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Messed Up In The Head


Guest Turbanated
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Guest Turbanated

I'm a keshdhari sikh male in my mid twenties.

I have a pretty serious psychological problem. My turban and beard severely upset my mental state. I want to keep my hair but I am wandering if it would be better to go clean shaven.

I am not always like this but when I have a turban on, I feel like women despise me. They give me dirty looks thinking they are better than me, especially these indian women. Its not just a woman thing though. I feel like people are hating on me because of my turban. It makes me so paranoid. I can easily pick up a fight with someone when I get paranoid about my turban as it brings out a rage I cannot control. I was looking at this man the other day just glancing but then he must have thought I was looking at him with an intent to scare him so he looked back at me for ages. I went up to him and faced off for a fight because my paranoia got the worst of me and thought he was hating on me because of my turban and being an indian. I was a few moments away from a punch up but luckily my friend intervened.

I feel I am not healthy enough to be on the streets when I am in this condition. I have just come home now because I flipped out in the car at my dad and sister. They don't know what was bothering me but its the way some posh indian chick looked at me. After that, I was screw facing (staring with an intent to face off) every person on the road and I could feel that i was a moment or two from picking up a fight. Thats why I drove myself home and told my dad and sis to take themselves to where we were going.

Its not a healthy mind state. But I have it less when I wear a patka with my hair tied back. Only issue with that is that I get dirty looks from white people because I kind of look Islamic especially with my beard. I think wearing a turban has psychologically messed me up.

What should I do?

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Firstly screw what women think. Secondly, some of the confrontational instances you've described could be due to your psychological state. Now I'm not saying you imagined all of them, but in your volatile frame of mind some of them could've been misconstrued. Take it easy and relax. Just remember what the turban and kesh represent and take it from there.

How about not trying to look at Indian women? You only know what their reaction is if you look at them. What do you care what a stranger thinks about you?

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Guest Turbanated

Firstly screw what women think. Secondly, some of the confrontational instances you've described could be due to your psychological state. Now I'm not saying you imagined all of them, but in your volatile frame of mind some of them could've been misconstrued. Take it easy and relax. Just remember what the turban and kesh represent and take it from there.

How about not trying to look at Indian women? You only know what their reaction is if you look at them. What do you care what a stranger thinks about you?

Being a guy in kali yuga, I can't help caring what they think. Yeah, i'm weak but that doesn't solve the problem. I can seriously see myself doing something crazy over this. I have a history of mental health issues on top of it. Is it worth staying a keshdhari if this is how I end up feeling like?

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Being a guy in kali yuga, I can't help caring what they think. Yeah, i'm weak but that doesn't solve the problem. I can seriously see myself doing something crazy over this. I have a history of mental health issues on top of it. Is it worth staying a keshdhari if this is how I end up feeling like?

It seems you've already made up your mind.

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I'm a keshdhari sikh male in my mid twenties.

I have a pretty serious psychological problem. My turban and beard severely upset my mental state. I want to keep my hair but I am wandering if it would be better to go clean shaven.

I am not always like this but when I have a turban on, I feel like women despise me. They give me dirty looks thinking they are better than me, especially these indian women. Its not just a woman thing though. I feel like people are hating on me because of my turban. It makes me so paranoid. I can easily pick up a fight with someone when I get paranoid about my turban as it brings out a rage I cannot control. I was looking at this man the other day just glancing but then he must have thought I was looking at him with an intent to scare him so he looked back at me for ages. I went up to him and faced off for a fight because my paranoia got the worst of me and thought he was hating on me because of my turban and being an indian. I was a few moments away from a punch up but luckily my friend intervened.

I feel I am not healthy enough to be on the streets when I am in this condition. I have just come home now because I flipped out in the car at my dad and sister. They don't know what was bothering me but its the way some posh indian chick looked at me. After that, I was screw facing (staring with an intent to face off) every person on the road and I could feel that i was a moment or two from picking up a fight. Thats why I drove myself home and told my dad and sis to take themselves to where we were going.

