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84Singhni

Caste Problem In Love Marriage

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I know this boy for the past 2 years of my life. We became so close & then 7 months ago he asked me out. I didnt say yes to him straight, I made him wait.

Then, I said yes to him, because I thought he is a good boy & caring & is in SIKHI.

Then, we had sex. (Wasn't on purpose! Just happened, ME & HIM relised WE have made a big mistake!)

We became serious in out LOVE relationship & want to get married.

Now, he asked his mom if he is aloud to get married to a girl not in the same caste as him. 'JATT'

His mom goes NO!

He then didn't tell me. He goes its hard for him to break up all a sudden.

I don't want to break up with him because I LOVE HIM ALOT & I want to stay with who I had sex with.

We haven't broke up yet, we want to wait for a solution!

I don't know what to do now.

Please, help me as your sister.

ASAP!!

WJKK WJKF JI

*** Mod Note: Please keep the replies clean, we are monitoring this thread closely ***

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Guest guest5

You do know that s*x before marriage is a Bujjar Kurehit? If you are amritdhari you need to go peshi and you both need to tell your parents you had s*x with each other. No way will his mum say no then, you both went too far in your relationship and should get married now.

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Guest Truth Seeker

Yes you shouldn't have had relations that serious before marriage as we all know things can go wrong at the last minute and also sex before marriage is not a good thing.

But whats done is done, pray for forgiveness and you will be forgiven. But I would suggest you fight for your marriage, you love each other and alot of kids have to negotiate with their parents over these issues. Tell your parents the Gurus did not believe in the caste system and that they are acting contrary to gods teachings.

If they don't listen then either run away or get married anyway. Not fighting for this is being cowardly, god has obviously put you to in a position to educate your families on this issue, a great lesson could be learned by them from this all, you would be doing gods seva.

Caste and creed does not matter to god, we are all equally His children in His eyes, we would all do very well to not only marry out of caste but out of culture aswell becuase this bullsh*t of judging and segregating people by their image needs to end. Sikhi is not a religion, Guru Nanak Dev Ji gave the world the gift of Truth just as Jesus and Buddha did. These God realised beings kick started the evolution of people everywhere into Sants, Brahmgyanis, Bhagats and Gurus, they lit up the world with their very presence and their students followed suit in attaining Enlightenment.

So people let us disperse, spread the light of Truth and educate our brothers and sisters instead of isolating them and falling into the devils plan of segregation.

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Guest Truth seeker

Ask for forgiveness and you'll be forgiven.

Either fight to marry this boy as his parents are going against gods teachings and truth by creating boundaries between races when really we are all the same. If they don't agree, get married anyway or run away. God is obviously giving you a seva to educate your boyfriends family with the Truth.

We would all do well to marry out of race and caste so we can help to end the bullsh*t segregation that society and the devil have created.

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Guest gupt

Just remember one thing both of u should have to marry with each other and no one else as u to both had committed a sin now u can't marry anyone else.......so do ardaas for forgiveness and for u'r marriage. Educate his family and if they don't agree say u'r boyfriend that not being a coward we should marry with each other <edited: lets not give the wrong advice>...........

BEST OF LUCK!

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If the lad is amritdhari, then he should be with you 100%, as he obviously wanted to marry you because he bedded you.

Would he tolerate someone sleeping with his sister then discarding her because someone's parents said 'NO'?

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Guest guest5
If they don't listen then either run away or get married anyway.

No, they shouldn't run away and get married. Parents are much more important because they have done so much for us. I'm sure their parents would allow them to get married anyway if they found out they slept with each other. If they still don't accept the marriage after fighting for it, then they just have to accept it.

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Don't betray your parents either. Sit and talk with the boy and tell him what you want to do and talk...

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Guest Truth seeker

^^^Choosing your parents is putting them before god. If your parents cannot accept on the grounds of caste then they are not on gods side (the side of Truth which is Him.)

Every single thing that happens to us has a reason. There is no such thing as coincidence, he watches us always. It seems he wants you to speak the truth now, educating confused and prejudiced souls is the least you can do as seva now after engaging in relations before marriage.

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Guest guest5

^^^Choosing your parents is putting them before god. If your parents cannot accept on the grounds of caste then they are not on gods side (the side of Truth which is Him.)

Every single thing that happens to us has a reason. There is no such thing as coincidence, he watches us always. It seems he wants you to speak the truth now, educating confused and prejudiced souls is the least you can do as seva now after engaging in relations before marriage.

