Facial Hair Issue

[Guest sadphenji]

well, ive learnt a lot about sikhi..... i used to do my eyebrows, remove facial hair (on upperlip) well ive stopped with all this, and i want to seriously start to follow guru ji's path

at first i started with full confidence..

but now the facial hair is getting more....i get very insecure..

it feels like my classmates just stare at the hair,, my family would torture me, even my dad...

i just cant accept the fact... that this hair is coming back, and coming back worse..

i feel so sad, but i cant turn my guru ji down

some [close 2 me] recommend to do laser

how can i do this, this is fooling the world, but not fooling guru ji

but guru ji can do incredible things, he makes thing happen that never can

will guru ji listen to my ardas, reduce hair?

i feel ashamed asking this

but at this point ,

everyone who talks to me about this, cant imagine , caus they have not that much hair, or even dont have...

[_singhni_]

phenjiiiiii 1st off your not alone..

having been in a similar situation to you before i started on the path of sikhi and took amrith i can relate to you..i have always had hairy arms and facial hair and my confidence was like yours..BUT i started to do moolmantar, it really helped me realise that what people think about my hair does not matter at all..take the facial hair etc as a gift (in the same way kes on our head is a gift from god). the facial hair you have is also a gift from God..i dont know if this will help but heres something to think about (hopfully will help you become stronger and see this situation as a positive thing)..:

there are girls out there personally known to dhass who have lost their hair including facial hair due to a illness which is not commonly known about and they would do anything to have hair including eyebrows etc...so think yourself as lucky...next time your family/friends torture you remeber this: God is always with you 24/7 and the 'torture' is just a test from Guru je testing your strenght..

hope i have somehow helped...

if iv confused you then im sorry (my wording is not great lol).

guru kirpa...and keep up your hard work guru je says if we take 1 step guru je takes hundreds/thousands towards us

[guptkuri]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!

Bhena Ji, I know its tough. I have had my father tell me that i have a mustache and make fun of me. And recently my bhabi tried to get me to get a facial for a friends wedding.

But you know what? It doesn't matter what they say because the say it because they can't do it themselves. They are weak and caught in maya and they can't bear it that you are stronger than they are. Don't become one of them again. You Guru Ji's daughter and you are meant to stick out in a million. Be cool and confident with who you are and your looks and you know what? for the first time in your life you will notice that people will start looking beyond the looks to the real you.

-guptkuri

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

[SunSingh]

keep asking maharaj for chardi kala, for strength to pass the tests. get yourself better sangat, those who don't make you doubt yourself and feel less. ditch those who make you question keeping your hair, even if they are so called best friends. you need lots of naam bani and gurdwara sangat to build up the strength to pass some of life's tests, but it will give you that strength. focus outside yourself, focus on seva. this is your karma playing itself out. you can pass these tests if you make mahraaj your anchor in life, instead of making people's opinions your anchor.

who we marry is in our karam, so just make maharaj your aasra and work hard, everythign will come to you.

[AmarjitKaur]

I can relate to you too bhenji. But with guru sahib's kirpa, never felt weak enough to think of using modern technology to get rid of hair. Yes I have been suggested the same by friends and siblings. Guess what, I take it as a strong point to relate to my father "dhan dhan Guru Gobind Singh jee". I actually feel stronger when people giggle or give me looks. I think that I am committed and this is one way I can show my committment to my Guru. And at the end, as you said, whose happiness is more important, Guruji's or world's??

The answer to me always comes back is "Guruji's". So thats what my strength is and should be

of each singh/singhni.

Always remember "bhai prapat manukh dehuriya, Gobind milaN kee eh teree bariya". Baaki sabh

adamber hai, maya hai, but at the same time, es sabh de vich hee prabh vasda hai.

[Kharkooartsy]

i am sucha horrible person not a totally proper singhni i shouldnt be saying anything but.. i remember when i stopped cutting,shavng my hair it wasnt tough at all.. i didnt think about it i used to be in so much chardikala do paath eventhough i didnt know how to i actually used to try to get better at sikhi... my eyebrows got bushier i didnt care at alll and facial hair didnt bother me.. but now i feel more trapped into maya and now i see that i do care about facial hair and my looks more than ever before.. i care about my looks because i am trapped in maya.. although i care about looks today eventhough i shouldnt i think about who i was when i wasnt into sikhi,, yh i looked better than now... i still havnt improved as a person.. i am still weak and full of maya but the realization and getting to know more about sikhi..wearing dastaar means so much to me now.. i am still a disgusting person i care about public opinion too and i am trapped in maya too just as others that arent into sikhi are but i have taken a step forward and that is the though of taking amrit...and being part of sangat i know one day i will become a better person and then no other person will matter

