I'm not trying to be rude but most of you guys on here talking about "women these days" sound like incels.
I don't know why some people are so obsessed with what women are doing, go out there be the alpha male and any girl will like you. It's very simple Singhs need to man up. Most Singhs want a pretty and feminine girl so similarly girls like confident manly men, alot of Singhs are not up to scratch its simple as that.
There is alot of incel like <banned word filter activated> shaming going on - you can not hope to know what someone is like from a Facebook post or photo, hell even the people you see up close like those in school, you don't know the full story.
What makes me laugh is how quickly people think they can sum up the complexities of someone else's life. On top of that you guys aren't even happy when a girl moves on and criticisize when they do finally settle down as covering up or whatever - it's called growing up and developing as a person, quite a normal thing.
Maybe if we the kaum wasn't full up of people who have nothing better to do than discuss other people's supposed love lives on the internet and actually understood normal human behaviour of making mistakes, being immature and developing, we actually wouldn't have people looking elsewhere.
Finally, there never was this "ideal respectable woman", not in any era. Hanky panky has been going on since the beginning of time, read charitrpakhiyan.
I am really glad you are doing better. That you know your worth and keep striving everyday.
What you said about no one having the time to listen to ur priblems and emotional issues, really resonated. That is why in these times therapists and counselors are such high paying jobs. People need to pay someone to listen to them and just offer sympathy. Used to be what families and neighbors did for free.
About your hukamnamas. You should take heart that they are positive. That there is hope and Rabb is on ur side. But the hukamnama does not mean that it will solve things instantly. It takes time. Like they say, Rabb de Ghar Der Hai Per Haner Nahi. Meaning it takes time but God doesnt abandon ppl who believe in him. Also your adaas is pretty big. You not only want your husmand back but stronger and more into naam. That will take time. He has to fight his anxiety, relatives, doubt etc to become a better person.
So now that you know, that the outcome will be positive, but you dont know how long its gonna take or when its gonna happen. What will you do? You can either have faith and say God has said to me again and again that my marriage will be saved so i will believe him and not torture myself with imaginings. Just have faith and try to enjoy life. Or you can keep being in doubt and keep asking for more hukamnameh, which you wont believe and will keep taking new ones. And be in unsettled stressful mindset.
All will be well. God has stated. So why not enjoy life. Leave the hows and why to him
Our mind is tricky. It wont be quiet and restful. So try simran and meditation. And try CBT, which is cognitive behavior therapy that if you control your thoughts you can control your behavior. For example, if you stop having sad thoughts you will stop crying and being depressed.
So what you do is whenever a negative though comes. You push it out of you mind and refuse to think it. And take ur mind to other directions . You can also wear a rubber band and snap it on your wrist so that it hurts when negative thoughts come. To train your mind not to go there.
I do not know what the real issue was with Pardeep and her family but from a superficial outsider view, there are few things that seem clear to me (at least it is my perception )
She has 2 other sisters. Just looking at video, it seems that she is the prettier one (she looks like the middle child) with a chubby older sister and plain jane younger sister.
Middle children typically are more rebellious and the fact that she is the prettier one probably means she gets more attention.
Her sisters are probably jealous of her.
So Pardeep probably has a sense of entitlement.
At 23, as a girl she is at her most prettiest (sexual market peak) and she likely gets a lot of male attention.
At this age, girls like the "bad boys" and with all the combined factors mentioned above , it must be her parents worst nightmare.
Her father living in a family full of woman is probably find it hard to be a strong father as he is likely to be under the thumb and cannot stamp his authority.
It could be very well the case that the parents would try to cash the chips in and get her married off (though I don't think it works these days).
The fear of her parents is that she will be pumped and dumped and become damaged goods and no respectabe bloke will marry her.
Like a lot of girls this age, she will realise that when she reaches her late twenties and she is not as pretty as she was in the younger days, those guys she didn't find very interesting will suddenly look very interesting.