to make tat girl a true human ...its ur deeds which decide ur fate

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^ How do you try to make a person a true human being ??

^ How do you try to make a person a true human ??

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