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A Dating Situation...


Guest ImStuck

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Guest ImStuck

Hey,

I know this is possibly not the best place to go for advice, but i dont know where else to turn now..

Well I am 18 yrs old and i was born and brought up in the US. I come from a religious family but we are given our space, meaning i can cut my hair and what not becaiscally my parents believe that religion shouldnt be forced upon us so I do go to the GW everyday and I read gurmukhi, I am not a amritdhari and do plan on becoming one until im not stronger in my sikhi...

My issue at hand is that I didnt date before i turned 18, but one day on Facebook I started to talk and then we decided to meet. The first time I met him was at a John Mayor Concert during the day and there we talked for a little while, but while we were together he paid a lot of attention to other girls around and my best friend was there with me and she was the one who had told me to meet him because he looked nice, but after his behavior that day she didnt want me meeting him anymore she said that he looked like a player to her.

But I liked him and I said a lot of guys here are like that and I refused to take her advice. The second time we met was at night and we were with soem friends but when we went on a walk things progressed really quickly. I met him a couple fo times after that as well at movies and what not. But now i ask him are we officially going out and he says no. But when i tell i dont want to meet you anymore because we are just friends then he says no we are husband and wife...and he tells me all the time he loves me...

im so confused, cuz one side i think every guy here in the city is like this (i kno a lot of guys and they all do that to their gfs) and then i think no he is playing me and i should leave him (which ive tried many times btw) anotehr thign is hes always so jealous, like he checks my texts and my phone logs to see who and what im talking about and then he asks me if im cheating on him..how can i cheat on him if we are nto even together?

I NEED HELP!

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leave him

concentrate on your sikhi

boys will come and go sister, your sikhi won't

he obviously "thang"/perv if hes with two girls and still looking at other girls!

you should of clocked on straight away sister,

be careful sister, last thing you wanna do is loose your izzat for a animals desire,

be careful!

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Maybe your own circle of friends would be a better place for this question rather than a Sikhism forum - from a Sikh perspective dating is not allowed so the only advice you would get here is that you shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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HI

I know dating is against sikhi and to become a good sikh you must put an end to this sort of stuff. This will not help your jeevan in any way and also your state of find will start to wonder and other things will happen with or without ur saying.

Anyways this guy sounds like a bit of a stalker/nutter. Tell him you don't want to speak to him or date him any longer, then get someone else involved if he keeps on following u. I know it will be hard but is there anybody in ur family, or other friends just to give him a firm warning u know what i mean lol.

BTW care to tell us where u live so someone can help just in case.

Is this what you where looking for i mean the above answer or was it why you date and how to stop or if dating is right/wrong.

Sorry I read my answer and thought that it might be wrong care to explain the precise question.

Also last point the guy sounds like a nutter keep away from him.

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vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

You're right, this isn't the best place to post about dating advice :) but now that you're here let's see how it goes.

Firstly a quote from a friend " :rolleyes: The guy is clearly possessive and she is clearly obssessed."

You don't need help it's pretty straightforward. He's being an <banned word filter activated>, leave him straight away.

Now onto the chastisement! Just kidding : )

You should ask yourself why you haven't already left him. Try and figure out why you want to date someone. Try and find out what you want from life and whether doing this will help in any way, shape or form. A lot of people say they'd like to become Amritdhari when their Sikhi is stronger but in order to make that happen WE need to take action and make it stronger! If you're serious about that then explore it further. You can always ask people here and at the Gurdwara Sahib more about Sikhi, and there's plenty of information on the internet too. It'll be much more satisfying and fruitful than pursuing guys like that.

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

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Guest akaallll

ok i hardly ever post on here, but i think i know this situation. Im a guy and i know wat these idiots are like. im not going to give you an answer from a sikhi veiw but just generally

you need to stop seeing him, dating a man who isnt able to commit is trouble

and do go pestering him and literaly 'make ' him say hell commit to you, you already know hes a player.

a guy whos checking out other girls or isnt commiting is lost, and mentally unstable, he will go after any girl who gives leads him on,

he will end up leaving you

dont get hurt. please,

if your really in doubt dont contact him or meet him, tell him your busy, jus back of a bit.........

and be careful on facebook please...........

oh and ask yourself what you want? are you wanting a fling? or a life long partner? .........be careful....... always do ardas to guruji and dont stop your banis

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If u want to get serious with a guy who actual has a moral character, leave this guy get serious about sikhi and leave this dating mess,

you should marry a singh,

My dad use to say to us when we were teenagers that you should marry a singh becuz theyre afraid of God (so they wont cheat and drink and be abusive)

I take it as priceless advice,!

Youve got to stop thinking bout getting into sikhi you should just take the step,

tell ur "bf" that im gonna start keeping my hair or sumthing bout u turning religous trust me he'll leave hahahaha

be like i like to be natural and freak him out ;)

theres alotta tactics to make a guy leave watch "how to loose a guy in 10 days"

The reason u havent left him yet is becuz he says he doesnt want u to leave him which gives u hope that he actually cares about u but the truth is hes just using u, he has no sharm he cant even act like hes a decent guy, like if hes on a date with u and his atention is on other girls then he oviously doesnt hav his head staight on,,

Give your self sum respect and staying with this guy isnt gonna take u anywhere

girls get attached to guy they want atention sumone to tell em their beautiful and sumone that loves em

but its all false its all bullS hit you kno wut hes after

guys these days only want one thing, their animals

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hey kiddo,

this guy sounds like a typical guy from a bigg city :) most of my friends are players and i can tell you right now from experience this guy is playing you, the reason hes not committin to you is because either he has a girlfriend and your just on the side or he doesnt think that your worth the trouble of a relationship...dont waste your time and move on...cuz your just an option in his life and he knows that...he knows all he has to do is tell you that he loves and he'll change and then you will melt and things go back to the way they were....been there done that...take my advice leave him

if your into dating atleast date a guy that respects you for who you are and not what you look like...i kno physical attraction is the first form of attraction but you gotta move on from that and the relationship has to have depth...

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In My Opinion,

Dating Advice on a Sikhi Site?!?!?!?

Dating is NOT ACCEPTED in Sikhi!! Certain Karmas Can Change the ENTIRE course of Your Life!!!! NO DATING!!!

Learn about Gurmat and Make your Way to RehitVaan Panj Pyareh, Khande-Pahul Amrit and Khalsa Rehit! Live for Gurmat Your ENTIRE Life. Start Now. Not Later.

Chardi Kala!!!

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Only one advise from one sister to another "Leave Him" you deserve a lot better, you will only realize this after you leave him when the best will come to you. Just concentrate on sikhi and try to go in sanget as much as possible,that will only help you. Please don't let anybody spoil your soul! By reading your article I feel that your heart is against this guy, so please go ahead and take this step!!!

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Guest londonerjatt

listen young girl :)

you shouldn't fall into the trap of being controlled by a man you aren;t married to. You shouldn;t even consider yourself a partner if you aren;t married, not if you consider yourself traditional. MAny traditonal families are not that religious.

It is just not very honourable to be someone's partner without marriage, do not put yourself into this vulnerability. A man that respects you shall marry you first before making claims of partnership!

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