Question Re: Anand Karaj Protocol

[Cali_Khalsa]

WJKK, WJKF:

I was curious is anyone could direct me to some online resources or could perhaps give me some gurbani references that make the case for why a Sikh woman should NOT be accompanied by male relatives/brothers during the laavan ceremony? I need to be able to respond to some family members who say there is nothing wrong with this practice and that this is "custom," but I disagree. In general my understanding that this is a hindu tradition which like so many other it seems have made their way into Sikhi due to ignorance of guru sahib's teachings amongst some within our community. As I see it, women are taught to be equal in our faith and I would argue that the laavan are for the couple only as they are building a new relationship with one another that is centered around Guru Sahib and no one else should be involved. This is the time for both the bride and groom to stand as equal partners on equal footing... do I have this right? Any feedback you guys can provide would be much appreciated. Thanks.

[I humbly bow]

There was a katha at the gurdwara a few weeks ago and giani ji said that in the olden days at the time of the moghuls etc, people would try to kidnap the bride while she was having her lavva, so her brother and uncles etc would form a circle around to protect her and keep her safe throughout the anand karaj so that she could complete her marriage. He said it wasn't a religious thing that we must do.

I guess we don't need this now as we are freely able to have our anand karaj without fear of such things happening, hope that helps!

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

[singhgsingh]

<br />WJKK, WJKF: <br /><br />I was curious is anyone could direct me to some online resources or could perhaps give me some gurbani references that make the case for why a Sikh woman should NOT be accompanied by male relatives/brothers during the laavan ceremony? I need to be able to respond to some family members who say there is nothing wrong with this practice and that this is "custom," but I disagree. In general my understanding that this is a hindu tradition which like so many other it seems have made their way into Sikhi due to ignorance of guru sahib's teachings amongst some within our community. As I see it, women are taught to be equal in our faith and I would argue that the laavan are for the couple only as they are building a new relationship with one another that is centered around Guru Sahib and no one else should be involved. This is the time for both the bride and groom to stand as equal partners on equal footing... do I have this right? Any feedback you guys can provide would be much appreciated. Thanks.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

what i have heard is that the reason they walk with the girl is because she used to cover her face so she couldnt see anything so the male relatives used to help her...

this is totally against gurmat...

[I humbly bow]

what i have heard is that the reason they walk with the girl is because she used to cover her face so she couldnt see anything so the male relatives used to help her...

this is totally against gurmat...

I've never heard that before......?

....sorry but i am biased; Giani ji can't be wrong he was my favourite giani at the gurdwara! He always used to research the katha so well and made it funny and interesting to listen to, rather than feeling as though he was preaching to you. I learnt so many new things, and he had such a friendly smile you always had to smile back at him....he's moved to another gurdwara now..........ok may possibly need closure lol

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

[sadh ka sang]

<br /><br /><br />

what i have heard is that the reason they walk with the girl is because she used to cover her face so she couldnt see anything so the male relatives used to help her...

this is totally against gurmat...

I have heard this as well. This is because the woman use to display "jhund" with her chunni - which covered her entire face and hence was unable to see in front of her. Of course, this was a Panjabi cultural tradition, which is no longer practiced today. However, it was still prevalent up to 20-30 years ago.

[sukhjeevansingh]

Ive also heard this... and that the girls were like really young.. like in rajastan i think meera ji got married at 10 so the brothers would carry them or something. I think it was just to push them along/protect/ and guide them under the jhund! but i agree it should sort of stop...maharajs parkarma should be done with full concetration and shardaaa