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singh181
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Where have all the kuria gone. Only 1 response from a girl. They must have a guilty concious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kuriya are not gone anywhere, just somehow didn't click on the topic till now.

As most of you already know. I am already married amritdhari, but was not when I married (both were not).

So you can see all parts of the story through my eyes.

Would I have considered amritdhari when I was looking for a husband??

Answer: NO

??:: Why not

Answer: because I had no sikhi in me, except that I went to gurudwara every 2 months. went for langar or just for the sake of going to Gurudwara and matha tek, socialized, ate langar and came home and told mom who I met at Gurudwara.

So if I couldn't imagine what sikhi is about, how I was going to accept the person who was amritdhari and was following it. I was not going to be appreciative of him being amritdhari. And I was not strictly sikh myself, so I was not going to be changing for him. becaue I was in denial of following sikhi at that time.

Next question: Why didn't I marry a clean shaven so called sikh guy then

Answer: I didn't limit myself to clean shaven or full bearded guys, but somehow had this GoD given attraction for bearded guys only. I call it GoD's play to have me go in more sikhi oriented family than my parents family. So i call it destiny. I was destined to walk on this path of SIKHI, thats why Guru Sahib let me marry only my husband whose parents were already amritdhari and slowly slowly the effect of Gurbani being recited in house, changed us (me and my husband) as well.

Now to comment in general.

If girls are not going for you because you are amritdhari, the answer lies in the fact that they don't wanna be following sikhism to the book. They wanna be just going to Gurudwara, to Gurpurb celebrations to mingle, to socialize, so that they can pretend to belong to sikhism. They are afraid of following the rehat. They are afraid that this Amritdhari guy would change them and they don't wanna change.

Being actual follower of sikhism is to change your lifestyle to fit into sikhi principles, not to change sikhi to fit your lifestyle. But unfortunately, today's so called born-to-sikh-parents sikhs are doing the latter.

So my suggestion to these Amritdhari brothers would be to stop wasting time for these girls. They are not worth it.

Take it like this. Is a particular girl willing to give her head to GURU Sahib. iF answer is NO. then she is not worth it.

If yes, then she WOULD like to get to know you better and you should be flexible too to compromise on other things except sikhi principles.

Some of the amritdhari guys out there are too stuck on somethings as well. They want the perfect piece all ready to acquire for them. But when there is perfect piece, then they themselves fall short on somethings. The balance is being hard to achieve.

Don't consider yourself to be best either. Because there are girls out there who follow sikhism better than you may be, so kill this ego in you. if there is some girl out there worth considering, get to know her little better. Give the process time. Things dont' unfold in one day or months. everything takes time.

Rest as I always say. you will meet one day the one whose kids father you are going to be. So be patient. Leave things on GOD. Work on your sikhi as it never reaches perfection. There is always room for more to improve on.

And when time comes, a girl will fall into your plate :-))

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And how many of you Amritdhari or non-amritdhari boys or girls believe in Gurbani really??

What does guru sahib say in below lines then, understand it and follow it.

ijin krqY krxw kIAw icMqw iB krxI qwh ]

jin karathai karanaa keeaa chi(n)thaa bh karanee thaah ||

The Creator who created the creation, takes care of it as well.

so krqw icMqw kry ijin aupwieAw jgu ]

so karathaa chi(n)thaa karae jin oupaaeiaa jag ||

He, the Creator who formed the world, cares for it. SGGSji, ang 467

qU kwhy folih pRwxIAw quDu rwKYgw isrjxhwru ]

thoo kaahae ddolehi praaneeaa thudhh raakhaigaa sirajanehaar ||

Why do you waver, O mortal being? The Creator Lord Himself shall protect you.

ijin pYdwieis qU kIAw soeI dyie AwDwru ]1]

jin paidhaaeis thoo keeaa soee dhaee aadhhaar ||1||

He who created you, will also give you nourishment. ||1||

ijin aupweI mydnI soeI krdw swr ]

jin oupaaee maedhanee soee karadhaa saar ||

The One who created the world, takes care of it.

