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What Are Your Criteria?


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I made a list of 17 reasons why I canNOT get married, I trashed it, I am still single. I made a list of 15 things I want in my Singhnee, I trashed it, I am still single. Bottom line, you will get the one Gurujee has destined to be with you, also called "sanjog" by most people. If someone is there, then hang in there, you will find the one He made for you. If not, fer kandh ch matha maari jaao, kakh ni hona.

However, no harm in creating a list of what you want. But like bhenji said, first deserve, then desire. If I say I want a sohni kurri, people will say "apni boothee vekhi aa kadi sheeshey ch?" There are 20 million things that should be compatible, like education level, financial status, maybe even looks for some folks, and unfortunately even the cancer called "caste" also plays a major role.

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Some words of wisdom

If you have faith in Paramaatma then leave everything to him.

If you look up to your parents then let them find a match.

If you believe only in your self then rely on intellect.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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The way I see it is that there are supposed to be some souls born (kids) and those souls are supposed to have a particular set of parents. And God has already planned that who are those set of parents for those particular souls. So problem solved. Nothing for anybody to worry about. LEt GOD put together the another parent for your future kids. Let GOD play his drama of life and you be the spectator and the actor in his film. GOD plans your moves and you just move according to what HE wants you to do.

If you just focus most of your energy on "NAAM japna, kirt karna and vand chhukna", and leave GOD to worry about other things, you will be the happiest person on earth. AND that my friends is very hard to follow and easy to say.

so stop making the list of criteria. Most of your criteria points are not going to be met anyways as during the process of you developing mentally, spiritually, physically, socially, your list of criteria is going to change too. LET the rose of life unfold itself. Don't tell it which way you want it to unfold. GOD already knows and planned it to unfold in the best way. DON"T be smarter than GOD. Just pray to GOD that you become capable of accepting the GOD's ways happily as your ultimate happiness lies in accepting the GOD's Will.

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Guest Leave it to Waheguru

ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥

raag goojaree mehalaa 5 ||

Raag Goojaree, Fifth Mehl:

ਕਾਹੇ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਚਿਤਵਹਿ ਉਦਮੁ ਜਾ ਆਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਪਰਿਆ ॥

kaahae rae man chithavehi oudham jaa aahar har jeeo pariaa ||

Why, O mind, do you plot and plan, when the Dear Lord Himself provides for your care?

ਸੈਲ ਪਥਰ ਮਹਿ ਜੰਤ ਉਪਾਏ ਤਾ ਕਾ ਰਿਜਕੁ ਆਗੈ ਕਰਿ ਧਰਿਆ ॥੧॥

sail pathhar mehi janth oupaaeae thaa kaa rijak aagai kar dhhariaa ||1||

From rocks and stones He created living beings; He places their nourishment before them. ||1||

ਮੇਰੇ ਮਾਧਉ ਜੀ ਸਤਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲੇ ਸੁ ਤਰਿਆ ॥

maerae maadhho jee sathasangath milae s thariaa ||

O my Dear Lord of souls, one who joins the Sat Sangat, the True Congregation, is saved.

ਗੁਰ ਪਰਸਾਦਿ ਪਰਮ ਪਦੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੂਕੇ ਕਾਸਟ ਹਰਿਆ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

gur parasaadh param padh paaeiaa sookae kaasatt hariaa ||1|| rehaao ||

By Guru's Grace, the supreme status is obtained, and the dry wood blossoms forth again in lush greenery. ||1||Pause||

ਜਨਨਿ ਪਿਤਾ ਲੋਕ ਸੁਤ ਬਨਿਤਾ ਕੋਇ ਨ ਕਿਸ ਕੀ ਧਰਿਆ ॥

janan pithaa lok suth banithaa koe n kis kee dhhariaa ||

Mothers, fathers, friends, children and spouses-no one is the support of anyone else.

