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Why Do I Exist?


Guest confused
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Guest confused

Gurfateh everyone,

I in my early twenties and took amrit when I was 10. To the outside world I look like I tick all the boxes, I am a "practising" sikh... but I am hollow, I have not kept rehat as I should have.

Intellectually I am bright, akaalpurakh has gifted me with a sharp mind, perhaps too sharp for my own good. I am the kind of person that like fully understand/grasp a concept, in my case this is specially applied to religion.. therefore when I find gaps in my own knowledge, I lapse, begin to ask more questions and dig my self deeper and deeper.

I'm antisocial and seek assistance from learned spiritual souls who can guide me. I don't regularly go to the gurughar because all that I see there is pure pakhand from modern day sikhs, this is because I have seen the background politics from a very very young age. When I go, I like to take darshan of mahraaj and leave asap.

As far as I know, we're here based on our past karam (actions) having been through chaurasi lakh joon (reincarnations). What I don't understand is...

1) why was I, the entity created by akaalpurakh?

2) once created, what did I, the entity do to be pushed away from akalpurakh?

3) we're here in this life based on karma.. our family, nature and everything else is determined based on our past karam, so essentially this life is a test, for me to prove my self worthy of attaining the true lord, but my question is, why am I being tested in the first place? I don't know what I did?

I understand if we all remembered our past actions then religion would become "easy" but surely a, kind, just, loving creator wants this? I also understand that the maya jaal is created by the panj bhoot & kalyug working in league together.

The problem with me is that I know the answers to my questions lie within Gurbani, I know the purpose of my life, but I find myself pursuing a degree, working, watching movies, being with friends and generally immersing in duniyadaari and being influendced by the panj bhoot, I find my self being pushed away further and further, what maarey karam I must possess?

So much annoys me about sikhi now.

5-6 Generations ago we had dasam paatshah with us, and now, we're not even clear on small issues. Khalsa was suposed to be united, we have no unity at all. What really ticks me is, when I took amrit, I was taught a different chaupai sahib and a different rehraas sahib?? what on earth is/was happening?

I know i've taken my own faults and started to look for functional issue's within our religion/community to satisfy my own need to question, so I can justify my actions. But I know I need help to get back on track and perhaps someone here can share their wisdom to help me back on the path. I have a lot to ask, I guess this is my way to seek someone out.. I really am very dysfunctional.

PS> If you don't understand my questions, don't bother replying... you will just make things worse...

Gurfateh.

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If I was you I would talk to a spiritually high Gurmukh in your community with these questions, they are the type of questions that a) need to be posed to someone with a Jeevan rather than anonymous youth and b) need to be discussed in depth face to face rather than as a exchange of messages over the internet.

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Out of 84 lakh joons (incarnations)

Human race is given highest status.

Nobody know's what karam we did in the past or even in this life.

But Almighty has given an equal opportunity to all in order to get out of life & birth cycle.

How one chooses to spend hours, days, months (of life time) is entirely personal decision.

For example lot many students attend a school but some choose to learn, work hard, stay committed and end up getting good grades & certificate. Some waste time in unproductive activities and blame others but in realty their life choices have led them astray.

Those who choose to put faith in God and learn how to lead a Truthful life from Satguru make their

"Lok Sukhiye Parlok Suhele" i.e get best of both worlds.

So will advice that you start reading, contemplating & following Guru Granth Sahib jeeo.

Keep a positive outlook, until God takes away breath of life He will take care of us. Just follow Gurmat and remember that everything takes time you cannot become a Doctor, Scholar over night have patience and remain dedicated your efforts will not go waste.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

There is ONE solution:

Forget all questions, hands together ARDAAS, Ask for Vaheguroo, ask for HELP, ask to be Guru Ji's slave forever, ask him for a HUKAMNAMA. Take the hukamnama (either if you have access to maharaj's saroop, or take one on sikhitothemax). Once again forget all questions, just read the hukamnama with love as if guru ji is right there saying it to YOU personally. And thats it, just concentrate on all that is written in the hukamnama, meditate on its message, embed it into your breaths, have no wish for any answers to anything, just concentrate on that hukamnama and its essence because that is exactly what that one who created you, who loves you, who knows more about you than yo do, wants you to think about. AND THATS IT. Don't worry if you dont see what relevence it has to you, just have faith in it and keep your mind on it.

This is the solution, if Guru Gobind Singh Ji was here in his human body, all we'd have to do to fix our problems would be to tell him and just listen to what he says. WE CAN STILL DO THIS, as shown above.