Git Git mwlku idlw kw scw prvdgwru ]2]

ghatt ghatt maalak dhilaa kaa sachaa paravadhagaar ||2||

In each and every heart and mind, the Lord is the True Cherisher. ||2||

SGGSji, ang 724

BeI prwpiq mwnuK dyhurIAw ]

bhee paraapath maanukh dhaehureeaa ||

This human body has been given to you.

goibMd imlx kI ieh qyrI brIAw ]

gobi(n)dh milan kee eih thaeree bareeaa ||

This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe.

Avir kwj qyrY ikqY n kwm ]

avar kaaj thaerai kithai n kaam ||

Nothing else will work.

imlu swDsMgiq Bju kyvl nwm ]1]

mil saadhhasa(n)gath bhaj kaeval naam ||1||

Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate and meditate on the Jewel of the Naam. ||1||

SGGSji, ang 12

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AmarjitKaur and SunSingh.

You two seem to have completely missed the point. The original poster was particularly interested in hearing about the experiences of non amritdhari sikhs who keep their beards and turbans (the inbetweeners as he put it).

What you have both said does not apply to these 'inbetweeners'.

For example, I have a beard and this severley limits my chances with women who are on my 'level' (personality and spiritually wise). This is what the original poster was interested in hearing about.

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Why become the inbetweeners?

Inbetweeners always suffer. their suffering lies in being inbetweeners. When inbetweeners rise above being one, they won't suffer and won't have any questions anymore.

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Why become the inbetweeners?

Inbetweeners always suffer. their suffering lies in being inbetweeners. When inbetweeners rise above being one, they won't suffer and won't have any questions anymore.

Man, you lot dont get it.

Do i want to be an inbetweener?

Thats just the way it is. I cant suddenly become an amridhari and follow the rehat how it is supposed to be done. But I have been lucky enough to have been taught and have enough understanding to realise that kesh is a powerful and divine part of the human body.

This is the case for a lot of keshdhari sikhs like myself.

Are you suggesting I choose a side like guptkuri said. Either take amrit or cut my hair?

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Man, you lot dont get it.

Do i want to be an inbetweener?

Thats just the way it is. I cant suddenly become an amridhari and follow the rehat how it is supposed to be done. But I have been lucky enough to have been taught and have enough understanding to realise that kesh is a powerful and divine part of the human body.

This is the case for a lot of keshdhari sikhs like myself.

Are you suggesting I choose a side like guptkuri said. Either take amrit or cut my hair?

OK.

You are keeping your full hair.

You don't do any of the bujjar kurehts.

You hopefully take shower every morning, may be not at 5am, but you do. You probably have atleast 2 K's.

Whats missing then??

Daily nitnem and 3 more K's. How hard that is anyways??

If we can spend years and years in universities to make ourselves suitable to get job.

Why one should not fulfill the thirst for getting Guru's happiness?

A university certificate gives you qualification to get job and be certain for questionable time that you will be employed.

Certificate from Guru's university gives you this:

sqgur kI syvw Aiq suKwlI jo ieCy so Plu pwey ]

sathagur kee saevaa ath sukhaalee jo eishhae so fal paaeae ||

Serving the True Guru brings a deep and profound peace, and one's desires are fulfilled.

So why aim for less.

And in no way, I would ever suggest cutting hair.

If you are destined, sooner or later you will be made capable of fulfilling the thirst of your soul.

crn srin gur eyk pYfw jwie cl

charan saran gur eaek paiddaa jaae chala

siq gur koit pYfw Awgy hoie lyq hY ]

sath gur kott paiddaa aagae hoe laeth hai ||

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Man, you lot dont get it.

Do i want to be an inbetweener?

Thats just the way it is. I cant suddenly become an amridhari and follow the rehat how it is supposed to be done. But I have been lucky enough to have been taught and have enough understanding to realise that kesh is a powerful and divine part of the human body.

This is the case for a lot of keshdhari sikhs like myself.

Are you suggesting I choose a side like guptkuri said. Either take amrit or cut my hair?

you misunderstood me. I am saying if you keep your khes and don't take amrit and aren't very religious, then you shouldn't say you are keeping your khes for sikhi. At that point you might as will just cut your khes. If you do it for yourself, more power to you. If you keep your khes because you want to work towards Sikhi and become amritdhari, then its great and you have every right to say your doing to it because your a sikh.

you+sikhi = khes = good

you+ khes = sikhi, doesn't equal nothing. You can't just keep khes and claim your doing it for sikhi. Khes to mean anything towards sikhi, has to come from you wanting to be a better sikh.

