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Female Bullying


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Guest disappointed

To all females who have been bullied or ridiculed by other women (always due to the other womans insecurities) please share your experiences.

Before turning to sikhi I was called beautiful by many and was targeted by especially my sister. Since turning to sikhi it has become even worse and I cannot even speak to my sister without her making a degrading comment to make herself feel more secure.

I never comment on other people's looks, it is who the person is that matters. In my eyes my sister is a complete manmukh and I feel like her comments are so tinged with jealousy that they are affecting me.

I have to constantly pray for protection against her and cannot stand being in her presence, I feel drained and can sense her jealousy so strongly that it sickens me. She can't stand to see me happy and this can be said of many of my friends I have had aswell. I'm on the verge of giving up being friends with women or being nice to my sister and even speaking to them at all as they affect my sikhi so much by hurting me and making me worry about what they're going to do or say next.

I never have this problem with guys, unless they are my friends husbands or boyfriends, I find that many men want they're wives to be number one as much as their wives want to be, so they hate on women they perceive to be better in some way.

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Guest Guest

Unfortunately i know exactly how u feel and the saddening thing is that even amritdhari women in my experience can be unwelcoming (not as bad though!). It used to get me down, now it doesn't affect me. Ultimately we are only judged by one...the only opinion worth caring about. As far as your sister is concerned, I am in a similiar situation...when my sister bothers with me, i speak to her. Other than that, i've accepted that we are different and she'll never understand me.

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Guest _Kaur_

I have the same issue except I am looked down upon by other Sikhs and family. I live in an area where we have many Sikhs but not even a Single Amritdhari my age. We don't have extra programs at the Gurdwara, only divaans Wed, Sat, and Sun. Before I got into Sikhi, I was obsessed with my eyebrows. Always removing excess hair on my face but ever since I turned to Sikhi, the excess hair is back and to some I am not as "attractive" to some people anymore. This wasn't an issue until recently even my family started commenting on my facial hair. I am not an Amritdhari but I feel the necessity to keep my hair. Now I even get looked down upon from Sikh girls my age. Sometimes I get really fed up and I want to remove it all since its causing me social issues and I am not an Amritdhari but then I stop thinking to myself that if I want to take Amrit someday, then I absolutely have to try and keep rehet. I have no encouragement in my house since no one in my family is an Amritdhari besides my Grandma who isn't very strong in her rehet. I don't have any encouragement since even our Granthi's are low on rehet, their wives aren't Amritdhari and remove hair.

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Guest Gupt

Vjkk vjkf

penji having been through what you've started the topic about myself I'd say just keep faith in Guru jee..

I got alot of stick from my family including my mum when I found sikhi some years ago and sadly now that with guru jes kirpa I rcently took Amrith it's got worse..my family hardly talkto me but always remeber Vaheguru je is with you!That's the most important factor to keep in mind along with fact that this is all a test to see how much do we really love sikhi..

Keep your head up highhh!

Vaheguruu jeee

vjkk vjkf

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Im not an amridhari or a Keshdari so I cant speak on behalf of those who are but my view is the way i see it in 1699 when the khalsa was formed Guru Ji's orders were for Sikh males to be called Singhs (lions) and sikh women kaurs (princesses). He didnt create "singhni's" he didint explictly state a woman has to keep uncut hair all over her body did he? neither did he say that to men he told them to keep the beard and head on hair uncut. Sikhs were facing a war do or die situation...

unless I see explicit instructions in authentic scripture that states otherwise I think my views on the hair issue for women is valid.

As for your sister making negative comments I think you should tell her straight up if she cant say anything nice then she shouldn't talk to you and you shouldn't make any effort to talk to someone who speaks to you in a negative manor until they realise talking to you like that wont get any response from you.

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Guest NY3HY3

Im not an amridhari or a Keshdari so I cant speak on behalf of those who are but my view is the way i see it in 1699 when the khalsa was formed Guru Ji's orders were for Sikh males to be called Singhs (lions) and sikh women kaurs (princesses). He didnt create "singhni's" he didint explictly state a woman has to keep uncut hair all over her body did he? neither did he say that to men he told them to keep the beard and head on hair uncut. Sikhs were facing a war do or die situation...

unless I see explicit instructions in authentic scripture that states otherwise I think my views on the hair issue for women is valid.

As for your sister making negative comments I think you should tell her straight up if she cant say anything nice then she shouldn't talk to you and you shouldn't make any effort to talk to someone who speaks to you in a negative manor until they realise talking to you like that wont get any response from you.

Out of curiosity, do you wear a kara?

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Im not an amridhari or a Keshdari so I cant speak on behalf of those who are but my view is the way i see it in 1699 when the khalsa was formed Guru Ji's orders were for Sikh males to be called Singhs (lions) and sikh women kaurs (princesses). He didnt create "singhni's" he didint explictly state a woman has to keep uncut hair all over her body did he? neither did he say that to men he told them to keep the beard and head on hair uncut. Sikhs were facing a war do or die situation...

unless I see explicit instructions in authentic scripture that states otherwise I think my views on the hair issue for women is valid.

As for your sister making negative comments I think you should tell her straight up if she cant say anything nice then she shouldn't talk to you and you shouldn't make any effort to talk to someone who speaks to you in a negative manor until they realise talking to you like that wont get any response from you.

you genie sahib need to do some reading and learn something about your religion before posting such preposterous comments online. Instead of looking up to Singhs and Singhnia with high jeevans and trying to be the dust of their feet you people just morph Sikhi to suit your own twisted views.

Bhagat Kabeer Ji Guru Granth Sahib Ang 344:

caudis caudh lok mJwir ]

choudhas choudheh lok majhaar ||

On the fourteenth day of the lunar cycle, in the fourteen worlds

rom rom mih bsih murwir ]

rom rom mehi basehi muraar ||

and on each and every hair, the Lord abides.

sq sMqoK kw Drhu iDAwn ]

sath sa(n)thokh kaa dhharahu dhhiaan ||

Center yourself and meditate on truth and contentment.

kQnI kQIAY bRhm igAwn ]15]

kathhanee kathheeai breham giaan ||15||

Speak the speech of God's spiritual wisdom. ||15||

Guru Raam Das Sahib Ji, Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 443

romy roim roim romy mY gurmuiK rwmu iDAwey rwm ]

romae rom rom romae mai guramukh raam dhhiaaeae raam ||

With each and every hair, with each and every hair, as Gurmukh, I meditate on the Lord.

rwm nwmu iDAwey pivqu hoie Awey iqsu rUpu n ryiKAw kweI ]

raam naam dhhiaaeae pavith hoe aaeae this roop n raekhiaa kaaee ||

I meditate on the Lord's Name, and become pure; He has no form or shape.

Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji, Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 941

gurmuiK roim roim hir iDAwvY ]

guramukh rom rom har dhhiaavai ||

The Gurmukh meditates on the Lord with every hair of his body.

nwnk gurmuiK swic smwvY ]27]

naanak guramukh saach samaavai ||27||

O Nanak, the Gurmukh merges in Truth. ||27||

Guru Gobind Ji Says: (Reference Budda Dal Gutka Sahib for gurmukhi version of below Bachan)

"bina shasrtran kesang narang bhed jaano. ghe kaan tako kite lai sidano.

ehai mor agiya sun leh piyare. bina teg kesang n devo didaare."

Without weapons and intact hair, consider that individual a sheep. That sheep can be taken anywhere by the ear. Listen to my words Beloveds. Without weaponse and intact hair, I will not give you my darshan.

Now tell me genie where does it mention the hair on the head, beard, female, or male in any of the above shabads or the rehitnama? Please refrain from spreading falsehood in the future. Guru Sahibs Hukam is for a Gursikh, male or female, to keep hair unshorn from the tip of their head to their toes. If you choose to ignore this then its your own loss.

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you genie sahib need to do some reading and learn something about your religion before posting such preposterous comments online. Instead of looking up to Singhs and Singhnia with high jeevans and trying to be the dust of their feet you people just morph Sikhi to suit your own twisted views.

Bhagat Kabeer Ji Guru Granth Sahib Ang 344:

caudis caudh lok mJwir ]

choudhas choudheh lok majhaar ||

On the fourteenth day of the lunar cycle, in the fourteen worlds

rom rom mih bsih murwir ]

rom rom mehi basehi muraar ||

and on each and every hair, the Lord abides.

sq sMqoK kw Drhu iDAwn ]

sath sa(n)thokh kaa dhharahu dhhiaan ||

Center yourself and meditate on truth and contentment.

kQnI kQIAY bRhm igAwn ]15]

kathhanee kathheeai breham giaan ||15||

Speak the speech of God's spiritual wisdom. ||15||

Guru Raam Das Sahib Ji, Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 443

romy roim roim romy mY gurmuiK rwmu iDAwey rwm ]

romae rom rom romae mai guramukh raam dhhiaaeae raam ||

With each and every hair, with each and every hair, as Gurmukh, I meditate on the Lord.

rwm nwmu iDAwey pivqu hoie Awey iqsu rUpu n ryiKAw kweI ]

raam naam dhhiaaeae pavith hoe aaeae this roop n raekhiaa kaaee ||

I meditate on the Lord's Name, and become pure; He has no form or shape.

Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji, Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 941

gurmuiK roim roim hir iDAwvY ]

guramukh rom rom har dhhiaavai ||

The Gurmukh meditates on the Lord with every hair of his body.

nwnk gurmuiK swic smwvY ]27]

naanak guramukh saach samaavai ||27||

O Nanak, the Gurmukh merges in Truth. ||27||

Guru Gobind Ji Says: (Reference Budda Dal Gutka Sahib for gurmukhi version of below Bachan)

"bina shasrtran kesang narang bhed jaano. ghe kaan tako kite lai sidano.

ehai mor agiya sun leh piyare. bina teg kesang n devo didaare."

Without weapons and intact hair, consider that individual a sheep. That sheep can be taken anywhere by the ear. Listen to my words Beloveds. Without weaponse and intact hair, I will not give you my darshan.

Now tell me genie where does it mention the hair on the head, beard, female, or male in any of the above shabads or the rehitnama? Please refrain from spreading falsehood in the future. Guru Sahibs Hukam is for a Gursikh, male or female, to keep hair unshorn from the tip of their head to their toes. If you choose to ignore this then its your own loss.

With respect I do not interrupt what you believe in and propergate. I believe in Sikhism not Khalsaism, Sikhism is much bigger than just one martial order. Sikhism allows for difference in opinions and interruptions of scriptures. The scripture quotes you refer to are taken out of context I can give you quotes from gurbani that say the opposite that refer to hindu sadhu's keeping hairs as pointless when they dont even reflect on their creator.

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