Then they are also putting their emotional attachment and kaam before God if they choose to run away. They need to fight for the marriage but if their parents still don't accept it, then they would have to accept it too. They wouldn't be going against God if they listen to their parents because they still wouldn't believe in caste. It's a bigger sin to betray your parents and to hurt them. It's not their parents fault, its theirs for even having a bf/gf relationship before marriage which is against gurmat.

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^^^Choosing your parents is putting them before god. If your parents cannot accept on the grounds of caste then they are not on gods side (the side of Truth which is Him.)

Every single thing that happens to us has a reason. There is no such thing as coincidence, he watches us always. It seems he wants you to speak the truth now, educating confused and prejudiced souls is the least you can do as seva now after engaging in relations before marriage.

hows it going against god? please care to elaborate...

the fact that they commited a bujjar kurehat of having sex kindof makes it a pretty bad predicament and it kind of makes it in a situation where you have to get marries. i just dont understand how you can accidently do something like that. and if your amritdhari that makes it even worse..

krvqu Blw n krvt qyrI ]

karavath bhalaa n karavatt thaeree ||

I would rather be cut apart by a saw, than have You turn Your back on me.

not trying to be rude but, im assuming your amritdhari (correct me if im wrong). but if you are, then you pretty much turned your back to guru sahib. first and foremost you and your friend should get go infront of the panj pyara and take peshi.

we learn from our mistakes but you need to understand that maybe you should listen to you parents because maybe theyre not only saying it for caste but maybe because they dont trust the guy or something.. you never want to argue with your parents. what are we without our parents? they raised us. most of the time they lead us to sikhi. they teach us manners and how to live. we will always be in debt to them so we should always respect our parents. if you know for sure that they are saying no because of his caste, then sit down and talk. dont be too convinced that this guy is great. he may seem great now but you never know how ppl change.

bul chuk maf

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Guest 84Singhni

You do know that s*x before marriage is a Bujjar Kurehit? If you are amritdhari you need to go peshi and you both need to tell your parents you had s*x with each other. No way will his mum say no then, you both went too far in your relationship and should get married now.

firstly thanks for your reply.

sorry i dont know the meaning of bujjar kurehit.

no im not a amritdhari im a rehat dhari and where a patka.

his mom is amritdhari & he isnt yet amritdhari. he is rehat dhari like me.

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Guest 84Singhni

Yes you shouldn't have had relations that serious before marriage as we all know things can go wrong at the last minute and also sex before marriage is not a good thing.

But whats done is done, pray for forgiveness and you will be forgiven. But I would suggest you fight for your marriage, you love each other and alot of kids have to negotiate with their parents over these issues. Tell your parents the Gurus did not believe in the caste system and that they are acting contrary to gods teachings.

If they don't listen then either run away or get married anyway. Not fighting for this is being cowardly, god has obviously put you to in a position to educate your families on this issue, a great lesson could be learned by them from this all, you would be doing gods seva.

Caste and creed does not matter to god, we are all equally His children in His eyes, we would all do very well to not only marry out of caste but out of culture aswell becuase this bullsh*t of judging and segregating people by their image needs to end. Sikhi is not a religion, Guru Nanak Dev Ji gave the world the gift of Truth just as Jesus and Buddha did. These God realised beings kick started the evolution of people everywhere into Sants, Brahmgyanis, Bhagats and Gurus, they lit up the world with their very presence and their students followed suit in attaining Enlightenment.

So people let us disperse, spread the light of Truth and educate our brothers and sisters instead of isolating them and falling into the devils plan of segregation.

thanks for your reply.

& i guess that i do agree with you.

but, im trying to say that i want to get married to that person that i had sex with.

his mom is the problem between us.

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Guest 84Singhni

Ask for forgiveness and you'll be forgiven.

Either fight to marry this boy as his parents are going against gods teachings and truth by creating boundaries between races when really we are all the same. If they don't agree, get married anyway or run away. God is obviously giving you a seva to educate your boyfriends family with the Truth.

We would all do well to marry out of race and caste so we can help to end the bullsh*t segregation that society and the devil have created.

thank you for the reply.

but he cant run away becuz he doesnt want his parents to leave him.

i would do anything to pay the price of my paap (sin).

i have tried alot to do seva for my boyfriend.

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