it is so hard without sangat especially when ur new into sikhi my parents supported me so much but i know other people questioned why i was getting more into sikhi they felt sorry and felt like i am taking my happiness and true essence of life away from myself.. but they dont understand that its totally the opposite of how they feel sikhi brings true happiness.. u go thru people asking ur questions.. many times i let people walk all over me hurt my feelings other times i stood up for myself.. i look back and think... you know i shulda stood up for myself then" but in the end it doesnt matter what matters is whether you let what they say make you someone you dont want to be... people will talk about ur hair... non sikh/desis will judge but you must try to be confident learn to stand up for urself but more importantly make sure u dont fall weak.

i dont know if this post helped.. but i think most singhnis go thru this even if they arent hairy and all just wearing a dastaar or being into sikhi u get lotta test you mustnt give in!

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Guru Gobind Singh ji asked for a head on 1699, Visakhi Day.

Just compare that to what we offer nowdays in order to partake Khandey da Amrit.

Khalsa is pure as Gold and in order to make gold, it is necessary to pass the Fire.

I admit that it is much more difficult for a Bibi to become a Singhni (in word & deed).

If your priority in life is to attain Guru Sahib's bakhshish then you will have to put everything aside; wishes, parents, career etc

In my opinion those who want to be like Punj Piyaras or Bibi Bhag Kaur ji shouldn't get married.

Reason - Punj Piyaras never got married and Bibi Bhag Kaur ji's set an example of a Singhni (Sant+Sipahi) AT THE COST of being an obedient or devoted wife.

So the choice is yours, can't have both.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest Guest]

If your priority in life is to attain Guru Sahib's bakhshish then you will have to put everything aside; wishes, parents, career etc

In my opinion those who want to be like Punj Piyaras or Bibi Bhag Kaur ji shouldn't get married.

Reason - Punj Piyaras never got married and Bibi Bhag Kaur ji's set an example of a Singhni (Sant+Sipahi) AT THE COST of being an obedient or devoted wife.

So the choice is yours, can't have both.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

That is the worst advice I have ever seen given on this forum. Why can you not keep Rehat, do consistent Amritvela, Naam Abhiyaas and day long Gurbani within the household? The whole point of Sikhi is that Mukti is available from within a Grishti Jeevan. To say that "you can't have both" just puts off people considering keeping Rehat.

To the original poster, you should do Ardas that the Kesh does not bother you instead of making it disappear - it won't go away regardless of what you do. Do more Naam Bani and make this the focus of your life rather than your hair. It is possible that people will stare at you since in this society wearing a dastar or keeping kesh is very different to what most people do. Having some facial hair does not make you less feminine or good looking.

[Harjeet]

You know everything happens for a reason.

The thing is most women in this world would probably have facial hair. But what sets you aside from them? They are insecure, so they cut their hair, to try and hide their true appearance. This applies to male or female really. The whole world is obsessed only with their outside appearance, and in this mindest, we forget about our inner beauty. If you have the courage to stand up for who you are, despite others criticism, and opinions. Well then you have broken outside of the little box, which is the fear of what other people think. Because in reality, it only matters what your Guru thinks of you, anybody elses opinion does not matter really.

The excess facial hair, the people who disown about it, you have attracted this experience. It is a blessing from God, because now you have been given an oppurtinity to evolve and develop your soul. Are you going to sucumb to fear of what other people think? Or are you going to get strong, from this experience, and say despite what people may think of me, your doing this for your Guru! Only what Guruji says about you matters. So you are going to stick with it no matter what!

And the people who may give you funny looks now, when they get older, they will realise, "oh yes, i used to laugh at that girl, but now i realise that she was actually very brave, that despite getting laughed at, she stuck with her faith, her Guru must be very special" They will realise how foolish it was for them to think they were better than you. Because usually when people say something negative about you, its because of their own insecurity. Like the fact, most women would have facial hair, just they decide to cut it, so its hidden. So they are insecure about themselves. This is an oppurtunity now, for you to be able to get over your fears. Because In fear we forget about Guru because we are always worried on what people will say, but now think of it as a chance Guruji has given you so you can learn to become fearless.

