5 Piyaray And Pesh

[Guest emptyhanded]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh!

Hi sangat, i really needed advice on a certain issue that has been bothering me. When I was in about gr. 9 i had received amrit from the 5 beloved ones with guru jis kirpa (i'm in uni now)...as my high school years progressed i started to weaken and weaken in my sikhi and finally in my gr. 12 year i guess you could say i "rebelled" and tried how meat tasted like and even just trimmed my dhari a little bit (completely pointless)...after i finished my first year of uni i thought to myself that i'm an <banned word filter activated> and i need my guru ji....I decieded that i'm going to enter my second year of uni as an amritdhairi singh and with guru ji's kirpa i did. When i was doing pesh to my punj piyaray...i didn't exactly tell them everything i did because i was soo scarred and embarrassed. I told them that i lost my mind pretty much and stopped wearing my kakkars. I told them that i trimmed by dhair a little bit and as soon as i said that they're like ok fine, you commited a bujjar karheit and will need to get amritdhari again..and i accepted with open arms. i didn't even have the guts to tell them that i had ate meat too..i have now finished my 3rd year of uni and with mahraj's kirpa have been on track...i try my best to do atleast one sukhmani sahib paath per day and sometimes with mahrajs kirpa do 5 japji sahib on top (including my 7 daily prayers)... i absolutley love listening to katha now. it seems like now that i'm just going thru a rough time in my life..seems like everything is falling apart and i feel like it was because i didnt tell my punj everything (even though guru ji knows everything). The dhari trimming was the initial thing i did to "break" my amrit. i feel really really bad and am confused on what to do. I dont want to go to the punj again because my uncle does sewa in it and i guess you can say i "lucked out" because when i got amritdhari again he wasnt in the sewa....he's a really spirtitual man and i'm very scarred of him lol. sangat ji, what should i do?

another question i have is.....i have been praying to guru ji because i have some desires in my life that i would like to become true.....i did ardas on it and took hukamanama on it and this is what came up: Salok: He grants our hearts' desires, and fulfills all our hopes. He destroys pain and suffering; remember God in meditation, O Nanak - He is not far away. ||1|| Love Him, with whom you enjoy all pleasures. Do not forget that Lord, even for an instant; O Nanak, He fashioned this beautiful body. ||2|| Pauree: He gave you your soul, breath of life, body and wealth; He gave you pleasures to enjoy. He gave you households, mansions, chariots and horses; He ordained your good destiny. He gave you your children, spouse, friends and servants; God is the all-powerful Great Giver. Meditating in remembrance on the Lord, the body and mind are rejuvenated, and sorrow departs. In the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, chant the Praises of the Lord, and all your sickness shall vanish. ||3||

and soo many other coincidences have occurred in my life that it feels like it is straight from guru ji for my desires to come true....but the desires haven't exactly come true yet and i feel like sometimes its just my mind playing with me...sometimes i feel soo sad because it feels like my mind is just going crazy and i don't know what to do......but soooo many things that have happened in my life that they seem unreal and cannot be explained....is my mind just tripping out? Thanks!

[Akaalkaur84]

Fateh jio

Paji, it takes a lot to admit to ones self that you have made a mistake and that's the first step and u have taken it! I will give u my stance on each point of ur post:

1. Who did pesh to panj piaare, but still feel guilt. Guilt will only build up as your aatma maybe telling you something. Are you able to go pesh where ur uncle will not be present? Altho that is mentioned to panj piaare is in confidence do you should try not to let that get in the way but I think I'd feel the same if I had to go to someone I knew....I think being fully open wit panj piaare will get rid of the guilt and this feeling of being on a downer

2. Pesh is going to asl Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji for forgiveness as panj piaare are guru ka roop. I heard some katha and it me mentionned that if you do commit a bujhar kret, it's important to be fully open with panj piaare as they grant forgiveness and if you mistake isn't forgiven here at Amrit Sanchaar, one has to answer to his guru and dharamraja after death which is more daunting than confronting your faults now

3. It's great you have ur nitnem which will only help you and maybe push ur self further with this to keep on track

4. Nothings falling apart- mahraaj is just testing ur faith in him....trust whatever's happenng with have a good outcome and u will see this over time...and will only make I stronger! Mahraaj only tests his loved ones and as gursikhs, we should see a hardship as a gift as well as good times

5. As far ss fulfilment of desires goes..fact Is in baani it clearly states ' Jo maangai thakur apne te, soi soi deve'

Have faith and mahraaj will fulfil ur hearts desires so long as u trust mahraaj...leave it to him and continue on his path. A Katha I hears once sAid...waheguru may delay granting ur wishes by testing u, but there is darkness where he resides... Der hai (delay), andher nehi ( no darkness).

Stick on the path and everything will

Come to you..

Ps: just the bit of stuff I've heard I've shared...a kamaee vaala gursikh will hopefully answer ur post for you.

Good luck and have faith

[Guest empty handed]

dear AkaalKaur84,

thank you sooo much for you advice!! it really made me feel a lot better...may god bless you!

[Akaalkaur84]

Sorry paji, just read back what I wrote when I was half asleep this morning... Just wanted to correct myself ' there is NO darkness where he resides...hope it's helped

And keep up nitnem n Simran...and smile

May waheguru bless you!

[Guest blank]

Completely adore this thread.. full of love i guess.. thanks so so much for sharing

:waheguru: