Sikhism And Family

[Curioussingh]

I have a question about one of the many things I don't seem to understand about Sikhi. I understand that focusing your mind on God is the primary goal. There are some points that emphasize that you should remain detached from your family and friends because when you die they won't come with you. I can understand how doing that can actually make you a better family member since you see God in all and are not overly emotional about the things around you, but I have a feeling that most people don't reach that point of spiritual enlightenment in their lifetime. So wouldn't that detachment just turn them into terrible parents/spouses/friends? They try hard to be emotionally detached from them, but they aren't spiritually developed enough to see God in all. Wouldn't that be a terrible combination to have?

[Bundha]

The Gurus gave emphasis to being a householder and that means to love, care and nurture your family. There is no restriction to this as a householder it is your duty to care for your family. The Gurus were family men and cherished and loved their children. The secret is to find AkaalPurkh while being a householder.

As your spiritual level increases and you start to follow the Gurus path this does not mean you start to become aloof and detached, rather you start to see the divine light in all beings around you. You see all with Waheguru in them, your enemy and your friend become on one level. That does not mean you stop loving your children any less it just means that you are now not overpowered by MOH(attachment). You become aware that all these relationships are temporary and soon you will leave and move on but again it does not mean you start to neglect your family, infact it would increase your effort to move your children and family onto Gurus path also and that can only be done with love and nurture.

[Curioussingh]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, and I believe I understand what you are saying.

Does anyone know of any quotes from Sikh scripture that support the view to cherish your family/friends?

[MansWisdom]

You have to very careful...... in the last few years I really had a strong attachment to my family but I have been warned this attachment will stop me from getting mukt (liberated).

The longer you stay attached to family the longer your charci joon will be.

So how does 1 know that attachment has been shattered? The answer is that when you see no difference between your family member and some stranger on the street. Then you will be deattached from family.

It is hard to believe but when 1 gets atam gian he or she will see that all is 1.. your family, friends, strangers were all waheguru, you were confused with the physical (maya) state of 1 but all is not what it seems.

[gurmukhsodhi]

There are many quotes in Guru Granth Sahib ji. some of them are:

I beg for honor, I beg for strength; please bless me with wealth, property and children. ||1|| (Kaanraa, Fifth Mehl) page 1307

O Lord of the world, this is Your lamp-lit worship service.

You are the Arranger of the affairs of those humble beings who perform Your devotional worship service. ||1||Pause||

Lentils, flour and ghee - these things, I beg of You.

My mind shall ever be pleased.

Shoes, fine clothes,

and grain of seven kinds - I beg of You. ||1||

A milk cow, and a water buffalo, I beg of You,

and a fine Turkestani horse.

A good wife to care for my home -

Your humble servant Dhanna begs for these things, Lord. ||2||4|| (Dhannaa, page 695)