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Facial Hair Issue


Guest sadphenji
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I know my guru and even though I am not a fully fledge sikh I know the Guruji knows I am trying to be a good sikh and it will be many many years before I join the faith because unlike sikhs that have joined the faith (on a wim) and continue to bleech their upperlips and laser their armpits, legs and facial hair in general I am not going to be a hipocrite (may have spelt that worng)when I do become a fully fledge sikh. Do not feel presurred to keep your hair or cut it as each of us has a path to follow and even though we all go off course we will get their in the end. Those people that suggest she shouldn't listen to what others say are forgetting Guruji always listended to what other people said and then Guruji would speak and left it those people to decide what was right and wrong. Let others decide if they want to continue being your relative or friend do not break relationships yourself that is not the Guruji way from the way I understand the Guruji.

I went to a camp once and it cited that we should not judge others, talk ill of others and dispose of others as that was not the way of the Guruji...so I have tried my hardest to stick to that and have failed on ocassion.

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Guest sadphenji

about marriage, no one will marry me, how can someone accept a wife, daughter-in-law with so much hair on her face, when even my own family doesnt accept

i want to be a proud sikh, but when i look at myself im ashamed...i try to get rid of this feeling by doing simran, at some points i really dont care, but the negative feeling is getting worse and worse

i should b thankful i dont get that much hair...it could have been worse..

but im trapped in maya...what will others think of me, what will my parents think of me, my siblings who are ashamed of me in front of their friends

there is no alternative, i have no choice, i dont want to go back to the 'fake' me, but i also cant accept the natural me, when all the hair will come back

caus guess what, not all the hair came back, im struggling with this issue, cause i know, there is more to follow....

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Here is the Sakhi of Bhagat Prahlad. When all odds are against you, then do as Bhagat Prahlaad did.

http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Bhagat_Prahlada

The Sakhi (Story)

It is believed that while the King, Harnaakash was meditating, his wife, who was expecting a child was sent to Sage Narada's hermitage. She lived in the Ashram of the great sage and learned about religion and the glory of God from him. The child within her, Prahlad, too is believed to have absorbed all this knowledge.

Harnaakash brought his wife back to his city where Prahlad was born. Prahlad in the meanwhile was growing up and was Harnaakhash's delight. He asked Prahlad: "Son, tell me what do you think is the best thing in life"?

Prahlad replied: "To renounce the world and seek refuge in God".

Harnaakhash laughed. Then he called his Son's teacher to him, saying: "Guard him closely. Don't let him out of your sight!

After many months, his teacher said: "Prahlad, I think you are now ready to meet your father."

His father asked him: "You have been with your Guru a long time! What have you learnt?

Prahlad said: "I have leant that the most worthwhile occupation for anyone is the worship of the Lord".

Harnaakhash was very angry: "O cursed child! Who taught you such perverse things?"

Prahlad remained calm and said: "He reveals himself to all who are devoted to Him."

Harnaakhash shouted angrily: "This boy must not live! Take him away and kill him!"

The father condemns his son

The soldiers started attacking Prahlad when Prahlad was meditating, but their weapons could not touch Prahlad. Most deadly snakes were let loose on Prahlad, but their fangs turned impotent. Mighty elephants could not trample him. He was pushed off a cliff but Prahlad was unharmed. The wicked aunt of Prahlad, Holika who had a boon to brave fire without getting hurt, sat with Prahlad in fire but Prahlad was unharmed. In desperation, Harnaakhash had him fed with deadly poison but it turned into nectar.

Prahlad was sent to his teacher to try again. This time the teacher tried to get Prahlad interested in means for acquiring wealth and physical pleasures. But Prahlad thought to himself: "How can the pursuit of physical pleasures and wealth bring happiness? It will only lead to envy and anger."

The teacher eventually gave up, when Prahlad told his father that God is the soul of all created beings and is present everywhere. Harnaakhash roared: "Where is He? If He is everywhere why is He not in this Pillar? If He is not there then I shall cut off your head with my sword. Let your Lord protect you."

As Harnaakhash was striking the pillar with his sword, a Nara-singha (man lion) emerged from the Pillar. The Narsingha was neither beast nor man. Narsingha caught Harnaakhash and it was the twilight hour, carried him to the threshold of the court-room which was neither indoors nor outdoors and while holding him on his lap, tore him apart with his nails.

Mention in Gurbani

ਪ੍ਰਹਲਾਦ ਕੈ ਕਾਰਜਿ ਹਰਿ ਆਪੁ ਦਿਖਾਇਆ ॥ ਭਗਤਾ ਕਾ ਬੋਲੁ ਆਗੈ ਆਇਆ ॥੧੦॥ For the sake of Prahlaad, the Lord Himself appeared. The word of the devotee came true. (10)

Bani by Guru Amar Das

Bhairao, Third Mehla, Second House:

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

The Creator has staged His Wondrous Play.

