Feel Like Dying

[Guest Gupt]

I am extremely depressed, I can’t find a job it’s been ages, when I finally found one they cancelled it the day before I was meant to start. The girl I was meant to marry left me because she said her dad won’t let marry out of caste. I told her for two years to ask her dad, she said it would he would be fine with it but then a few months ago she said her will not be okay with it and she cut me of her life in a matter of days. When I met her few years ago she was extremely depressed and I helped her through that time. I feel that people have always taken advantage of me. My friends used me when they needed help for work then stopped talking to me. I feel really lonely. My family always have a go at me for not working; I am trying my best to find a job. I no longer wake up for amrit vela and my motivation has gone, I feel so lonely. I can’t concentrate on anything anymore, my mind is always thinking and I can’t sleep properly. I feel nauseas through out the day. I feel like I would be better of dead.

[Matheen]

Do you read any Gurbani?

[guruvah]

Vaheguru jee ka Khalsa Vaheguru jee kee fateh!

Make friends with Gurbani and Naam. You will find no better friend. Friends and relatives are yours, based on your own previous Karma. No one can make or lose friends. It's all the play of HIS Hukam.

Try to make yourself busy by reading Gurmat books or participating on Gurmat forums like gurmatbibek.com(in dept discussions on Naam are taking place there...some gursikhs provide amazing replies regarding gurmat) .Also stay busy with work(any house chores/applying for job). Don't allow yourself to be influenced by the negative vibes you get from people around you.

Do ardass.

[Guest **]

you know that saying about how you have to go through a few bad apples before you find the right one? well that girl, she was a bad apple, it is all karam, who knows what you did to her in your past life that she now did this to you, trust me, we have all been heartbroken, whether it was due to us venturing out to find someone, school, parents etc...

so what, you have two things right now that arent going for you, how can you take that and blame your whole life for being sucky? is there really not even one thing you can say you have? do you not have this human form, which gurbani says devis and devte beg for? they BEG for this human life from god, do you know that?

sure i have my depressing times too, but we should remind ourselves what an oppurtunity we have, remember that nothing lasts forever, we should take joy in what we have at the moment, friends dont always stay, the seasons dont always stay , how can we expect material things to say, only true sangat will stay because in true sangat resides god.

if that girl was a singhnee do you think she would have denounced our gurus teachings of "no caste" and leave you that quick? maybe it is the people we surround ourselves by and our expectations of them,

if she can do that to you today, would you really want a life partner like that? who can get up and leave in a second?

trust god and pray to god to bring gursikhs into your life, and to bring you anand, happiness and peace.

find the good in the bad

last year was such a bad year for me, so mcuh bad luck, but slowly as things progress, i realize those things were so good for me because in the future god was holding better and brighter things for me and let me tell you it is the same for you

a job isnt life, when you die you arent going to take your job with you, no reason to shed tears on useless waste of space like that girl or others who are temporary,

you are naturally at an age whree you want a life partner and you long for that satisfaction of having someone to be with you permanently, trust me you will, just wait, everyones time comes, and this time, be more critical and careful and ask for god's guidance.

first learn to love god, then learn to love yourself, only then can you begin a new chapter where you can love someone else, namely your wife and your kids. Ontop of all of this never forget to read bani, do your jap ji sahib and slowly increase your nitnem, within bani resides all doors to happiness.

i am a person who doesnt easily become happy, name any worldly thing and none of it makes me happy, you could buy me a corvette , expensive designer stuff that wud never make me happy, what makes me happy is going to the gurdwara, doing sangat of mahapursh that come in and out of england , canada, etc ( sant jagjit singh ji harkhowal, sant baba nihal singh ji, sant baba baljit singh ji etc) so many great gursikhs of our time, we have such an oppurtunity, go to your gurdwara and get sangat of these gursikhs, mahapursh etc that is where true happines resides and from that darshan is where you reap the fruits of life: your job becomes better, your grades improve, your happiness increases, these are the things bro/sis, these are the things that provide happiness in this life and after:)

forget that girl, you deserve much much better, she was a weakling, a loser and definitely couldnt stand up for you let alone any kids she ever has...pray for god to bring you a faithful singhnee, a wife who will be your backbone and trust me you will get that, dream of the first time you will hold your child...doesnt that put a smile on your face?

for your future childrens sake atleast, dont ever say " i feel liek dying" life has too much to offer and we are still young, dont ever give up that easily, be a warrior of guru gobind singh ji:)

i hope guru sahib keeps you in chardi kala! bolee so nihall, satsriakalllll!

[Guest shastr]

bhaji, this is a bad time for everybody. kaljug to the max everywhere you look. but dont lose hope bhaji. think of the puraatan singhs and singhnis's, who went through 10 times harder life situations then us, and they never lost hope.

like that saying, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going"

gurbani makes us stronger

[Kalsingh]

You sound depressed. I recommend seeing your GP and asking for anti depressants. They can work. If you can't always engage yourself in bani, try some seva at the gurdwara. That will surely help you. When your not doing that you can always try to volunteer. Just getting out of the house even if its for a couple of hours every day or every other day (to someone else it is trivial) but for a person in your position it can do a world of wonders. You need to do that. Meet up with people you know to have a game of pool or do whatever you like. If you need to meet new people you can always do this through social networking groups like meetup.com. They have a london one with loads of different groups. Things will get better man, you just need to give it time.

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care

[Guest mehtab1singh]

Where do you live?

What is your qualification?

What kind of job are you looking for?

[Drogba]

Have you considered doing any charity work?

or maybe you could work for free and try to get some experience and exposure, it will help you get a job with some experience under your belt.

and on your other problem, thats not really your fault, its the hindu mindset people have, youve done nothing wrong.

[Guest Gupt]

Thank you all for your replies and advice. I feel better after reading your responses. To answer some of your questions, I still do read gurbanee but I wake up late and I struggle to do my full Nitnem. Yes, she was an amritdhari Singhnee and her dad supposedly done sangat of Sant Jarnail Singh jee. That’s the reason it hurt so much that people like that can believe in caste. Also a lot of her friends stopped talking to me after she did. These guys arrange so many Sikhi events and preach and it hit me hard that I could not even talk about the issue to them. But you guys are right what happened is the best for the long term.

I am looking for work in the legal sector (Solicitor) in London. I have a lot of Sikhi material in terms of kirtan and books at home I am blessed with that. I am just finding it hard to bring my motivation up. I know at the end of the day only Gurbani and sewa is going to truly help us. But the emotions take over the intellect if that makes sense.

[Matheen]

See it as a blessing! You are now free and unattached and can move on. Don't get into another panga like what you had before, when/if you want to get married, ask your parents or Gursikh friends to sort it out.