I am sorry, I am just frustrated of all the people that look like they are sikhs, say they are sikhs but then go on to do stupid things to disgrace sikhi. I am not saying your one of them. I am just saying unless you working towards being a good sikh, don't claim you keep khes for sikhi.

sorry, for any hurt feelings.

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OK.

You are keeping your full hair.

You don't do any of the bujjar kurehts.

You hopefully take shower every morning, may be not at 5am, but you do. You probably have atleast 2 K's.

Whats missing then??

Daily nitnem and 3 more K's. How hard that is anyways??

If we can spend years and years in universities to make ourselves suitable to get job.

Why one should not fulfill the thirst for getting Guru's happiness?

A university certificate gives you qualification to get job and be certain for questionable time that you will be employed.

Certificate from Guru's university gives you this:

sqgur kI syvw Aiq suKwlI jo ieCy so Plu pwey ]

sathagur kee saevaa ath sukhaalee jo eishhae so fal paaeae ||

Serving the True Guru brings a deep and profound peace, and one's desires are fulfilled.

So why aim for less.

And in no way, I would ever suggest cutting hair.

If you are destined, sooner or later you will be made capable of fulfilling the thirst of your soul.

crn srin gur eyk pYfw jwie cl

charan saran gur eaek paiddaa jaae chala

siq gur koit pYfw Awgy hoie lyq hY ]

sath gur kott paiddaa aagae hoe laeth hai ||

Daily nitnem is out of the question. I dont even know punjabi. Even if i learn, I do not have that thirst for god. I wish i did but i simply dont. You got to have it if you want to be able to do your nitnem fruitfully. Otherwise there is no point.

I am not saying i will never take amrit. I am just saying I have not got the drive to do it. Only god can bless me with that if he wants. I am so distant that i cant even be willed to ask for that thirst meaningfully and from my heart. Amrit at this point in my life is out of the question.

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you misunderstood me. I am saying if you keep your khes and don't take amrit and aren't very religious, then you shouldn't say you are keeping your khes for sikhi. At that point you might as will just cut your khes. If you do it for yourself, more power to you. If you keep your khes because you want to work towards Sikhi and become amritdhari, then its great and you have every right to say your doing to it because your a sikh.

you+sikhi = khes = good

you+ khes = sikhi, doesn't equal nothing. You can't just keep khes and claim your doing it for sikhi. Khes to mean anything towards sikhi, has to come from you wanting to be a better sikh.

I am sorry, I am just frustrated of all the people that look like they are sikhs, say they are sikhs but then go on to do stupid things to disgrace sikhi. I am not saying your one of them. I am just saying unless you working towards being a good sikh, don't claim you keep khes for sikhi.

sorry, for any hurt feelings.

What is wrong with you?

Dont you understand I am doing it for 'MY' sikhi! I wrote that in a previous post. Sikhi is a personal journey and I am not claiming I am a sikh simply by keeping my kesh only. I am not saying I am some sort of martyr and I am keeping my kesh for 'everybodys' sikhi.

How do you know I am not working towards sikhi. What do you know about what is inside me? Why would I keep my kesh if there is not an ounce of something there in me? My mum tells me to shave my beard off all the time but i dont.

Moderators, please let this post up, i want this girl to understand her shortcomings. Thank you.

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Kalsingh Veer Ji,

I am sorry. I think we are on completely different pages. I had originally made the comment after I read you saying "If anything, it shows we are deeply concerned with sikhi i.e. turban and beard and the future of it." I just don't see keeping khes as concern for Sikhi, if you don't follow rehit. And on a few separate occasions you made comments about not being that much into Sikhi for various reasons. That is your personal issue. I just didn't like the comment that you were saying its your concern for Sikhi, like you said in your pervious post its concern for 'your' sikhi, not everyones. That was the point i am trying to get at. If it is for your personal spiritual journey more power to you, but please don't say your showing concern for sikhi in general by keeping khes. Sikhi is a personal experience.

I am not saying you should cut off your hair or take amrit. A person takes amrit when they are ready. I am just saying if you keep your hair just to represent Sikhs but don't follow rehit, then you might as will cut off your hair. The you in this comment is not direct towards you, kalsingh but every sikh.

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