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I am truely grateful for all the replies and advice given by the sangat so far.....You have made me realise how far I am away from god at this present time....

let me give you some more info to reply to some of your replies so far.....yes i only met her 3 days ago now, it started as an innocent conversation at a friends party then hours later we were left alone by my friend and another female friend, then we kissed....but thats all...the only thing i can say is it was special, nothing sexual about it....nothing else happened.

I am 27 so i think im mature enough to get married (at least i thought i was), but if i tell my fiance now, it will embarass both families and my dad is pretty strict and would most definatley kick me out the house...I want to marry my fiance, but still cannot stop thinking about this other girl.

Im not amritdhari although I do i tye a pagh and am very proud of it, and I do drink alocohol and and trim my beard.....I have had no other contact with this girl other than text, iv not called her in the fear of saying and doing the wrong thing again...

once again I thank you all for you replies, I have some deep thinking to do...

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Guest Gupt PArdei

If we had fear of just one person becuz its harder to Fear God we would nevr do such an immoral thing,

Controling these lustful feelings is not possible for us only bani and satsangat erradicate our vikaars

Omg maya is soo strong

kwmu k®oDu sMgiq durjn kI qw qy Aihinis Bwgau ]1] rhwau ]

kaam krodhh sa(n)gath dhurajan kee thaa thae ahinis bhaago ||1|| rehaao ||

Sexual desire, anger and the company of evil people - run away from them, day and night. ||1||Pause||

If u end up in a situation with the opposite sex where feeling are present let me tell u KALJUG is gonna rape yyou of all righteous , kaljug is a time where Dharma is not easy-truthful living

Youve gotta just run from those situations

and just the thought of sleeping with a women, Jesus said is as bad as commiting Adultery

the things we do for our sexual desires

ibKY bnu PIkw iqAwig rI sKIey nwmu mhw rsu pIE ]

bikhai ban feekaa thiaag ree sakheeeae naam mehaa ras peeou ||

Renounce the tasteless water of corruption, O my companion, and drink in the supreme nectar of the Naam, the Name of the Lord.

Do jaap of this line, and do ardas or else mayas just gonna tell u to keep going on with this relationship that started two days ago

im sorry but it sickens me, |Maya and lust, im a lustful being to, but its shameful we fall for sumone when we dont even know them we fall for their looks that how ow our mentality is,

ughh narsty

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Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz

Oh yea and GROW UP YOU P***Y.

Is this really how humans, let alone Sikhs, should talk? How can anyone even let your kind come on the internet or walk this earth?

ahahah compared to what he will get/deserves, that coming from me is a gift..and dont be upset cus i dont want to talk to u , stalker, i know who u are.. i stand by everything i said, love it or hate it.

we will see when you are married and if your partner cheats on you, i wonder what lovely/thoughtful/generous words you will use? and how you will walk this earth.

pce

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Maybe she might just forgive u, some girs are like that ( but if it was me i wud make sure i beat u up really good and left u standing never to see my face again --incase ur wondering :p )--lots of spelling mistakes but im in a rush.. but yea just 2 cents from a girl.

Oh yea and GROW UP YOU P***Y.

I thought the post was indeed written by an adult, until I read that last part. It would seem that someone has stolen all the mirrors from your house...

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apologize I cannot offer much advice, for I am against any non-amritdhari having Anand Karaj.

Can you expand on it a little more please?

Yes, sure, very Briefly.

In My Opinion,

Only a Singh (a prince who is baptized by the RehitVaan Panj Pyareh) and a Kaur (a princess who is baptized by the RehitVaan Panj Pyareh) should be Having Anand Karaj. We have made Sikhi into a 'formality' but it is not This! Sikhi is a Dharma! A Lifestyle based on Truth which is Centered Around the Guru. Only Those who Adhere to the Principles of Khalsa Rehit should be having Anand Karaj.

The Singh and Kaur take four Lavaa(n) around the Guru, symbolizing their eternal faith in Guru and The Palace of Guru Only! And They embark on This Life that is Gurmat Centered, together, afresh.

Only Those who have Taken Khande-Pahul by Panj Pyareh, and are Keeping Rehit, should be having Anand Karaj! Anand Karaj is a very important part of the journey of the Aatma! This is a new beginning, a new seed! It has to be planted in Correctly! The new life must be Guru Centered (with Gurus' Rehit). If they are not ready to live in Rehat of Panj Pyareh, they are not ready for Khalsa Anand Karaj; quite simple really.

If they don't believe in Gurmat (The Gurus' Way), then Why Reduce the Beautiful Dharma of Khalsa to a Ritual for their Ego?

All the problems we have now, are because of these 'sikhs'! who killed Khalsa Dharama to accommodate their Manmatas (personal egos).

