Jump to content

Marriage In Uk


singh181
 Share

Recommended Posts

WJJK WJJF

It is becoming ever more apparant that there is a growing trend in the uk that many sikh girls do not actually want to marry with people with turbans and beards (amritdhari and non-amritdhari). In general, I don't know what many of your experiences and would be good to hear from fellow brothers and sisters, but it does appear our religion is going backwards in this respect. Does anybody have any thoughts? What about the in betweeners (those who are not too religious and also not too not religious) but have turban and beard - it appears sikh girls just don't want to know. Is there something inherently defective in the way people are taught about the teachings of our religion in gurdwara's for us to even be having this discussion?

Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are bare marriage problems/issues on here.

Heres a solution:

Forget marriage, instead spend your time doing simran/bani and seva

Marriage causes problems and problems = depression

Marry Waheguruuuu

If you want to talk to someone talk to waheguru

If you want children adopt or IVF

PROBLEM SOLVED

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are bare marriage problems/issues on here.

Heres a solution:

Forget marriage, instead spend your time doing simran/bani and seva

Marriage causes problems and problems = depression

Marry Waheguruuuu

If you want to talk to someone talk to waheguru

If you want children adopt or IVF

PROBLEM SOLVED

you are 100% right

We should be seeking union with waheguru first and foremost

People get so worried about marriage, i dont see what the fuss is, either waheguru blesses you with a wife/husband or he doesnt...stop worrying...its all wahegurus play

and secondly there are soo many abondoned and orphaned children in the world that i actually dont see the point of having children, lets atleast take care of the ones already in this world who have no one to care and look after them

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats funny this topic came up, I actually had a discussion with some punjabi girls at a party last week. I know a couple of these girls very well, and they are very decent good girls (saving for marriage, dont get drunk and crazy, etc). We started talking and this exact topic came up. The gist of what they told me was this... they don't have anything against amritdhari guys per say...but its just that they all have uncles/dads that are amritdhari that don't really treat their women that well and so some of them associate amridhari with bad treatment of women.

I told them I realize that is the case sometimes, but if you don't open yourselves up to amritdhari guys you are missing some of the best punjabi guys there are. Many of the nicest, most hard working, and all around good guys I know are amritdhari. Some of the friendliest guys in gurdwara to me are amritdhari, and you can tell that they are very good to their wives. By the end of the conversation I had one of them convinced and she told me she would now consider dating amritdhari guys.

Honestly, if your a good guy, confident, and nice to your women... I can promise you you will have no trouble finding a nice punjabi girl. I found a gorgeous one and I am ugly as sin, bearded, and white.

-W

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ironically....about 6 years back I was trying to fix a distant cousin up who wanted to marry a boy who was compassionate, spritual, cultural, a non-drinker, a non-smoker and a vegetarian. The catch was she wanted a clean shaven boy. So, it was the virtues of an Amritdhari which was attractive to her without the outer roop of an Amritdhari. I could introduce to a dozen Gursikh lads who fit the first part of her wish list.... another dozen who fit the clean shaven part of her wish list, but I couldn't find a clean shaven "Amritdhari" for her!

Anyway, she's still not married. Still looking for her tall, dark and handsome clean shaven "Amritdhari"!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wales85,

Your thoughts and comments are interesting!

It would be good to hear the views of your friends and the 'decent good girls' first hand as my original posting mentioned in-betweeners and non amritdhari people. It appears that the focus in the replies received so far refers to amritdhari boys and some people have gone off the original question. However, I am sure that there are very good decent non amritdhari boys but who have a turban and beard and get judged by that very fact. It would be good to have some feedback and comments from sisters too!

Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wales85,

Your thoughts and comments are interesting!

It would be good to hear the views of your friends and the 'decent good girls' first hand as my original posting mentioned in-betweeners and non amritdhari people. It appears that the focus in the replies received so far refers to amritdhari boys and some people have gone off the original question. However, I am sure that there are very good decent non amritdhari boys but who have a turban and beard and get judged by that very fact. It would be good to have some feedback and comments from sisters too!

Thanks

I am non amritdhari but wear a turban and I have a full flowing beard. Virtually all women I have come across dont give me a second look. I am not religious at all but I get judged as some sort of religious freak (am not saying amritdharis are freaks). People think I'm religious when in fact the girls rejecting me are probably more religious than I.

Then on top of what they think you may be like (personality wise), they've been brainwashed into thinking a turban and beard is an ugly look through media and what not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WJJK WJJF

It is becoming ever more apparant that there is a growing trend in the uk that many sikh girls do not actually want to marry with people with turbans and beards (amritdhari and non-amritdhari). In general, I don't know what many of your experiences and would be good to hear from fellow brothers and sisters, but it does appear our religion is going backwards in this respect. Does anybody have any thoughts? What about the in betweeners (those who are not too religious and also not too not religious) but have turban and beard - it appears sikh girls just don't want to know. Is there something inherently defective in the way people are taught about the teachings of our religion in gurdwara's for us to even be having this discussion?

Thanks

Vaheguru je ka Khalsa vaheguru je ke fateh je

Ok here goes..am I amrithari singhnee so thought I'd reply..

Personally iv always wanted to marry a amrithari even before amrith..having now been blessed with amrith I most certainly will (guru je kirpa naal)...having had this discussion with a few friends who aren't amrithari but are into sikhi (probably call them in betweeners) they wish to marry kesdhari singhs or if they take amrith themselves b4 marriage then amrithari singhs..

Anyway thats my 2 cents

Vjkk vjkf sangat jeo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all your responses.

Are there any in betweener girls (those that would want to get married to guys with turbans and beards but not amritdhari) out there who would like to have a say and perhaps comment on Kalsingh's comments??? Let's hear it first hand.

WJKK WJKF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would just say they want to marry someone that doesnt do paat, goes to the Gurduara biannually and one Nagar bhangra. wacko.gif If they marry an Anmritdhari then they have to actually be a SIkh(Paat,Simran) and they want no part in that wen its wayyyyy funner to be wreckless and foolish. Long story short they just derelict SIkhi and only culturally want to be in the community. unsure.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use