Its not a healthy mind state. But I have it less when I wear a patka with my hair tied back. Only issue with that is that I get dirty looks from white people because I kind of look Islamic especially with my beard. I think wearing a turban has psychologically messed me up.

What should I do?

I know many people that moved from well populated area by punjabis and settled in an area known to be racist and kept their kesh there.. when you go around with the idea that people are racist they dont like you you are going to mess up yourself even more because then you start believing it even more...... if you go around with anakh and pride you will be more confident with who you are...

i have people say to me o....I didnt know sikh women covered their head... and alll that stuff.. they look.....because they are curious..not because they are racist...!!! and those that are racist are going to be racist anways.. they dont like hijabs..they dont like saris or dastaars... lol racist people dont like anything different no matter what it is

the other day we went hiking in a really country area.. we were talking to someone who recently moved here from canada about how racist red necks are... then we had this white old couple walk past us.. they were like o are you sikh? we were surprised they know about us.... so we were like yh not a lot of people know about us.... the lady was like o... no.. my daughter is a sikh so thats how i know about sikhi.

there are many open minded people out there and think of the people that arent born into sikhi but then convert and have so much pyar for saroop...

you should have love for guru jis saroop..

you will never really fit in even if you get rid of kesh and dara.. you can never make everyone happy.. not even the posh indian women LOL people that hate always pick one thing or another.. you cant ever be perfect for the world.. just care about being perfect with the one who will never desert you

http://searchgurbani...ahib/ang_by_ang

listen to more paath and go to sangat to make urself more strong so you can keep your saroop

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Bhai-Anokh-Singh-Babbar-5.jpg

One day Bhai Sahib was arrested by Vairoval Police in the Amritsar area. For many days Bhai Sahib was kept hanging upside down in the police station. Foot-long metal rods were heated up and hammered into his legs, from the heels upward. A pin was put through his private parts and an electricity connection was attached to it so that he could be shocked. Hot metal rods were also passed through his chest. But the Guru's Singh took the tortures calmly. All the torturers heard was "Vahiguru". No cries of pain, no screams.

After the torture, Bhai Sahib was left on the ground, unable to move. The time for Rehraas arrived. Bhai Sahib opened his eyelids but the sockets that held his eyes were hollow. His beautiful beard was soaked in blood. Those eyes which were once lost in deep meditation had been taken out by the dushts.

Bhai Sahib called out, "Sentry! Bhai Sahib jee, what time is it?" He felt around himself with his hands to find the guard.

"It's 7.15 Babio. What? What has happend to your eyes??"

The Sentry looked at Bhai Sahib's face and felt frightened.

"Oh, it must be time for Sodar then. Sodar tera kayhaa..." Bhai Anokh Singh began to recite Rehraas Sahib lying on the ground. Even though his body was shattered, Bhai Sahib recited the paath in a sweet voice. The Sentry too felt the vairaag.

After Sodar, Bhai Sahib, still lying on the ground began Ardaas. It was a daily part of his routine. "Ten Gurus, Punj Pyaaray, Chaar Sahibzaaday, The Guru's Jhanday and Boongay..." Bhai Sahib then began his personal ardaas: "Hay Akaal Purakh Suchay Paatshah Guru Nanak dev Gareeb Nivaaj Satguru, the day which rose in your bhaaNaa has passed in happiness, meditating on your naam. Suchay Paatshah, night has arrived, may it too pass while remembering your Naam and in your BhaaNaa....Satguru, May I be a Shaheed...Suchay Patshaah, save me from becoming a traitor...Satguru, may the Sikhi and kesh you have given me last with me till my final breaths...Such Paatshah, have mercy on all....Bolay So Nihaal...Sat Sree Akaal!!"

The Jaikara Bhai Sahib sounded echoed throughout the police station.

The Sentry ran to the station-head and surrendered his rifle and tabled his resignation.

"I can't do this job that forces people to kill saints...I can't..." He kept repeating himself.

The SSP cursed, "They are all magicians...another of our officers has left the service because of this paath!!"