Anyone can love the Guru, and the Guru Loves All!!! But! Sikh is Sikh. Only They are Sikh, who Walk in the Gurus' Will! (Khande-Pahul Rehit). And They must do it in Prem. And Only Sikh can Have Anand Karaj around Guru Sahib!

Yes. In 'my' Gurdwara/Dharamsala, ONLY Khalsa Anand Karaj Would be Allowed!

There is no need to bring up more points, and counter points, and this and that, and that and this. My Opinion, IS my opinion. I am only responsible for My Own Jeevan, and I will give account in The True Court for Myself.

Chardi Kala!!

(and no, you cannot take four counter-lavaa(n) and have a divorce. so basically, if the person is still alive whom one had Anand Karaj with, then no other Anand Karaj can take Place! And NO you cannot murder them to Have another Anand Karaj!!! Patits Can't Have Anand Karaj Either!!!! Bloody Hell! LOL!!)

Those who had Formal Marriage(s) around Guru Sahib but were not Khande-Pahulieas Rehitdharees at the time, should Take the Panj Pyareh Khande-Pahul Amrit Now and Bring Back the Glory of The Khalsa, and Begin Living Their Life Now as Khalsa RehitDharis! Those who Made mistakes, should correct them now; Those who have the Knowledge; Should Not Make Them!!!

Anand Karaj Should Be Between Singh and Kaur, Only.

And It is Hukam for Sikhs to have Only One Spouse. Period.

Chardi Kala!!!! (again)

True Khalsa WILL Rise!!!

Lets Just be The Best Khalsa We Can Individually (or together, if married – 2 bodies, 1 soul), and Then Collectively Bring Back the Glory of The Khalsa!!

Dhan Dhan Sri GuruGranth Sahib Ji!!!!!

Dhan Dhan Dasam Patshah Bani!!!!!

Dhan Dhan RehitVaan Panj Pyareh, Khande-Pahul Amrit, and Khalsa Rehit!!!!!

Dhan Dhan Bhai Gurdas Ji Bani!!!!!

Dhan Dhan Bhai Nand Lal Singh Bani!!!!!

Dhan Dhan Bhai Gurdas Singh Bani!!!!!

Dhan Dhan Gurus' Raags!!!!! Dhan Dhan Gurus' Instruments!!!!!

Dhan Dhan Seva!!!!! Dhan Dhan Simran!!!!!

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Veerji seems like you dont wana tell anyone, you really need to reflect inside yourself what made you pass that point in your mind with another girl regardless of what you did with her, when you commited to marry someone, married life is a life commitment, perhaps this girl is good for your spirtually.

My own opinon is this girl that this nex girl that kissed you gonna cause your trouble, so be a man, do the responsible thing. Remember your in a relationship its not just about you its also about them. So dont break that girls heart, your old man seems to have it planned, you said your dad would chuck

you out the house, you knew the line you crossed. But okay get it together, move on have some compassion for this girl your marrying. Veerji I believe in redemption and forgivness, so I can forgive you, but can you forgive yourself and move on, you need to understand there is nothing between you 2

except a small moment of lust, everyone has those slips but fix on the bigger relationship with your wife to be you have to be there for your wife in many ways, veerji I won't say anything about kesh or taking amrit but veerji when it comes to sharab this can come inbetween relationships they say in

some punjabi saying that home which has sharab will never have any peace(sukh). So maybe you need to talk with your fiance about your feelings for her, it may seem you don't really like her and maybe your lying to yourself in which case you can't ruin her life or your own or any kids to bes. Get it together veerji

and reflect on what you want, as I said before Only you truly have the answer to your own question. Reflect and Meditate.

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Just a couple more things. Even if a person is non-amritdhari; Please do not do the Bujjer Kureits! These affect the body and soul, long term!! Even if non-amritdhari! a) Please do not commit adultry b) Please do not take alcohol/tobacco/drugs/etc., c) Please do not consume meat, fish, eggs, etc..(no need to argue with me on rehat maryada please) d) please respect your kesh as you walk towards Guru.

Guru Loves All, Still. And, All Love Guru! Lets All Become The Best Khalsa/Sikh We Can!

Dhan Dhan RehitVaan Panj Pyareh, Khande-Pahul Amrit, and Khalsa Rehit!!

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Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?'

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of

what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT

in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women)

that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is

lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks

really good when you are not getting it at all in your current

relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good

80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something

better with the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with

having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really

NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

'Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona

Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also

understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is

not'

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be

more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer.

Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will

need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse

ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only

have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a

husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is

melancholic by nature.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry

laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha .

. . ..’

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling

of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales

representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high

heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet

type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame

who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all

the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have

weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy

as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other.

The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you

already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.

About your friends.

About your children.

About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks

through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's

missing? 'They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in

porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got

personal videos!'

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life

like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know

that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first

class -- because they are not riding in a private Laser Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are,

you are first class!

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