Whats more you will be helping to inspire others. All the stories of the above posters, were inspirational aswell. Although I am not a female, but still, when you hear about people who despite the critics stand up for what they believe in, that empowers you. And then even the negative people, down the line will realise, the bravery by Sikhs, who kept to their faith no matter what. They may say bad things now, but they too will remember these situations when they snap out of their trance, they will remember, and it will give them hope. That there are good people in this world.

Out society teaches us only to treat the symptoms. But treating the symptoms, does not cure the underlying problem. For example if you are a woman getting excess facial hair, most people just cut it, and when it grows again, they cut it again. But what they don't understand symptoms are you friends! Because they are telling you there is an underlying problem. So you need to cure the root cause, not symptoms. Our food and water, is polluted with estrogen, and negative hormones, this is the cause of excess hair, that many not seem natural. So all you got to do is clean up your diet, exercise. And we need sunlight, not getting enough vitamin D, from the sun, creates excess hair, in places where you may think it shouldn't. Because its as if your hair it trying to absorb the nutrients somehow, that you are depriving your body of. So just give your body those nutrients it needs, and it will go by itself naturally.

We got to remember how everything is our karma, so that means we are responsible for everything that happens to us. All diseases arise from our consciousness, but in the same way, with our consciousness we can treat all diseases. And Guruji gave us the most powerful medicine, of his naam. Whenever we say Waheguru, we are getting cleansed of all our negative karma, diseases etc. And through God's grace we become more pure. So if you are ever suffering from anything you know the cure!

Whatsmore it is hard in this age, to get pure food,we have to buy things from the shops, so we don't know the kind of things like chemicals that are put in it. These are the stuff responsible for hormonal imbalance, which causes excess hair, in places not deemed natural, so by japping naam around our food, when we cook it, before we eat it, helps to remove the negative energy from, and purifies it. Because thats all what food really is, its just energy.

You ever heard of warewolf sydrome? or hypertrichosis? Its a disease where hair grows all over you body. Imagine how this guy must feel? Well actually its quite inspirational to hear what he says!

He has hair all over his body like a monkey, but he says he doesn't cut his hair because "its a gift from God". So if this guy can keep his hair, then ofcourse you can! There is always someone in the world, who you can consider worse off than you, So just be thankful for what you have got! Be brave, don't let fear take you down, and remember, at the end of the day all problems originiate from the mind anyway, so with Waheguru's help you can make them dissapear to!

Hope that helps, sorry for long post, i tend to get carried away.

[Guest Guest]

That is the worst advice I have ever seen given on this forum. Why can you not keep Rehat, do consistent Amritvela, Naam Abhiyaas and day long Gurbani within the household? The whole point of Sikhi is that Mukti is available from within a Grishti Jeevan. To say that "you can't have both" just puts off people considering keeping Rehat.

To the original poster, you should do Ardas that the Kesh does not bother you instead of making it disappear - it won't go away regardless of what you do. Do more Naam Bani and make this the focus of your life rather than your hair. It is possible that people will stare at you since in this society wearing a dastar or keeping kesh is very different to what most people do. Having some facial hair does not make you less feminine or good looking.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Guru Gobind Singh ji asked for a head on 1699, Visakhi Day.

Just compare that to what we offer nowdays in order to partake Khandey da Amrit.

Khalsa is pure as Gold and in order to make gold, it is necessary to pass the Fire.

I admit that it is much more difficult for a Bibi to become a Singhni (in word & deed).

If your priority in life is to attain Guru Sahib's bakhshish then you will have to put everything aside; wishes, parents, career etc

In my opinion those who want to be like Punj Piyaras or Bibi Bhag Kaur ji shouldn't get married.

Reason - Punj Piyaras never got married and Bibi Bhag Kaur ji's set an example of a Singhni (Sant+Sipahi) AT THE COST of being an obedient or devoted wife.

So the choice is yours, can't have both.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Be cool and CAREFULLY read the highlighted portion above.

I am talking about those Singhs or Singhnis who aren't ready for any compromise on Gurmat.

For them it is advisable to remain un-married.

Reason - Marriage and Grehasti Jeevan is ALL ABOUT ADJUSTMENT & COMPROMISE.

Inflexible, rigid and disobedient women don't QUALIFY to be a wife, daughter-in-law or mother.

Parents tolerate but in-laws WON'T.

Even if they get married, Marriage won't work or last.

So it's better to avoid such a situation.