ਸਿਰਿ ਸਿਰਿ ਰਿਜਕੁ ਸੰਬਾਹੇ ਠਾਕੁਰੁ ਕਾਹੇ ਮਨ ਭਉ ਕਰਿਆ ॥੨॥

sir sir rijak sanbaahae thaakur kaahae man bho kariaa ||2||

For each and every person, our Lord and Master provides sustenance. Why are you so afraid, O mind? ||2||

ਊਡੇ ਊਡਿ ਆਵੈ ਸੈ ਕੋਸਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਪਾਛੈ ਬਚਰੇ ਛਰਿਆ ॥

ooddae oodd aavai sai kosaa this paashhai bacharae shhariaa ||

The flamingoes fly hundreds of miles, leaving their young ones behind.

ਤਿਨ ਕਵਣੁ ਖਲਾਵੈ ਕਵਣੁ ਚੁਗਾਵੈ ਮਨ ਮਹਿ ਸਿਮਰਨੁ ਕਰਿਆ ॥੩॥

thin kavan khalaavai kavan chugaavai man mehi simaran kariaa ||3||

Who feeds them, and who teaches them to feed themselves? Have you ever thought of this in your mind? ||3||

ਸਭਿ ਨਿਧਾਨ ਦਸ ਅਸਟ ਸਿਧਾਨ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਕਰ ਤਲ ਧਰਿਆ ॥

sabh nidhhaan dhas asatt sidhhaan thaakur kar thal dhhariaa ||

All the nine treasures, and the eighteen supernatural powers are held by our Lord and Master in the Palm of His Hand.

ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਬਲਿ ਬਲਿ ਸਦ ਬਲਿ ਜਾਈਐ ਤੇਰਾ ਅੰਤੁ ਨ ਪਾਰਾਵਰਿਆ ॥੪॥੫॥

jan naanak bal bal sadh bal jaaeeai thaeraa anth n paaraavariaa ||4||5||

Servant Nanak is devoted, dedicated, forever a sacrifice to You, Lord. Your Expanse has no limit, no boundary. ||4||5||

Don't worry about these things, whatever is to be, shall be. Have no fear, Save your thoughts for Waheguru he'll take care of the rest.

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Living out automatically in my eyes puts the girl in the category of the "undesirable loose women"

i think that is a highly judgemental and unfair stereotype.

I do not know one girl who has lived out yet never indulged in filth (ie had guys back at her place or went to guys flats).

you havent met me. or about 100 other bibia i know.

It would be very hard to trust someone whose lived out, though they maybe some women who are totally chaste and are clean the vast majority who lived out unfortunately always get influenced to partake in bad things usually because of sheer boredom.

i agree that a large number of girls who live out do some extremely stupid things, but just be careful not to tar everyone with the same brush. some of us know how to behave with dignity and self respect.

Like I said theres probably very few who actually are decent and have their self-respect intact while having lived out those are very rare though. I know one dastaar wearing singhni who used to come on these forums dont know if she still does, revealed she had slept with a non-sikh black guy. And I would ask which decent Sikh guy would even look at such a filthy woman? Women forget that their body is more scared than a guys as they will be mothers to future generations of Sikhs if its defiled by various guys especially non-sikh guys what sort of mother will she be? what sort of standards does she have?

LOL @ genie you have trust issues my friend.

every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Yup trust is very hard especially these days trusting girls when it comes to forming a relationship it takes a long time for me. I don't want short term flings I want to settle down with true Kaur who I will be proud to call my wife and eventually mother to my kids and I'm guessing women want the same but in a guy. A decent Singh who is her soldier/protector, her only lover, provider and good father to her kids.

lol...the scenarios was such that...

they can set as many criteria they want :p , but they forget their destiny was written even before they were born :lol:

There is a paradoxical duality here where we are masters of our own destiny (free will given by God) yet at the same time we are not (kismet).

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Guest hope

I think by having NOT having a list of set rules/criteria when the right person comes along whenever that may be, I/they will know. It takes a little while to know the basics about a person, outlook on life etc, it's all written, when it happens it will happens, we don't have control.

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