Is Marriage Important?

[Guest marriage]

why dont u wanna get married?

scared?

seems like a hoot to me

[Sikh_Soldier]

LOL at sikhi-centric views on marriage, many many gursikhs have chosen in the past and present to not get married. If being sikhi-centric if about devoting your every resource for the betterment of Sikhi then you can use your time to do parchaar and help sikhs understand Sikhi. Just having kids and raising them as gursikhs will not necessarily make them kamaee vaale gursikhs when they have minds of their own. Doing parchaar with your life, or other sevas is just as good as getting married and having kids.

[Guest Guest]

ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ ਰੂਪ ਚੇਰੀ ਕੀ ਨਿਆਈ ਸੋਭ ਨਹੀ ਬਿਨੁ ਭਰਤਾਰੇ ॥੧॥ (SGGS jeeo - Ang 1267)

[VanHelsingh]

LOL at sikhi-centric views on marriage, many many gursikhs have chosen in the past and present to not get married. If being sikhi-centric if about devoting your every resource for the betterment of Sikhi then you can use your time to do parchaar and help sikhs understand Sikhi. Just having kids and raising them as gursikhs will not necessarily make them kamaee vaale gursikhs when they have minds of their own. Doing parchaar with your life, or other sevas is just as good as getting married and having kids.

But what about the insistence from some people that being a householder is the only acceptable way of living for a Gursikh? I'm not doubting your words, brother. I'm still looking for answers to these questions to satiate my curiosity in regards to this topic. I thought marriage was not debatable in Sikhi.

[Sikh_Soldier]

But what about the insistence from some people that being a householder is the only acceptable way of living for a Gursikh? I'm not doubting your words, brother. I'm still looking for answers to these questions to satiate my curiosity in regards to this topic. I thought marriage was not debatable in Sikhi.

lol don't worry about other people paji, I've learnt over the last few years that there is very little that is unacceptable in real sikhi. Discipline is important but when you take away the human-ness of "religion" and you realise that Sikhi is about falling in love with maharaj and becoming maharaj then anything that you do out of true pyaar is accepted by Maharaj. After keeping intense rehit and bibek, you may realise one day that in actual fact there are no rules. Not to say that you shouldn't follow maryada but only if you understand why you're doing such things. Really try and understand the essence of maharaj and he'll show you what he wants.

[PAL 07]

and heres another big problem we face??MARRIAGE... if its not i want to committ suicide or i cant handle the slightest stress of life...

108 Sri Maan Sant Baba Nand Ji once said "if a married Gursikhni does only 1 months bhaghti, she will get the fruit of 13 years that a saint would do"

In my opinion marriage is one of the best things that could happen in life, and thats why Guru Sahib calls marriage Anand Karaj

[malkeet]

Marriage is very important in my opionion. But its important to marry someone whom is spiritually inclined as you are. I was hoping sangat could answer two of my questions. what is the ideal age for an amritdhari to marry? Do older amritdhari male/females find it more difficult finding a partner?

[wahgrrru]

waheguru g,

khalsa50

u wud be really confused after reading these contrdictory posts..Now do't think about it much ,u never know wat happens next.

A sikh girl was there. She was also confused as r u.At last she decide not to marry and she did ardaas at harmandir sahib to live a life of brahmchari. She was just going back to her home and some problem arised and she met a singh there. They both didn't knew wat was happening . And now they r going to marry .

So all is wahegurui g's bana u don't have to worry .Let that happen wat's going on .

Ur parents will choose the best for u. So don't take tension just do ardaas , more n more simran & also increase ur nitnem as after marriage in most of the cases the simran and nitname gets reduced after marriage. Always remember this

kabeer jo grihu karehi th dharam kar naahee th kar bairaag |

Kabeer, if you live the householder's life, then practice righteousness; otherwise, you might as well retire from the world.

bairaagee bandhan karai thaa ko baddo abhaag |243|

If someone renounces the world, and then gets involved in worldly entanglements, he shall suffer terrible misfortune. ||243||

waheguru g ka khalsa

waheguru g ki fateh

[chatanga]

If you do not find a partner who you love and who loves you, [/size][/font]

What is wrong with taking the compatibility of your potential life partner into account? Is it not important to have shared interests...

research what is the status of love between man and woman, in gurmat and you will get your answer to this. i beleive that kuljit singh has written an essay about this somewhere on the net, if anyone knows where it it, copy and paste here for sangat benefit.

compatability or shared interests can become incompatibility and different interests the next day between man and wife. They are not stable, but your primary shared interest should be Sikhi, and both man and wife will learn to adjust to each others needs after mariage, that is why we are humans and not animals.

But what about the insistence from some people that being a householder is the only acceptable way of living for a Gursikh?

it isnt the ONLY way, it is the prefered or best way.

108 Sri Maan Sant Baba Nand Ji once said "if a married Gursikhni does only 1 months bhaghti, she will get the fruit of 13 years that a saint would do"

yes the great Saint, Ishar Singh Rara wale was asked about the difference in doing paath/naam abhiyaas between householders and celibates, and his Holiness gave the answer, that celibates have to do 12 years of abhiyaas to equal one year of abhiyaas by householder sikhs.

So a Bhenji said on this topic she and her sister do naam simran when they come from work but can you imagine her doing Rehraas Sahib 12 times? or panj banias 12 times in the morning.

what is the ideal age for an amritdhari to marry?

there isnt one.

[VanHelsingh]

I think another issue I'd like to bring to the table, is that if a person is honest about their nature, and appreciates that they really like the "lure of flesh", then it is best to get married. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with these earthly relations - its just that you may as well have a socially acceptable (and religiously accepted) outlet for your desires if one is that way inclined. But if you're not really fussed about these kind of issues, and such relations aren't your "cup of tea" (for whatever reason) then I suppose there's no harm in not entering the married way of life.

After reading the myriad of equally valid views and opinions from the sangat in this thread, I've come to the conclusion that the best solution is to seek a life partner. However, if such a journey does not bear fruit, then I guess there's no shame in remaining single.

(Just my opinion - most likely far from the truth but still my opinion).