Love from a kutha

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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Guest thesame

vjkk vjkf,

i'm like exactly the same, except maybe worse. couldn't be bothered to sign in but i'll pm you when i do...

as has been said above - sangat.

but when you're like that, it's hard to go to sangat as well - although it is the right way. i don't have a car, but if i did, i would probably go to random gurdware out of my town, just do matha tekh and sit down, listen to kirtan/katha etc. then get up and go home at the end, mainly in evening/rainsabhai. if possible do some seva, maybe ease it in.

aint read your questions properly, i'll have a go when i haven't got so much work on. i'm sure parts will remain unanswered, or i'll give my opinion, even after this thread peters out.

vjkk vjkf

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Guest confused

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh.

I'm a big hypocrite guys, I can't STAND the people in my locality because I see through them. They wear the baana and "talk" the talk, but I can see them for who they really are, my own haumai inside me then starts to tell me "yes, I'm better than them, I don't pretend". But the truth is I am hollow like them. I am in no position to judge anyone else.

Like I said in my first post, I KNOW what i'm supposed to do, but I find I can't do it. I need to be in the guru's sharan yet every time I try to take a step closer to the guru I find my self pushed away.

I don't even want to live any more, I feel the more time I spend here, the more of a sinner I will become. There's no easy way out though, being trapped in moh maiya, I can't even choose to end my own life.

My soul is crying out to me though - I can feel it, yet I continue to let it suffer. What kind of sick paapi am I? I don't know what to do guys, It's in my NATURE to question... how do I change that?

Writing this out, knowing someone else will read this and think of me gives me the greatest hope... maybe that will lead me to peace. The guru doesn't ignore a gursikh's ardaas, so I request you humbly, please please please please think of me if you can when you do ardaas today, akaalpurakh himself will shed light on me. I'm so sorry, that I am so selfish but I have no other option.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh.

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh.

I'm a big hypocrite guys, I can't STAND the people in my locality because I see through them. They wear the baana and "talk" the talk, but I can see them for who they really are, my own haumai inside me then starts to tell me "yes, I'm better than them, I don't pretend". But the truth is I am hollow like them. I am in no position to judge anyone else.

Like I said in my first post, I KNOW what i'm supposed to do, but I find I can't do it. I need to be in the guru's sharan yet every time I try to take a step closer to the guru I find my self pushed away.

I don't even want to live any more, I feel the more time I spend here, the more of a sinner I will become. There's no easy way out though, being trapped in moh maiya, I can't even choose to end my own life.

My soul is crying out to me though - I can feel it, yet I continue to let it suffer. What kind of sick paapi am I? I don't know what to do guys, It's in my NATURE to question... how do I change that?

Writing this out, knowing someone else will read this and think of me gives me the greatest hope... maybe that will lead me to peace. The guru doesn't ignore a gursikh's ardaas, so I request you humbly, please please please please think of me if you can when you do ardaas today, akaalpurakh himself will shed light on me. I'm so sorry, that I am so selfish but I have no other option.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh.

Im not that much into spirituality, but I am trying and still learning. So I will try to share with you from my own experiences

I think you are overly too concerned about what others are doing. You should really focus on your own atma. Without understanding your own atma you will continue to be in doubt.

jn nwnk ibnu Awpw cInY imtY n BRm kI kweI ]2]1]

jan naanak bin aapaa cheenai mittai n bhram kee kaaee ||2||1||

O servant Nanak, without knowing one's own self, the moss of doubt is not removed. ||2||1||

Originally we originated from GOds light but our soujourn to this world has made up completely forgetful. We (I) have become so uncultured we dont even know true ourselves.

mn qUM joiq srUpu hY Awpxw mUlu pCwxu ]

man thoo(n) joth saroop hai aapanaa mool pashhaan ||

O my mind, you are the embodiment of the Divine Light - recognize your own origin.

We have made this temporary place our home and have become complete foreigners to our true home. We have become so foreign to this original source that we have begun to live like animals. Thus our mind has become so blunt that it has been darkened from its original light. Without understanding ourselves this foreign mentality will continue to prevail. We will keep coming to this foreign land untill we reach our true home thus our death will be a true death. Bhagat Kabir states

kbIrw mrqw mrqw jgu muAw mir iB n jwnY koie ]

kabeeraa marathaa marathaa jag muaa mar bh n jaanai koe ||

Kabeer, the world is dying - dying to death, but no one knows how to truly die.

AYsI mrnI jo mrY bhuir n mrnw hoie ]1]

aisee maranee jo marai bahur n maranaa hoe ||1||

Whoever dies, let him die such a death, that he does not have to die again. ||1||

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I'm antisocial and seek assistance from learned spiritual souls who can guide me. I don't regularly go to the gurughar because all that I see there is pure pakhand from modern day sikhs, this is because I have seen the background politics from a very very young age. When I go, I like to take darshan of mahraaj and leave asap.

Ignore the politics and go for Maharaj's darshan and the kirpa of the satsangat. Since you have so many questions, you should go listen to katha. If not, at least sit and listen to kirtan and be uplifted.

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