And then another atrocity was committed. Bhai Sahib's tongue was cut off using a metal cutting saw. Streams of blood flowed from Bhai Sahib's mouth but the faithful Singh raised his hands in Ardaas and thanked Vahiguru.

In the end, the police became tired of all this and shot Bhai Sahib in the station. When the shot was fired, a motor cycle was started so that the gun could not be heard. Over night, Bhai Sahib's body was thrown into the river Beas.

singhs like bhai anokh singh ji inspire us. singhs went thru so much torture but their sikhi didnt die.. how can we let down our sikhi just because of the certain way people look at us.

if you go on with that belief that you are a weak person you will never know your strength

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Guest Turbanated

Kaljugi, I agree that sometimes my interpretation may be misconstrued.

Kharkooartsy, thanks for the advice. Its not so much about not fitting in though, i'm not really coming from that angle. Its more to do with the belief that people are hating on me, that really ticks me off, and how that makes me end up feeling i.e. uncontrollable rage or thereabouts. I love my hair and I doubt i'm going to cut it but I'm just thinking out loud.

Going a bit off topic here but when people say look at what your ancestors went through, this should make you keep your hair, I don't really believe thats a really good way to convince people because I don't think you are born into sikhi. You got to believe it and then live it. For the people who believe in it and live it (whether they were born into a sikh family or converted) then this is a good thing to say.

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Kaljugi, I agree that sometimes my interpretation may be misconstrued.

Kharkooartsy, thanks for the advice. Its not so much about not fitting in though, i'm not really coming from that angle. Its more to do with the belief that people are hating on me, that really ticks me off, and how that makes me end up feeling i.e. uncontrollable rage or thereabouts. I love my hair and I doubt i'm going to cut it but I'm just thinking out loud.

Going a bit off topic here but when people say look at what your ancestors went through, this should make you keep your hair, I don't really believe thats a really good way to convince people because I don't think you are born into sikhi. You got to believe it and then live it. For the people who believe in it and live it (whether they were born into a sikh family or converted) then this is a good thing to say.

bani, sangat, seva will give you the strength to not worry about what they think. also, why are you interested in posh type girls?? since when are those kind going to put principles/dharm first? seems like you're going for the wrong kind of girl.

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yh i agree with you on that. you are never born into sikhi you live it.. but i think a lot of people that are born into sikhi but dont practice it is usually because they werent brought up around sangat and sikhi. i used to be one of them.. learning about shaheeds is what made me keep my kesh and like you said people hate on you... i experienced it too, not from amreekans but from desis. all because our kaum is soo divided, not enough parchaar.

Kaljugi, I agree that sometimes my interpretation may be misconstrued.

Kharkooartsy, thanks for the advice. Its not so much about not fitting in though, i'm not really coming from that angle. Its more to do with the belief that people are hating on me, that really ticks me off, and how that makes me end up feeling i.e. uncontrollable rage or thereabouts. I love my hair and I doubt i'm going to cut it but I'm just thinking out loud.

Going a bit off topic here but when people say look at what your ancestors went through, this should make you keep your hair, I don't really believe thats a really good way to convince people because I don't think you are born into sikhi. You got to believe it and then live it. For the people who believe in it and live it (whether they were born into a sikh family or converted) then this is a good thing to say.

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Guest Passing cloud

Turbinated you say that you it's not about you fitting in society but it's more about people hating on you.

Pretty much comes down to fitting in. Why do you want to feel belonged and accepted by society?

If you feel people are hating on you so be it. It comes down to ignorance. When you adapt the Sikh way of life and become a gursikh you belong to the Khalsa Panth. That's all that should matter.

Get rid of that negative feeling of wanting to remove your kes in order to remove peoples hatred. Thats their problem. What happens when you cut your hair? Some people show hatred towards brown skinned people, what will you do then, change the colour of your skin?

Everyone has posted some good advice. The above post about Bhai Anokh Singh is inspiring, it should make you feel proud about your appearance and Sikh heritage.

So don't lash out in anger because remember you are representing the Khalsa!

Try to attend gurdwara often, stay in sangat.

Take care

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ke Fateh

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