I listen to the Unstruck Sound-current of the Shabad, and the Bani of His Word.

The self-willed manmukhs are deluded and confused, while the Gurmukhs understand.

The Creator creates the Cause that causes. ||1||

Prahlaad's father sent him to school, to learn to read.

He took his writing tablet and went to the teacher.

He said, ""I shall not read anything except the Naam, the Name of the Lord.

Write the Lord's Name on my tablet.""||2||

Prahlaad's mother said to her son, "I advise you

not to read anything except what you are taught.

"He answered, ""The Great Giver, my Fearless Lord God is always with me.

If I were to forsake the Lord, then my family would be disgraced.""||3||

"Prahlaad has corrupted all the other students.

He does not listen to what I say, and he does his own thing.

He instigated devotional worship in the townspeople.

"The gathering of the wicked people could not do anything against him." ||4||

Sanda and Marka, his teachers, made the complaint.

All the demons kept trying in vain.

The Lord protected His humble devotee, and preserved his honor.

What can be done by mere created beings? ||5||

Because of his past karma, the demon ruled over his kingdom.

He did not realize the Lord; the Lord Himself confused him.

He started an argument with his son Prahlaad.

The blind one did not understand that his death was approaching. ||6||

Prahlaad was placed in a cell, and the door was locked.

The fearless child was not afraid at all.

He said, ""Within my being, is the Guru, the Lord of the World.""

The created being tried to compete with his Creator, but he assumed this name in vain.

That which was predestined for him has come to pass; he started an argument with the Lord's humble servant. ||7||

The father raised his weapon to strike down Prahlaad,

saying,"Where is your God, the Lord of the Universe, now?"

He replied, ""The Life of the World, the Great Giver, is my Help and Support in the end.

Wherever I look, I see Him permeating and prevailing.""||8||

Tearing down the pillars, the Lord Himself appeared.

The egotistical demon was killed and destroyed.

The minds of the devotees were filled with bliss, and congratulations poured in.

He blessed His servant with glorious greatness. ||9||

He created birth, death and attachment.

The Creator has ordained coming and going in reincarnation.

For the sake of Prahlaad, the Lord Himself appeared.

The word of the devotee came true. ||10||

The gods proclaimed the victory of Lakshmi,

and said,"O mother, make this form of the Man-lion disappear!

"Lakshmi was afraid, and did not approach.

The humble servant Prahlaad came and fell at the Lord's Feet. ||11||

The True Guru implanted the treasure of the Naam within.

Power, property and all Maya is false.

But still, the greedy people continue clinging to them.

Without the Name of the Lord, the mortals are punished in His Court. ||12||

Says Nanak, everyone acts as the Lord makes them act.

They alone are approved and accepted, who focus their consciousness on the Lord.

He has made His devotees His Own.

The Creator has appeared in His Own Form. ||13||1||2||

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Guru Gobind Singh ji asked for a head on 1699, Visakhi Day.

Just compare that to what we offer nowdays in order to partake Khandey da Amrit.

Khalsa is pure as Gold and in order to make gold, it is necessary to pass the Fire.

I admit that it is much more difficult for a Bibi to become a Singhni (in word & deed).

If your priority in life is to attain Guru Sahib's bakhshish then you will have to put everything aside; wishes, parents, career etc

In my opinion those who want to be like Punj Piyaras or Bibi Bhag Kaur ji shouldn't get married.

Reason - Punj Piyaras never got married and Bibi Bhag Kaur ji's set an example of a Singhni (Sant+Sipahi) AT THE COST of being an obedient or devoted wife.

So the choice is yours, can't have both.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

The red advice is totally wrong, becuase the Gurus themselves got married. Is this person saying our Gurus should not have got married? Because, if we didn't get married, we'd be saying that we were somehow better than our very own Gurus, which is obviously impossible, and a silly notion!!. Guru Nanak Dev Ji said it was good to live a family life and that you didn't need to disappear into the woods/jungle to worship God!! Guru Nanak Dev Ji said you could worship God as a family person.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji also said why do you condemn women who give birth to Kings? In other words, women should live a normal human life, as gifted to them by God.

If Sikhs followed the red advice, they'd loose their confidence and become unemployed (most Amritdharis I know are richer than the sheared Sikh etc). Also, all Amritdhari Sikhs would die out in a Single generation!! (isn't that what indra gandi wanted???)

One of Guru Gobind Singh's Singhs will marry you one day. And that person will be a fine figure of a man! Hopefully Guru Ji will bless you both with beautiful children too!! (If that's what you want in life!).

Both single and married people are equal !!!

Keep the Sangat of Singhnis. You know the same way street dancers keep sangat with street dancers, clubbers keep sangat with clubbers etc etc (Singhnis can keep sangat with Singhnis)

You can see why the above post was posted as a guest!!!!

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@11Gurus1Jot - You have to admit though, the Gurus were way, way beyond any of us. We can't dream to emulate them. Our Gurus were capable of limitless feats. We, on the other hand, are well....a bit rubbish. :D Yet they had great hopes for us and they gave us a great blueprint to live our lives by.

Get married or stayed single - it's a topic that was discussed on sikhsangat prior to Christmas, and even then there were wildly differing opinions. Going by maryada, we've been instructed to get hitched so I suppose that's the way it must be.

As for the OP, your family should be ashamed of themselves for belittling you. Sikhs do have inherent issues with self-esteem and shenanigans like these aren't helping. You'll find a Singh who will respect you for adhering to your faith with such determination. Don't lose heart!

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Guest pkaur

VahegurooJeeKaaKhalsaa VahegurooJeeKeeFatehe!!

I have not read all the replies to Bhenji's post but here are my two cents. Bhenji Guroo Saahib has given us Sikhi, and he has not made it easy. Not only do we fight the outside world everyday but we also fight within ourselves every single day. We fight the Maya that gets to our head and bothers us every second. We fight Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, and Ahankaar. Think about it how many of the people in this world even think about these things which Guroo Saahib has given us to think about? Let me tell you. Not many. We need to start considering ourselves lucky to even get this feeling of fighting. When I started wearing Keski here in the US(And trust me I along with maybe 4-5 girls who I see maybe once in a year wear keski.), I always felt as though people kept staring at me, my unibrow, kids around me are laughing at me, etc. etc. But that was not the case. I brought that feeling myself because I felt insecure. Now after 5 years why don't I get that feeling again? Even though I work in a Retail environment? Because I realized it was me who made the situation worse on myself. Trust me if you treat yourself as a Guroo Saahib Jee's Singhnee the whole world will treat you the same. But if you treat yourself as an insecure person like I did, it will project out of you. Start loving every single kes on your body. And also educate yourself on why you even keep kes. I mean what is the importance of keeping them because if someone does ask you randomly you should be able to explain it to them in a professional manner. Also think about this. Who matters to you the most? The people who will say all the meanest things to you in the world and have no kamaaee at all? Or Guroo Saahib who is ever so loving to give you all you want in Sikhi and in your life? We are not sheeps who follows what the world tells us to do. We are Guroo Saahib Jee's fauj who only obeys Guroo Saahib and no one else.

VahegurooJeeKaaKhalsaa VahegurooJeeKeeFatehe!!

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

ਭਗਤਾ ਤੈ ਸੈਸਾਰੀਆ ਜੋੜੁ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਆਇਆ ॥ (SGGS jeeo - 145)

Between the devotees of God and worldly people there can never be an alliance.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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I keep my hair. People tend to notice my eyebrow, upper lip, side facial and arm hair. Leg hair etc no one can see as I wear trousers. I don't do anything about the bushy eyebrow hairs and nothing about the arm hairs. I completely agree with the Sikhi point of view, everyone has hair so why are we all acting like we should have none. I want to keep my hair and this is why I keep it.

However it would be a lie to say that facial hair does not impair social interactions with people. Hair does have an impact on social relationships as people just stare at it eg job interviews/at work etc. I am very fair and have black hair so its very noticable. So I bleach my upper lip and side facial hair so its less noticable. I also get random thick hairs under my chin which I pluck using a tweezer. I know as a Sikh we are not supposed to remove hair but these chin hairs are abnormal and people stare at them. I have justified in my mind that it is ok to remove abnormal hair, keep all natural hair, and bleach natural hair where people stare and then I wear long sleeved tops to cover arm hair etc.

Its not ideal....I wish I did not have to bleach, pluck and buy clothes thinking about if it will show my hair. But thats life. I think bleaching would be justifiable.

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Why would you want to bleach a gift from God?.

Facial hair shouldn't be a worry especially as there bigger things in life to worry about..

Think about it people talk about people who do their eyebrows to short etc same way people talk about people who keep there facial hair.moral of the point made: people are always going to talk it's life for you.

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I also get random thick hairs under my chin which I pluck using a tweezer. I know as a Sikh we are not supposed to remove hair but these chin hairs are abnormal and people stare at them. I have justified in my mind that it is ok to remove abnormal hair, keep all natural hair, and bleach natural hair where people stare and then I wear long sleeved tops to cover arm hair etc.

What makes you think hair under the chin is abnormal and can be removed if you feel like it, but hair on the lip is normal and cannot be removed? Many older women of any race/religion have hair under their chin as they have stopped removing it.

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